


Superghetto

by ackles_ass_equation



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bloody Mary - Freeform, Canon, Dead In The Water, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, Episode: s01e02 Wendigo, Episode: s01e03 Dead in the Water, Episode: s01e04 Phantom Traveler, Episode: s01e05 Bloody Mary, Ghetto, Parody, Supernatural - Freeform, Wendigo, phantom traveler, pilot, script, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:11:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 47,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Get ready for this. I am in the process of turning every transcript of Supernatural into a ghetto translation. I'm telling you to get ready because this will quite possibly be the greatest thing you will ever get to experience and the only thing you will never regret in your entire life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1.01 Pilot (PROLOGUE)

_(ext. den – night)_  
_Lawrence, Kansas_  
_22 years ago_  
_Dem scenes r’ definitively dated ta 2_ nov _2005._

Crickets chirp. a large deciduous tree wit’ no leaves stands outside one o’ several suburban homes.

_(int. nursery – night)_

Sum bitch, mary winchester, wearin’ a white nightgown, carries a small child, her asshole son dean, da fuck into a dark room.

 **Mary**  
Come on, letz say wack night ta yo’ goddamn brotha.

Mary turns on tha lights: dat shitz tha nursery o’ a baby, sam, Who the fuck be lyin’ in his muthafuckin’ crib n’ lookin’ ova at mary n’ dean. mary sets dean down. dean leans ova da side o’ da crib n’ kisses sam on da forehead.

 **Dean**  
‘night, sam.

Mary leans ova sam as well shiiit,.

 **Mary**  
Wack night, ludd.

Mary brushes samz hair back n’ kisses his muthafuckin’ forehead.

 **Thug**  
Hey, dean.

Dean turns. tha thug in tha doorway wearin’ a usmc t-shirt be jizzy. dean rushes ova ta his ass.

 **Dean**  
Daddy!

 **jizzy (thug)**  
Hey, buddy.

Jizzy scoops dean the fuck up.

 **jiZZY  
** So What the fuck do yo’ think? yo’ think sammyz ready ta toss 'round a football yet?

Dean shakes his mothafuckin head, laughin.

 **Dean**  
No, daddy.

Jizzy laughs.

 **Jizzy**  
No.

Mary passes jizzy n’ dean on da way out o’ da room.

 **Mary**  
Yo’ got his ass?

 **Jizzy**  
I got his ass.

Jizzy hugs dean closa.

 **Jizzy**  
Sweet dreams, sam.

Jizzy carries dean out o’ tha room, flippin’ off tha lights. sam watches 'em git, gurgling, then tries ta reach his muthafuckin’ toes.

Tha baseball-themed mobile above samz crib begins ta spin on itz own while sam watches. da transportation-themed clock on da wall ticks, ticks, stops. da moon-shaped nightlight flickers.

 _(int._ masta _bedroom – night)_

Lights flicka on a baby monitor sittin’ on a nightstand next ta a photo o’ mary n’ jizzy. strange noises come through da monitor. mary, asleep in bed, stirs. biatch turns on da light on da nightstand.

 **Mary**  
Jizzy?

Mary turns: biatchz alone. biatch gets the fuck up.

_(int. hallway – night)_

Mary walks down da hall ta samz nursery. jizzy, peep only in silhouette, stands ova samz crib.

 **Mary**  
Jizzy? be dude hungry?

Jizzy turns his muthafuckin’ head.

 **Thug**  
Shhh.

 **Mary**  
All right.

Mary heads back down da hallway. tha light by tha stairs be flickerin’. mary frowns n’ goes ta tap at dat shit till da light steadies.

 **Mary**  
Hm.

Mo’ flickerin’ light be comin’ from downstairs: mary investigates. a wa movie be on tv n’ jizzy has fallen asleep watchin’ dat shit. if jizzy be here, mary realizes, then da thug upstairs cannot be jizzy n’ must be a danga. biatch runs back upstairs.

 **Mary**  
Sammy! sammy!

Mary enters samz nursery n’ stops short.

_(int. livin’ room – night)_

Upstairs, mary screams. jizzy wakes the fuck up.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary?

Jizzy scrambles out o’ tha chair.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary!

Jizzy runs upstairs.

_(int. nursery – night)_

Jizzy bursts through tha closed door o’ tha nursery.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary.

Da room be quiet n’ appears empty except fo’ sam awake in his muthafuckin’ crib n’ jizzy. jizzy glances 'round n’ pushes down tha side o’ samz crib.

 **Jizzy**  
Hey, sammy. yo’ okay?

Somethang dark drips next ta sam. jizzy touches dat shit. two mo’ drops land on da back o’ jizzyz hand. dat shit looks like blood. jizzy looks the fuck up. mary be sprawled across tha ceiling, tha stomach o’ her asshole nightgown red wit’ blood, starin’ at jizzy n’ strugglin’ ta breathe. jizzy collapses onto da floor, starin’ at mary.

 **Jizzy**  
No! mary!

Mary bursts da fuck into flame. da fire spreads ova da ceilin’. jizzy stares, frozen. sam wails. jizzy, reminded dudez not alone, gets the fuck up n’ scoops sam out o’ his muthafuckin’ crib n’ rushes out o’ tha room.

_(int. hallway – night)_

Dean be awake n’ comin’ ta investigate.

 **Dean**  
Daddy!

Jizzy shoves sam at dean.

 **Jizzy**  
Take yo’ goddamn brotha outside as fast as yo’ can n’ don’t look back! naw, dean, git!

Dean turns n’ runs. jizzy turns back ta da nursery.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary!

Da entire room be on fire. mary her dirty ass can barely be peep.

 **Jizzy**  
No!

_(ext. den – night)_

Dean runs outside, holdin’ sam.

 **Dean**  
Dat shitz okay, sammy.

Dean turns ta look the fuck up at samz window, which be lit wit’ gold.

Jizzy runs outside, scoops the fuck up dean n’ sam, n’ carries 'em both away.

 **Jizzy**  
I gotcha.

Fire explodes out o’ samz nursery window.

 _(ext. den – night,_ lata _)_

Tha lawrence fire department has arrived. a firefighta gets out o’ a fire truck n’ takes ova at tha gauges fo’ anotha firefighta.

 **Firefighta**  
I got dat shit. yo’ git hold da line the fuck up.

Da second firefighta goes ta da back o’ da truck n’ takes a hose from a third firefighta. dat firefighta takes tha hose towards tha den Where the fuck a fourth firefighta be sprayin’ through samz nursery window. a paramedic opens da back o’ an ambulance. a police offica waves some neighbors back.

 **Offica**  
Stay back. yo’ have ta stay back.

Across tha street from tha den, jizzy n’ dean sit on tha hood o’ jizzyz impala, jizzy holdin’ sam. jizzy looks the fuck up at da remnants o’ da fire.


	2. 1.01 Pilot (ACT ONE)

_Stanford university_  
Present day  
Dat shit be 31 oct 2005.  
“gasoline” by ginga begins ta play.  
Apartment  
(Int. bedroom – day)

 **Young whore**  
Sam!

Da young whore, jess, comes ‘round a corner; biatch be wearin’ a sexy-nurse costume n’ adjustin’ her asshole hat. tha photo o’ mary n’ jizzy from earlia be on tha dressa.

 **Jess  
** Git a move on, would yo’? ****

 **Music  
** I’ve been shot from a cannon ****

 **Jess  
** We were supposed ta be there like fifteen minutes ago. ****

Jess walks off.

 **Jess  
** Sam! ****

 **Music  
** I’m a huthug cannonball ****

 **Jess  
** Yo’ comin’ or What the fuck? ****

A young thug pokes his muthafuckin’ head 'round da corner; dis be sam. dudez wearin’ jeans n’ three shirts, not a costume.

 **Sam  
** Do i have ta? ****

 **Jess  
** Yep! ****

 **Music  
** I’m gonna fly high ****

 **Jess  
** Dat shit’ll be fun. ****

Sam comes da fuck into da room.

 **Jess  
** N’ Where the fuckz yo’ goddamn costume? ****

 **Music  
** I’m gonna fall fall fall ****

Sam laughs n’ ducks his muthafuckin’ head.

 **Sam  
** Yo’ know how tha fuck i feel 'bout halloween. ****

_(int. ba – night)_

Classicz “what cha gonna do” begins ta play.

 **Music  
** Show me whatcha gonna do  
Yeah biatch whatcha gonna do  
R’ yo’ tryin’ ta git in  
Yeah biatch whatcha gonna do ****

Da ba be decorated fo’ halloween (includin’ a gargoyle wit’ cobwebs n’ a baseball hat dat says “get naked”). someone pours someone else a shot. y'all be in costume.

 **Music  
** R’ yo’ gonna ride ****

Jess raises a glass as a young thug in a ghoul costume, luis, comes the fuck up ta da table Where the fuck sam n’ jess r’. sam be still not in costume.

 **Jess  
** So herez ta sam— ****

 **Music  
** Baby ****

 **Jess  
** —and his muthafuckin’ kickass lsat victory. ****

 **Sam  
** All right, all right, dat shitz not dat big a deal. ****

Jess, sam, n’ luis clink glasses.

 **Jess  
** Yeah biatch, dude acts all humble.  
N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but dude scored a one seventy-four. ****

Luis drinks his muthafuckin’ shot n’ so does sam.

 **Luis  
** Be dat wack? ****

 **Jess  
** Retarded wack. ****

Jess drinks.

 **Luis  
** So there yo’ git. yo’ r’ a first-round draft pick. yo’ can git ta any law oldschool yo’ want! ****

Luis sits next ta sam.

 **Sam  
** Actually, i got an interview here. monday. if dat shit goes okay i think i got a shot at a full ride next yea. ****

 **Jess  
** Hey. dat shitz gonna git great. ****

 **Sam  
** Dat shit betta. ****

 **Luis  
** How tha fuck does dat shit feel ta be tha golden pimp o’ yo’ goddamn family? ****

 **Sam  
** Ah, they don’t know. ****

 **Luis  
** Oh, no, i would be gloating! Why the fuck not? ****

 **Sam  
** Bcuz’ we’re not exactly tha bradys. ****

 **Luis  
** N’ i’m not exactly tha huxtables. mo’ shots? ****

Jess n’ sam speak in chorus.

 **Jess n’ sam  
** No. no. ****

 **Sam  
** No. ****

Luis goes the fuck up ta tha ba anyway.

 **Jess  
** No, seriously. i’m proud o’ yo’. n’ yo’’re gonna knock 'em dead on monday and yo’’re gonna git dat full ride. i know dat shit. ****

 **Sam  
** What the fuck would i do without yo’? ****

 **Jess  
** Crash n’ burn. ****

Jess smiles n’ pulls sam in fo’ a kiss.

 **Music  
** R’ yo’ tryin’ ta git in **  
**Yeah biatch whatcha gonna do ****

_Apartment  
(int. bedroom – night)_

**Music  
** R’ yo’ gonna ride baby ****

Sam n’ jess lie in bed, asleep back ta back. jess shifts position.

A sound outside tha room, like a window openin’. sam opens his muthafuckin’ eyes.

_(int. apartment – night)_

Sam leaves da bedroom n’ looks 'round da apartment.

A window be open; earlia dat shit must have been closed. footsteps. a thug walks past da strings o’ beads at da fa end o’ da hall. sam moves ta anotha part o’ da apartment n’ waits. da thug enters da room. sam lunges forward n’ grabs da thug at da shoulda. da thug knocks samz arm away n’ aims a strike at sam, Who the fuck ducks. da thug grabs samz arm, swings his ass 'round, n’ shoves his ass back. sam kicks n’ be blocked, then pushed back da fuck into anotha room. if da thug hadn’t peep samz face before, dude sees dat shit naw; sam gets his muthafuckin’ first glimpse o’ da thug. tha thug elbows sam in tha face; sam kicks at his muthafuckin’ head. da thug ducks n’ swings n’ sam blocks. tha thug knocks sam down n’ pins his ass ta tha floor, one hand at samz neck n’ tha otha holdin’ samz wrist.

 **Thug  
** Whoa, easy, tiga. ****

Sam breathes hard.

 **Sam  
** Dean? ****

Dean laughs.

 **Sam  
** Yo’ scared tha crap out o’ me! ****

 **Dean  
** Datz 'cause yo’’re out o’ practice. ****

Sam grabs deanz hand n’ yanks, slammin’ his muthafuckin’ heel da fuck into deanz back n’ dean ta tha floor.

 **Dean  
** Or not. ****

Sam taps dean twice Where the fuck sam be holdin’ his ass.

 **Dean  
** Git off o’ me. ****

Sam rolls ta his muthafuckin’ feet n’ pulls dean the fuck up.

 **Sam  
** What the fuck tha hell r’ yo’ doin’ here? ****

 **Dean  
** Well shiiit,, i was lookin’ fo’ a bea. ****

Dean puts his muthafuckin’ hands on samz shoulders, shakes once, n’ lets git.

 **Sam  
** What the fuck tha hell r’ yo’ doin’ here? ****

 **Dean  
** Okay. all right. we gotta rap. ****

 **Sam  
** Uh, da phone? ****

 **Dean  
** If i’d'a called, would yo’ have picked the fuck up? ****

Jess turns da light on. biatch be wearin’ very short shorts n’ a cropped smurfs shirt.

 **Jess  
** Sam? ****

Sam n’ dean turn their muthafuckin’ heads in unison.

 **Sam  
** Jess. hey. dean, dis be my fuckin’ girlfriend, jessica. ****

Dean looks at her ass appreciatively.

 **Jess  
** Wait, yo’ goddamn brotha dean? ****

Jess smiles. sam nods. dean grins at her ass n’ moves closa.

 **Dean  
** Oh, i ludd tha smurfs. yo’ know, i gotta tell yo’. yo’ r’ completely out o’ my fuckin’ brotherz league. ****

 **Jess  
** Just let me put somethang on. ****

Jess turns ta git. deanz voice stops her ass.

 **Dean  
** No, no, no, i wouldn’t dream o’ dat shit. seriously. ****

Dean goes back ova ta sam without takin’ his muthafuckin’ eyes off jess. sam watches his ass, his muthafuckin’ expression stony.

 **Dean  
** Anyway, i gotta borrow yo’ goddamn boyfriend here, rap 'bout some private family businizz. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but, uh, nice meetin’ yo’. ****

 **Sam  
** No. ****

Sam goes ova ta jess n’ puts an arm 'round her asshole.

 **Sam  
** No, whateva yo’ want ta say, yo’ can say dat shit in front o’ her asshole. ****

 **Dean  
** Okay. ****

Dean turns ta look at 'em both straight on.

 **Dean  
** Um. dad hasn’t been home in a few days. ****

 **Sam  
** So dudez workin’ overtime on a milla time shift. dude’ll stumble back in soona or lata. ****

Dean ducks his muthafuckin’ head n’ looks back the fuck up.

 **Dean  
** Dadz on a huntin’ trip. n’ dude hasn’t been home in a few days. ****

Samz expression doesn’t change while dude takes dis in. jess glances the fuck up at his ass.

 **Sam  
** Jess, excuse us. we have ta git outside. ****

_Outside apartment  
(int. stairwell – night)_

Sam n’ dean head downstairs. sam has put on jeans n’ a hoodie.

 **Sam  
** I mean, come on. yo’ can’t just break in, middle o’ tha night, n’ expect me ta hit tha road wit’ yo’. ****

 **Dean  
** Yo’’re not hearin’ me, sammy. dadz missin’. i need yo’ ta help me find his ass. ****

 **Sam  
** Yo’ rememba tha poltergeist in amherst? or tha devilz gates in clifton? dude was missin’ then, too. dudez always missing, n’ dudez always fine. ****

Dean stops n’ turns 'round. sam stops too.

 **Dean  
** Not fo’ dis long. naw r’ yo’ gonna come wit’ me or not? ****

 **Sam  
** I’m not. ****

 **Dean  
** Why the fuck not? ****

 **Sam  
** I swore i was done huntin’. fo’ wack. ****

 **Dean  
** Come on. dat shit wasn’t easy, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but dat shit wasn’t dat shizzle. ****

Dean starts downstairs again. sam follows.

 **Sam  
** Yeah biatch? When the fuck i told dad i was scared o’ da thang in my fuckin’ closet, dude gave me a. 45. ****

Dean stops at tha door ta tha outside.

 **Dean  
** Well shiiit,, What the fuck was dude supposed ta do? ****

 **Sam  
** I was nine years old! dude was supposed ta say, don’t be afraid o’ tha dark. ****

 **Dean  
** Don’t be afraid o’ da dark? r’ yo’ kiddin’ me? o’ course yo’ should be afraid o’ da dark. yo’ know What the fuckz out there. ****

 **Sam  
** Yeah biatch, i know, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but still. da way we grew the fuck up, afta mom was killed, n’ dadz obsession ta find da thang dat killed her asshole. ****

Dean glances outside.

 **Sam  
** N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but we still haven’t found da damn thang. so we fuck everythin’ we can find. ****

 **Dean  
** We save a lot o’ people doin’ dat shit, too. ****

A pause.

 **Sam  
** Yo’ think mom would have wanted dis fo’ us? ****

Dean rolls his muthafuckin’ eyes n’ slams tha door open.

_(ext. parkin’ lot – night)_

Therez a short flight o’ stairs from tha door ta tha parkin’ lot. dean n’ sam climb dat shit.

 **Sam  
** Tha weapon training, n’ meltin’ tha silva da fuck into bullets? thug, dean, we were raised like warriors. ****

They cross da parkin’ lot ta da impala from da prologue.

 **Dean  
** So What the fuck r’ yo’ gonna do? yo’’re just gonna live some aiiight, apple pie life? be dat dat shit? ****

 **Sam  
** No. not aiiight. safe. ****

 **Dean  
** N’ datz Why the fuck yo’ ran away. ****

Dean looks away.

 **Sam  
** I was just goin’ ta college. dat shit was dad Who the fuck said if i was gonna git i should stay gone. n’ datz What the fuck i’m doin’. ****

 **Dean  
** Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, dadz in real trouble right naw. if dudez not dead already. i can feel dat shit. ****

Sam be silent.

 **Dean  
** I can’t do dis alone. ****

 **Sam  
** Yep yo’ can. ****

Dean looks down.

 **Dean  
** Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, i don’t want ta. ****

Sam sighs n’ looks down, thinking, then the fuck up.

 **Sam  
** What the fuck was dude hunting? ****

Dean opens tha trunk o’ tha impala, then tha spare-tire compartment. dat shitz an arsenal. dude props da compartment open wit’ a shotgun n’ digs through da clutta.

 **Dean  
** All right, letz peep, Where the fuck da hell did i put dat thang? ****

 **Sam  
** So When the fuck dad left, Why the fuck didn’t yo’ git wit’ his ass? ****

 **Dean  
** I was workin’ my fuckin’ own gig. dis, uh, voodoo thang, down in new orleans. ****

 **Sam  
** Dad let yo’ git on a huntin’ trip by yourself? ****

Dean looks ova at sam.

 **Dean  
** I’m twenty-six, dude. ****

Dean pulls some papers out o’ a folda.

 **Dean  
** All right, here we git. so dad was checkin’ out dis two-lane blacktop just outside o’ jericho, californizzle. 'bout a month ago, dis thug. ****

Dean hands one o’ tha papers ta sam.

 **Dean  
** They found his muthafuckin’ car, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but dude vanished. completely mizzle. ****

Tha papa be a printout o’ an article from tha jericho herald, headlined “centennial highway disappearance” n’ dated sept. 19th 2005; dat shit has a thugz picture, captioned “andrew carey missing”. sam reads dat shit n’ glances the fuck up.

 **Sam  
** So maybe dude was kidnapped. ****

 **Dean  
** Yeah biatch. well shiiit,, herez anotha one in april. ****

Dean tosses down anotha jericho herald article fo’ each date dude mentions.

 **Dean  
** Anotha one in decemba 'oh-four, 'oh-three, 'ninety-eight, 'ninety-two, ten o’ 'em ova tha past twenty years. ****

Dean takes tha article back from sam n’ picks the fuck up tha rest o’ tha stack, puttin’ 'em back in tha folda.

 **Dean  
** All thugs, all da same five-mile stretch o’ road. ****

Dean pulls a bag out o’ anotha part o’ tha arsenal.

 **Dean  
** Dat shit started happenin’ mo’ n’ mo’, so dad went ta git dig 'round. dat was 'bout three weeks ago. i hadn’t heard from his ass since, which be shizzle enough. ****

Dean grabs a handheld tape recorda.

 **Dean  
** Then i git dis voicemail yesterday. ****

Dude presses play. tha recordin’ be staticky n’ tha signal was clearly breakin’ the fuck up.

 **Jizzy  
** Dean… somethang big be startin’ ta happen… i need ta try n’ figure out What the fuckz goin’ on. dat shit may… be very careful, dean. we’re all in danga. ****

Dean presses stop.

 **Sam  
** Yo’ know therez evp on dat? ****

 **Dean  
** Not shizzle, sammy. kinda like ridin’ a bike, isn’t dat shit? ****

Sam shakes his muthafuckin’ head.

 **Dean  
** All right. i slowed da message down, i ran dat shit through a gold wave, took out da hiss, n’ dis be What the fuck i got. ****

Dude presses play again.

 **Whore  
** I can neva git home… ****

Dean presses stop.

 **Sam  
** Neva git home. ****

Dean drops da recorder, puts down da shotgun, stands straight, n’ shuts da trunk, then leans on dat shit.

 **Dean  
** Yo’ know, in almost two years i’ve neva bothered yo’, neva asked yo’ fo’ a thang. ****

Sam looks away n’ sighs, then looks back.

 **Sam  
** All right. i’ll git. i’ll help yo’ find his ass. ****

Dean nods.

 **Sam  
** N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but i have ta git back first thang monday. just wait here. ****

Sam turns ta git back ta da apartment. dude turns back When the fuck dean speaks.

 **Dean  
** What the fuckz first thang monday? ****

 **Sam  
** I have dis… i have an interview. ****

 **Dean**  
What the fuck, a job interview? skip dat shit.

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz a law oldschool interview, n’ dat shitz my fuckin’ whole future on a plate.

 **Dean  
** Law oldschool? ****

Dean smirks.

 **Sam  
** So we got a deal or not? ****

Dean says nothang.

_Apartment  
(int. bedroom – night)_

Sam be packin’ a duffel bag. dude pulls out a large hook-shaped knife n’ slides dat shit inside. jess comes da fuck into tha room.

 **Jess  
** Wait, yo’’re takin’ off? ****

Sam looks the fuck up.

 **Jess  
** Be dis 'bout yo’ goddamn dad? be dude all right? ****

 **Sam  
** Yeah biatch. yo’ know, just a lil’ family drama. ****

Sam goes ova ta tha dressa n’ turns on tha lamp atop dat shit.

 **Jess**  
Yo’ goddamn brotha said dude was on some kind o’ huntin’ trip.

Jess sits on da bed. sam rummages in one o’ tha drawers n’ comes out wit’ a couple shirts, which git in tha duffel.

 **Sam**  
Oh, yeah biatch, dudez just dea huntin’ the fuck up at tha cabin, dudez probably got jim, jack, n’ josé along wit’ his ass. i’m just goin’ ta git brin’ his ass back.

 **Jess**  
What the fuck 'bout tha interview?

 **Sam**  
I’ll make tha interview. dis be only fo’ a couple days.

Sam goes 'round tha bed. jess gets the fuck up n’ follows.

 **Jess  
** Sam, i mean, pwease. ****

Sam stops n’ turns.

 **Jess  
** Just stop fo’ a second. yo’ shizzle yo’’re okay? ****

Sam laughs a lil’.

 **Sam  
** I’m fine. ****

 **Jess  
** Dat shitz just… yo’ won’t even rap 'bout yo’ goddamn family. n’ naw yo’’re takin’ off in tha middle o’ tha night ta spend a weekend wit’ 'em? n’ wit’ monday comin’ the fuck up, which be kind o’ a huge deal. ****

 **Sam  
** Hey. everythingz goin’ ta be okay. i gotta be back in time, i promise. ****

Dude kisses her ass on da cheek n’ leaves.

 **Jess  
** At least tell me Where the fuck yo’’re goin’. ****

 _Centennial highway_  
(ext. centennial highway – night)  
(Jericho, californizzle)

Tha eagles o’ dirtnap metalz “speakin’ in tongues” plays. a young thug, troy, be drivin’ down tha highway, talkin’ on his muthafuckin’ cell phone.

 **Troy  
** Amy, i can’t come ova tonight. bcuz’ i’ve got work in tha morning, datz Why the fuck… . yeah biatch, okay, i miss dat shit n’ my fuckin’ dadz gonna have my fuckin’ ass. ****

A high-pitched whine. troy looks ova n’ sees a whore in a white dress on tha side o’ tha road. biatchz movin’ as though dancing; biatch flickers, n’ fo’ a moment biatchz gone.

 **Troy  
** Hey, ah, amy, let me call yo’ back? ****

 **Music  
** I got dis feelin’ n’ dat shitz deep in my fuckin’ bah-tay **  
**Dat shit gives me wiggles n’ dat shit makes my fuckin’ rump shake **  
**I said ho! ****

Troy tries several times ta turn off da radio, which be flickerin’. nothang happens.

 **Music  
** If i should touch yo’ **  
**Might be electrocuted **  
**I said ho! **  
**Deep in yo’ goddamn body ****

Troy pulls the fuck up next ta tha whore, whose dress be torn in several places, n’ stops, leanin’ across tha shotgun seat.

 **Troy  
** Ca trouble or somethang? ****

A long pause.

 **Whore  
** Take me home? ****

Da voice be da same one from da altered voicemail. troy opens da passenga door.

 **Troy  
** Shizzle, git in. ****

Da whore, Who the fuck be barefoot, climbs in n’ closes da door.

 **Troy  
** So, Where the fuck do yo’ live? ****

 **Whore  
** At tha end o’ breckenridge road. ****

Troy nods.

 **Troy  
** Yo’ comin’ from a halloween party or somethang? ****

Tha whorez dress be very low-cut. troy notices, stares, n’ looks away, laughin’ nervously.

 **Troy  
** Yo’ know, a biatch like yo’ really shouldn’t be alone out here. ****

Biatch looks at his ass mournfully, seductively, n’ pulls her asshole skirt the fuck up ova her asshole thigh.

 **Whore  
** I’m wit’ yo’. ****

Troy looks away. tha whore takes troyz chin n’ turns his muthafuckin’ face towards her asshole.

 **Whore  
** Do yo’ think i’m pretty? ****

Troy nods, eyes stuck on her asshole cleavage.

 **Troy  
** Uh… huh. ****

 **Whore  
** Gotta yo’ come home wit’ me? ****

 **Troy  
** Um. hell yeah biatch. ****

Dude drives off.

_(ext. abandoned den – night)_

They pull the fuck up ta an old abandoned den at da end o’ a road. tha whore stares at dat shit sadly.

 **Troy  
** Come on. yo’ don’t live here. ****

 **Whore  
** I can neva git home. ****

 **Troy  
** What the fuck r’ yo’ talkin’ 'bout? nobody even lives here. Where the fuck do yo’ live? ****

Dude turns, n’ biatchz gone. dude checks tha back seat, also empty, n’ gets out o’ tha car, nervous.

 **Troy  
** Datz wack. jokez over, okay? yo’ want me ta leave? ****

Troy looks 'round: no signs o’ life except crickets. dude walks towards tha den.

 **Troy  
** Yo? yo? ****

Therez a picture o’ tha whore n’ two children inside tha den; tha picture be covered in dust.

Troy peers through tha hole in tha screen door. a bird flies at his muthafuckin’ face, scarin’ his ass da fuck into fallin’ ova. dude yells, leaps ta his muthafuckin’ feet, n’ runs back ta da ca. dude gets in n’ drives off.

_(ext. centennial highway – night)_

Troy looks behind him—no onez there—then in da rearview mirror. tha whore be in tha back seat. troy yells again n’ drives straight through a “bridge closed” sign, stoppin’ 'bout halfway across tha bridge. dude screams. blood spatters tha window.


	3. 1.01 Pilot (ACT TWO)

_Gas station_   
_(ext. gas station – day)_   
_(Dat shit be 1 nov 2005.)_

Tha impala be parked in front o’ a pump. “ramblin’ thug” by tha allthug brothers plays.

 **Music**  
Lord, i was born a ramblin’ thug

Dean comes out o’ da convenience mart carryin’ junk food.

 **Music**  
Tryin’ ta make a livin’ n’ doin’ tha best i can

Sam be sittin’ in tha shotgun seat wit’ tha door open, riflin’ through a box o’ tapes.

 **Dean**  
Hey!

Sam leans out n’ looks at his ass.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ want breakfast?

 **Sam**  
No, thanks.

 **Music**  
N’ When the fuck dat shitz time fo’ leavin’

 **Sam**  
So how tha fuck’d yo’ pay fo’ dat shit?

 **Music**  
I hope yo’’ll understand

 **Sam**  
Yo’ n’ dad still runnin’ credit card scams?

 **Music**  
Dat i was born a ramblin’ thug

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, huntin’ ain’t exactly a pro ball carea.

Dean puts tha nozzle back on tha pump.

 **Dean**  
Besides, all we do be apply. dat shitz not our fault they send us tha cards.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch? n’ What the fuck names did yo’ write on da application dis time?

Sam swings his muthafuckin’ legs back inside da ca n’ closes da door.

 **Dean**  
Uh, burt aframian.

Dean gets da fuck into tha driva seat n’ puts his muthafuckin’ soda n’ chips down.

 **Dean**  
N’ his muthafuckin’ son hector. scored two cards out o’ tha deal.

Dean closes tha door.

 **Sam**  
Dat sounds ‘bout right. i swear, thug, yo’’ve gotta update yo’ goddamn cassette tape collection.

There r’ at least a dozen cassettes in da box on samz lap; some have album art, others r’ hand-labeled.

 **Dean**  
Why the fuck?

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, fo’ one, they’re cassette tapes. n’ two.

Sam holds the fuck up a tape fo’ every band dude names.

 **Sam**  
Black sabbath? motorhead? metallica?

Dean takes tha box labeled metallica from sam.

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz da greatest hits o’ mullet rock.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, den rules, sammy.

Dean pops da tape in da playa.

 **Dean**  
Driva picks da music, shotgun shuts his muthafuckin’ cakehole.

Dean drops tha metallica box back in tha box o’ tapes n’ starts tha engine.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ know, sammy be a chubby twelve-year-old.

Ac/dcz “back in black” begins ta play.

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz sam, okay?

 **Dean**  
Sorry, i can’t hea yo’, da musicz too loud.

Dean drives off.

_Centennial highway_   
_(ext. centennial highway – day)_

**Music**  
Back in black  
I hit da sack  
I’ve been too long  
I’m glad ta be back  
Yep i’m let loose

They drive past a sign dat says “jericho 7”.

 **Music**  
From da noose  
Datz kept me hangin’ 'bout

Sam be talkin’ on his muthafuckin’ cell phone.

 **Sam**  
Thank yo’.

Sam closes his muthafuckin’ phone.

 **Music**  
Lookin’ at da sky  
'cause dat shitz gettin’ me high

 **Sam**  
All right. so, therez no one matchin’ dad at da hospital or morgue.

 **Music**  
Forget tha hearse 'cause i’ll neva die

 **Sam**  
So datz somethang, i guess.

Dean glances ova at sam, then back at da road. at a bridge ahead o’ 'em, there r’ two police cars n’ several officers.

 **Music**  
I got nine lives  
Pussaaaaaayz eyes  
Abusin’ every one o’ 'em n’ runnin’ wild

 **Dean**  
Check dat shit out.

Sam leans forward fo’ a closa look.

 **Music**  
'cause i’m back  
Yep i’m back

Dean pulls ova. they take a long look before dean turns off da engine. kid gloves musicz “my cheatin’ ways” begins ta play. dean opens tha glove compartment n’ pulls out a box full o’ id cards wit’ his muthafuckin’ n’ jizzyz faces: visible ones include fbi n’ dea. dude picks one out n’ grins at sam, Who the fuck stares.

 **Dean**  
Letz git.

Dean gets out o’ da ca.

On da bridge, da lead deputy, deputy jaffe, leans ova da railin’ ta yell down ta two thugs in wetsuits Who the fuck were pokin’ 'round da riva.

 **Jaffe**  
Yo’ guys find anything?

 **Thug**  
No! nothang!

Jaffe turns back ta tha ca in tha middle o’ tha bridge. dat shitz familiar: dat shitz troy’s, tha blood gone. anotha deputy, deputy hein, be at da driverz side lookin’ 'round inside da ca.

 **Hein**  
No sign o’ struggle, no footprints, no fingerprints. spotless. dat shitz almost too clean.

Dean n’ sam walk da fuck into da crime scene like they belong there.

 **Jaffe**  
So, dis kid troy. dudez datin’ yo’ goddamn daughter, isn’t dude?

 **Hein**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Jaffe**  
How tha fuckz amy doing?

 **Hein**  
Biatchz puttin’ the fuck up missin’ posters downtown.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ fellas had anotha one like dis just last month, didn’t yo’?

Jaffe looks the fuck up When the fuck dean starts talkin’ n’ straightens the fuck up ta rap ta his ass.

 **Jaffe**  
N’ Who the fuck r’ yo’?

Dean flashes his muthafuckin’ badge.

 **Dean**  
Federal marshals.

 **Jaffe**  
Yo’ two r’ a lil’ young fo’ marshals, aren’t yo’?

Dean laughs.

 **Dean**  
Thanks, datz awfully kind o’ yo’.

Dean goes ova ta da ca.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ did have anotha one just like dis, correct?

 **Jaffe**  
Yeah biatch, datz right. 'bout a mile the fuck up da road. there’ve been others before dat.

 **Sam**  
So, dis victim, yo’ knew his ass?

Jaffe nods.

 **Jaffe**  
Town like dis, everybody knows everybody.

Dean circles tha car, lookin’ 'round.

 **Dean**  
Any connection between tha victims, besides dat they’re all thugs?

 **Jaffe**  
No. not so fa as we can tell.

 **Sam**  
So What the fuckz tha theory?

Sam goes ova ta dean.

 **Jaffe**  
Honestly, we don’t know. serial murder? kidnappin’ ring?

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, dat be exactly tha kind o’ crack police work i’d expect out o’ yo’ guys.

Sam stomps on deanz foot.

 **Sam**  
Thank yo’ fo’ yo’ goddamn time.

Sam starts ta walk away. dean follows.

 **Sam**  
Gentlethugs.

Jaffe watches 'em git. dean smacks sam on da head.

 **Sam**  
Ow! What the fuck was dat fo’?

 **Dean**  
Why the fuck’d yo’ have ta step on my fuckin’ foot?

 **Sam**  
Why the fuck do yo’ have ta rap ta da police like dat?

Dean looks at sam n’ moves in front o’ his ass, forcin’ sam ta stop walkin’.

 **Dean**  
Come on. they don’t really know What the fuckz goin’ on. we’re all alone on dis. i mean, if we’re goin’ ta find dad we’ve got ta git ta da bottom o’ dis thang ourselves.

Sam clears his muthafuckin’ throat n’ looks ova deanz shoulda. dean turns. dat shitz sheriff pierce n’ two fbi agents.

 **Sheriff**  
Can i help yo’ boys?

 **Dean**  
No, sir, we were just leavin’.

As tha fbi agents walk past dean, dude nods at each o’ 'em.

 **Dean**  
Agent mulda. agent scully.

Dean n’ sam head past da sheriff, Who the fuck turns ta watch 'em git.

_Jericho_   
_(ext. street – day)_

Da marquee on da highland movie theata reads: Emergency town hall meetin’. Sunday 8 pm. Be safe out there.

A young whore be tackin’ the fuck up posters wit’ troyz face n’ da caption “missin’ troy squire”. dean n’ sam approach.

 **Dean**  
I’ll bet yo’ datz her asshole.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

Dean n’ sam walk the fuck up ta da young whore.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ must be amy.

 **Amy**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, troy told us 'bout yo’. we’re his muthafuckin’ uncles. i’m dean, dis be sammy.

 **Amy**  
Dude neva mentioned yo’ ta me.

Amy walks away. dean n’ sam walk wit’ her asshole.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, datz troy, i guess. we’re not 'round much, we’re the fuck up in modesto.

 **Sam**  
So, we’re lookin’ fo’ his ass too, n’ we’re kinda askin’ 'round.

Anotha young whore, rachel, comes the fuck up ta amy n’ puts a hand on her asshole arm.

 **Rachel**  
Hey, r’ yo’ okay?

 **Amy**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ mind if we ask yo’ a couple questions?

Anotha posta dat says missin’ troy squire flaps in da breeze.

 _(Int._ dina _– day)_

Da four o’ 'em r’ sittin’ in a booth, dean n’ sam opposite amy n’ rachel.

 **Amy**  
I was on da phone wit’ troy. dude was drivin’ home. dude said dude would call me right back, n’… dude neva did.

 **Sam**  
Dude didn’t say anythin’ strange, or out o’ da ordinary?

Amy shakes her asshole head.

 **Amy**  
No. nothang i can rememba.

 **Sam**  
I like yo’ goddamn necklace.

Amy holds da pendant biatchz wearing, a pentagram in a circle, n’ looks down at dat shit.

 **Amy**  
Troy gave dat shit ta me. mostly ta scare my fuckin’ parents—

Amy laughs.

 **Amy**  
—with all dat devil shit.

Sam laughs a lil’ n’ looks down, then the fuck up. dean looks ova.

 **Sam**  
Actually, dat shit means just da opposite. a pentagram be protection against evil. really powerful. i mean, if yo’ believe in dat kind o’ thang.

 **Dean**  
Okay. thank yo’, unsolved mysteries.

Dean takes his muthafuckin’ arm off da back o’ samz seat n’ leans forward.

 **Dean**  
Herez tha deal, ladies. da way troy disappeared, somethangz not right. so if yo’’ve heard anythin’…

Amy n’ rachel look at each otha.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck be dat shit?

 **Rachel**  
Well shiiit,, dat shitz just… i mean, wit’ all dem guys goin’ missing, people rap.

Dean n’ sam speak in chorus.

 **Dean n’ sam**  
What the fuck do they rap 'bout?

 **Rachel**  
Dat shitz kind o’ dis local legend. dis one biatch? biatch got murdered out on centennial, like decades ago.

Dean looks at sam, Who the fuck watches rachel attentively, noddin’.

 **Rachel**  
Well shiiit,, supposedly biatchz still out there.

Sam nods.

 **Rachel**  
Biatch hitchhikes, n’ whoeva picks her asshole the fuck up? well shiiit,, they disappea foreva.

Sam n’ dean look at each otha.

_Library_   
_(int. library – day)_

A web browsa be open ta da archive search page fo’ da jericho herald. da words “female murda hitchhiking” r’ typed da fuck into da search box. dean clicks git; da screen tells his ass there r’ “(0) result”. dean replaces “hitchhiking” wit’ “centennial highway” wit’ tha same response. sam be sittin’ next ta his ass, watchin’.

 **Sam**  
Let me try.

Dean smacks samz hand.

 **Dean**  
I got dat shit.

Sam shoves deanz chair out o’ tha way n’ takes ova.

 **Dean**  
Dude!

Dean hits sam in da shoulda.

 **Dean**  
Yo’’re such a control freak.

 **Sam**  
So angry spirits r’ born out o’ violent dirtnap, right?

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, maybe dat shitz not murda.

Sam replaces “murder” wit’ “suicide” n’ finds an article entitled “suicide on centennial”. dean glances at sam. sam opens da article, dated april 25, 1981.

A local whorez drownin’ dirtnap was ruled a suicide, da county sheriffz department said earlia today. constance welch, 24, o’ 4636 breckenridge road, leapt off sylvanizzle bridge, at mile 33 o’ centennial highway, n’ subsequently drowned last night.

Deputy j. pierce told reporters dat, hours before her asshole dirtnap, ms. welch logged a call wit’ 911 emergency services. in a panicked tone, ms. welch described how tha fuck biatch found her asshole two young children, 5 n’ 6, in tha bathtub, afta leavin’ 'em alone fo’ several [minutes]. biatch reported dat their muthafuckin’ complex-[… ]

What the fuck happened ta my fuckin’ children was a terrible accident. n’ dat shit must have been too much fo’ my fuckin’ wife. our babies were gone, n’ constance just couldn’t bea dat shit,“ said husband joseph welch. "now i ask dat yo’ all pwease respect my fuckin’ privacy durin’ dis tryin’ time. ”

At tha time o’ tha childrenz dirtnap n’ ms. welchz subsequent suicide, mr. welch was at tha frontia auto salvage yard, Where the fuck dude works tha graveyard shift as associate managa.

“connie might have been quiet, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but biatch was tha sweetest, most carin’ biatch i eva knew,” said deanna kripke, a neighbor. “she just doted on dem children. ”

 **Sam**  
Dis was 1981. constance welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off sylvanizzle bridge, drowns in tha riva.

Therez a picture o’ constance; dat shitz da whore Who the fuck killed troy.

 **Dean**  
Does dat shit say Why the fuck biatch did dat shit?

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck?

 **Sam**  
An hour before they found her asshole, biatch calls 911. apparently her asshole two lil’ kids r’ in da bathtub. biatch leaves 'em alone fo’ a minute, n’ When the fuck biatch comes back, they aren’t breathin’. both die.

Dean raises his muthafuckin’ eyebrows.

 **Dean**  
Hm.

Da article has a picture o’ joseph next ta a picture o’ sylvanizzle bridge; dat shitz da place troy died.

 **Sam**  
“'our babies were gone, n’ constance just couldn’t bea dat shit,’ said husband joseph welch. ”

 **Dean**  
Tha bridge look familia ta yo’?

 _Sylvanizzle bridge  
_ _(ext._ sylvanizzle _bridge – night)_

Dean n’ sam walk along tha bridge, then stop ta lean on tha railin’ n’ look down at tha riva.

 **Dean**  
So dis be Where the fuck constance took tha swan dive.

 **Sam**  
So yo’ think dad would have been here?

Sam looks ova at dean.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, dudez chasin’ tha same story n’ we’re chasin’ his ass.

Dean continues walkin’. sam follows.

 **Sam**  
Okay, so naw What the fuck?

 **Dean**  
Naw we keep diggin’ until we find his ass. might take a while.

Sam stops.

 **Sam**  
Dean, i told yo’, i’ve gotta git back by monday—

Dean turns 'round.

 **Dean**  
Monday. right. tha interview.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, i forgot. yo’’re really straight 'bout dis, aren’t yo’? yo’ think yo’’re just goin’ ta become some lawyer? marry yo’ goddamn biatch?

 **Sam**  
Maybe. Why the fuck not?

 **Dean**  
Does jessica know da truth 'bout yo’? i mean, does biatch know 'bout da things yo’’ve done?

Sam steps closa.

 **Sam**  
No, n’ biatchz not eva goin’ ta know.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, datz healthy. yo’ can pretend all yo’ want, sammy. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but soona or lata yo’’re goin’ ta have ta face the fuck up ta Who the fuck yo’ really r’.

Dean turns 'round n’ keeps walkin’. sam follows.

 **Sam**  
N’ Who the fuckz dat?

 **Dean**  
Yo’’re one o’ us.

Sam hurries ta git in front o’ dean.

 **Sam**  
No. i’m not like yo’. dis be not goin’ ta be my fuckin’ life.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ have a responsibility to—

 **Sam**  
Ta dad? n’ his muthafuckin’ crusade? if dat shit weren’t fo’ pictures i wouldn’t even know What the fuck mom looks like. n’ What the fuck difference would dat shit make? even if we do find da thang dat killed her asshole, momz gone. n’ biatch isn’t comin’ back.

Dean grabs sam by tha colla n’ shoves his ass the fuck up against tha railin’ o’ tha bridge. a long pause.

 **Dean**  
Don’t rap 'bout her ass like dat.

Dean releases sam n’ walks away. dude sees constance standin’ at tha edge o’ tha bridge.

 **Dean**  
Sam.

Sam comes ta stand next ta dean. constance looks ova at 'em, then steps forward off tha edge. sam n’ dean run ta da railin’ n’ look ova.

 **Dean**  
Where the fuck’d biatch git?

 **Sam**  
I don’t know.

Behind 'em, tha impalaz engine starts n’ itz headlights come on. dean n’ sam turn ta look.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck the—

 **Sam**  
Who the fuckz drivin’ yo’ goddamn car?

Dean pulls tha keys out o’ his muthafuckin’ pocket n’ jingles 'em. sam glances at 'em. da ca jerks da fuck into motion, headin’ straight fo’ 'em. they turn n’ run.

 **Sam**  
Dean? git! git!

Tha ca be movin’ fasta than they r’; When the fuck dat shit gets too close, sam n’ dean dive ova tha railin’. da ca comes ta a halt.


	4. 1.01 Pilot (ACT THREE)

_Sylvanizzle bridge_   
_(ext. sylvanizzle bridge – night)_   
_Establishin’ shot o’ da bridge._

Sam has caught his dirty ass on tha edge o’ tha bridge n’ be hangin’ on. dude pulls his dirty ass the fuck up onto da bridge n’ looks ‘round.

 **Sam**  
Dean? dean!

Below, a filthy n’ annoyed dean crawls out o’ da wata n’ onto da mud, pantin’.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck?

 **Sam**  
Hey! r’ yo’ all right?

Dean holds the fuck up one hand in an a-ok sign.

 **Dean**  
I’m snoop.

Sam laughs, relieved, n’ scoots away from tha edge.

 _(ext. sylvanizzle bridge – night,_ lata _)_

Dean shuts da hood o’ his muthafuckin’ ca n’ leans on dat shit.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ goddamn ca all right?

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, whateva biatch did ta dat shit, seems all right naw. dat constance chick, What the fuck a biatch!

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, biatch doesn’t want us diggin’ 'round, datz fo’ shizzle. so Where the fuckz tha job git from here, genius?

Sam settles on tha hood next ta dean. dean throws the fuck up his muthafuckin’ arms in frustration, then flicks mud off his muthafuckin’ hands. sam sniffs, then looks at dean.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ smell like a toilet.

Dean looks down.

_Motel_   
_(int. motel lobby – day)_   
_(Dat shit be 2 nov 2005.)_

A versabank mastercard in da name o’ hector aframian lands on a handwritten guest ledga.

 **Dean**  
One room, pwease.

Dean be standin’ at tha motel check-in desk, still filthy, wit’ sam right behind his ass. da clerk picks the fuck up da card n’ looks at dat shit.

 **Clerk**  
Yo’ guys havin’ a reunion or somethang?

 **Sam**  
What the fuck do yo’ mean?

 **Clerk**  
I had anotha thug, burt aframian. dude came n’ bought out a room fo’ tha whole month.

Dean looks back at sam.

_Jizzyz room_   
_(int. motel room – day)_

Tha motel door swings open. sam be on tha otha side, havin’ just picked tha lock. sam hides da picks n’ stands the fuck up. dean be just outside, playin’ lookout, until sam reaches out o’ tha room ta grab his muthafuckin’ shoulda n’ yank his ass inside. sam closes da door behind 'em. they look around—every vertical surface has papers pinned ta dat shit: maps, newspapa clippings, pictures, notes. there r’ books on da desk n’ assorted junk on da floor n’ bed, includin’ somethang wit’ a hazardous-materials symbol.

 **Sam**  
Whoa.

Dean turns on a light by tha bed n’ picks the fuck up a half-eaten hamburga sittin’ there. sam steps ova a line o’ salt on da floor. dean sniffs da burga n’ recoils.

 **Dean**  
I don’t think dudez been here fo’ a couple days at least.

Sam fingers tha salt on tha floor n’ looks the fuck up.

 **Sam**  
Salt, cats-eye shells… dude was worried. tryin’ ta keep somethang from comin’ in.

Dean looks at tha papers coverin’ one wall.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck have yo’ got here?

 **Dean**  
Centennial highway victims.

Sam nods. da victims peep on da wall include mark somebody, william durrell, scott nifong Who the fuck disappeared in 1987 at age 25, n’ somebody parks. mark, durrell, n’ nifong r’ all white males, judgin’ by tha photos.

 **Dean**  
I don’t git dat shit. i mean, different thugs, different jobs—

Sam crosses tha room.

 **Dean**  
—ages, ethnicities. therez always a connection, right? What the fuck do dem guys have in common?

While dean talks, sam looks at da papers taped ta da otha walls. therez somethang 'bout tha bell witch, two people bein’ burned alive, a skeletal person blowin’ a horn at several scared people wit’ tha note “mortis danse”, a column 'bout “devils + demons”, anotha 'bout “sirens, witches, tha possessed”, a wooden pentacle, n’ a note dat says “wothug in white” above a printout o’ tha jericho herald article on constancez suicide.

Sam turns on anotha lamp.

 **Sam**  
Dad figured dat shit out.

Dean turns ta look.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck do yo’ mean?

 **Sam**  
Dude found tha same article we did. constance welch. biatchz a whore in white.

Dean looks at tha photos o’ constancez victims.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ sly dogs.

Dean turns back ta sam.

 **Dean**  
All right, so if we’re dealin’ wit’ a whore in white, dad would have found tha corpse n’ destroyed dat shit.

 **Sam**  
Biatch might have anotha weaknizz.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, dad would want ta make shizzle.

Dean crosses ta sam.

 **Dean**  
Dude’d dig her ass the fuck up. does dat shit say Where the fuck biatchz buried?

 **Sam**  
No, not dat i can tell. if i were dad, though, i’d git ask her asshole husband.

Sam taps tha picture o’ joseph welch. da caption says dudez thirty; da article dates ta 1981, so dude must be sixty-four.

 **Sam**  
If dudez still alive.

Sam goes ta look at somethang else. dean looks at tha picture below tha herald article, o’ a whore in a white dress.

 **Dean**  
All right. Why the fuck don’t yo’, uh, peep if yo’ can find an address, i’m gonna git cleaned the fuck up.

Dean starts ta walk away. sam turns.

 **Sam**  
Hey, dean?

Dean stops n’ turns back.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck i said earlier, 'bout mom n’ dad, i’m sorry.

Dean holds the fuck up a hand.

 **Dean**  
No chick-flick moments.

Sam laughs n’ nods.

 **Sam**  
All right. jerk.

 **Dean**  
Biatch.

Sam laughs again. dean disappears, presumably da fuck into tha bathroom. sam notices somethang, his muthafuckin’ smile disappearing, n’ crosses ova fo’ a closa look. a rosary hangs in front o’ a large mirror, n’ stuck da fuck into tha mirror frame be a photo o’ jizzy sittin’ on tha hood o’ tha impala, next ta a pimp in a baseball cap Who the fuck be presumably dean n’ wit’ a younga pimp, presumably sam, on jizzyz lap. sam takes tha photo off tha mirror n’ holds dat shit, smilin’ sadly.

 _Motel_  
 _(int. motel room – day,_ lata _)_

Sam paces, holdin’ his muthafuckin’ phone, n’ sits down on da bed. a voicemail message be playin’.

 **Jess**  
Hey, dat shitz me, dat shitz 'bout ten-twenty saturday night—

Dean, clean again, comes out o’ da bathroom n’ grabs his muthafuckin’ jacket. dude shrugs dat shit on one shoulda as dude crosses tha room.

 **Dean**  
Hey, thug. i’m starving, i’m gonna grab a lil’ somethang ta smoke in dat dina down da street. yo’ want anything?

 **Sam**  
No.

 **Dean**  
Aframianz buyin’.

Sam shakes his muthafuckin’ head.

 **Sam**  
Mm-mm.

 _(ext._ parkin’ _lot – day)_

Dean leaves da motel room. dude gets da jacket da rest o’ da way on as dude crosses da lot. dude looks ova n’ sees a police car, Where the fuck tha motel clerk be talkin’ ta deputy jaffe n’ deputy hein. da clerk points at dean, Who the fuck turns away n’ pulls out his muthafuckin’ cell phone.

 _(int. motel room – day n’ ext._ parkin’ _lot – day, alternatin’)_

Sam be sittin’ on da bed, still listenin’ ta da message.

 **Jess**  
So come home soon, okay? i ludd yo’.

Tha phone beeps. sam looks at dat shit n’ presses a button, then puts dat shit back ta his muthafuckin’ ea.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck?

Outside, tha deputies r’ approachin’ dean.

 **Dean**  
Dude, five-oh, take off.

Sam stands the fuck up.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck 'bout yo’?

 **Dean**  
Uh, they kinda spotted me. git find dad.

Dean hangs the fuck up tha phone as tha deputies approach. dude turns n’ grins at 'em.

 **Dean**  
Problem, officers?

 **Jaffe**  
Where the fuckz yo’ goddamn partner?

 **Dean**  
Partner? What the fuck, What the fuck partner?

Jaffe glances ova his muthafuckin’ shoulda n’ jerks his muthafuckin’ thumb towards tha motel room. hein heads ova there. dean fidgets.

Sam sees hein approachin’ n’ darts away from tha window.

 **Jaffe**  
So. fake us marshal. fake credit cards. yo’ got anythin’ datz real?

 **Dean**  
My fuckin’ boobs.

Dean grins.

Hein slams dean ova da hood o’ da cop ca.

 **Jaffe**  
Yo’ have da right ta remain silen—


	5. 1.01 Pilot (ACT FOUR)

_Sheriffz office_  
_(int. sheriffz office – day)_

Sheriff pierce enters tha room, carryin’ a box. dude sets tha box on tha table at which dean sits n’ goes ‘round tha table ta face dean across dat shit.

 **Sheriff**  
So yo’ want ta give us yo’ goddamn real name?

 **Dean**  
I told yo’, dat shitz nugent. ted nugent.

 **Sheriff**  
I’m not shizzle yo’ realize just how tha fuck much trouble yo’’re in here.

 **Dean**  
We talkin’, like, misdemeanor kind o’ trouble or, uh, squeal like a fatass trouble?

 **Sheriff**  
Yo’ got da faces o’ ten missin’ persons taped ta yo’ goddamn wall.

Dean looks away.

 **Sheriff**  
Along wit’ a whole lot o’ satanic mumbo-jumbo. pimp, yo’ r’ officially a suspect.

 **Dean**  
Dat makes sense. bcuz’ When the fuck tha first one went missin’ in '82 i was three.

 **Sheriff**  
I know yo’’ve got partners. one o’ 'emz an olda thug. maybe dude started tha whole thang. so tell me. dean.

Tha sheriff tosses a brown leather-covered journal on tha table.

 **Sheriff**  
Dis his muthafuckin’?

Dean stares at dat shit. tha sheriff sits on tha edge o’ tha table. dude flips through da journal: dat shitz filled wit’ newspapa clippings, notes, n’ pictures, just like What the fuckz on da walls o’ jizzyz motel room.

 **Sheriff**  
I thought dat might be yo’ goddamn name. peep, i leafed through dis. What the fuck lil’ i could make out—i mean, dat shitz nine kinds o’ wild.

Dean leans forward fo’ a closa look.

 **Sheriff**  
N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but i found dis, too.

Dude opens da journal ta a page dat reads “dean 35-111”, circled, wit’ nothang else on dat page.

 **Sheriff**  
Naw. yo’’re stayin’ right here till yo’ tell me exactly What the fuck da hell dat means.

Dean stares down at da page, then looks the fuck up.

_(int. den – day)_

Sam, peep through da chain-link coverin’ a grimy glass window, knocks on da door da window be in. an old thug opens dat shit: dat shitz recognizably joseph welch.

 **Sam**  
Wassup. r’ yo’ joseph welch?

 **Joseph**  
Yeah biatch.

_(ext. driveway – day)_

Sam n’ joseph r’ walkin’ down da junk-filled driveway, joseph holdin’ da photo sam found on jizzyz motel room mirror.

 **Joseph**  
Yeah biatch, dude was older, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but datz his ass.

Joseph hands tha photo back ta sam.

 **Joseph**  
Dude came by three or four days ago. said dude was a reporta.

 **Sam**  
Datz right. we’re workin’ on a story togetha.

 **Joseph**  
Well shiiit,, i don’t know What the fuck tha hell kinda story yo’’re workin’ on. da questions dude asked me?

 **Sam**  
'bout yo’ goddamn wife constance?

 **Joseph**  
Dude asked me Where the fuck biatch was buried.

 **Sam**  
N’ Where the fuck be dat again?

 **Joseph**  
What the fuck, i gotta git through dis twice?

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz fact-checkin’. if yo’ don’t mind.

 **Joseph**  
In a plot. behind my fuckin’ old place ova on breckenridge.

 **Sam**  
N’ Why the fuck did yo’ move?

 **Joseph**  
I’m not gonna live in da den Where the fuck my fuckin’ children died.

Sam stops walkin’. joseph stops too.

 **Sam**  
Mr. welch, did yo’ eva marry again?

 **Joseph**  
No way. constance, biatch was tha ludd o’ my fuckin’ life. prettiest whore i eva known.

 **Sam**  
So yo’ had a happy marriage?

Joseph hesitates.

 **Joseph**  
Definitely.

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, dat should do dat shit. thanks fo’ yo’ goddamn time.

Sam turns toward da impala. joseph walks away. sam waits a moment, then looks back the fuck up at joseph.

 **Sam**  
Mr. welch, did yo’ eva hea o’ a whore in white?

Joseph turns 'round.

 **Joseph**  
A What the fuck?

 **Sam**  
A whore in white. or sometimes weepin’ whore?

Joseph just looks.

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz a ghost story. well shiiit,, dat shitz mo’ o’ a phenomenon, really.

Sam starts back toward joseph.

 **Sam**  
Um, they’re spirits. they’ve been sighted fo’ hundreds o’ years, dozens o’ places, in hawaii, mexico, lately in arizona, indiana. all dem r’ different biatches.

Sam stops in front o’ joseph.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ understand. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but all share tha same story.

 **Joseph**  
Pimp, i don’t care much fo’ fucked up.

Joseph walks away. sam follows.

 **Sam**  
Peep, When the fuck they were alive, their muthafuckin’ husbands were unfaithful ta 'em.

Joseph stops.

 **Sam**  
N’ dem biatches, basically sufferin’ from temporary insanity, murdered their muthafuckin’ children.

Joseph turns 'round.

 **Sam**  
Then once they realized What the fuck they had done, they took their muthafuckin’ own lives. so naw their muthafuckin’ spirits r’ cursed, walkin’ back roads, waterways. n’ if they find an unfaithful thug, they fuck his ass. n’ dat thug be neva peep again.

 **Joseph**  
Yo’ think… yo’ think dat has somethang ta do wit’… constance? yo’ smartass!

 **Sam**  
Yo’ tell me.

 **Joseph**  
I mean, maybe… maybe i made some mistakes. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but no matta What the fuck i did, constance, biatch neva would have killed her asshole own children. naw, yo’ git da hell out o’ here! n’ yo’ don’t come back!

Josephz face shakes, whetha from anga or grief dat shitz impossible ta tell. afta a long moment, dude turns away. sam sighs.

Sheriffz _office_  
_(int._ sheriffz _office – night)_

 **Dean**  
I don’t know how tha fuck shitload o’ times i gotta tell yo’. dat shitz my fuckin’ high oldschool locka combo.

Sheriff pierce be still interrogatin’ dean ova da “dean 35-111” page.

 **Sheriff**  
We gonna do dis all night long?

A deputy leans da fuck into tha room.

 **Deputy**  
We just got a 911, shots fired ova at whiteford road.

 **Sheriff**  
Yo’ have ta git ta tha bathroom?

 **Dean**  
No.

 **Sheriff**  
Wack.

Tha sheriff handcuffs dean ta tha table n’ leaves. dean sees a papa clip pokin’ out o’ da journal, pulls dat shit out, n’ looks at dat shit. moments later, as tha sheriff n’ deputy r’ gearin’ the fuck up ta leave, dude be out o’ tha cuffs. dean watches through tha window in tha door, ducks out o’ sight as tha deputy approaches tha door, n’ waits.

 _(ext._ sheriffz _office – night)_

Dean climbs down tha fire escape, carryin’ jizzyz journal.

 _Highway_  
_(ext. highway – night n’ ext. street – night, alternatin’)_

Sam be drivin’ tha impala When the fuck his muthafuckin’ phone rings. dude pulls dat shit out n’ answers dat shit. dean be in a phone booth; apparently his muthafuckin’ phone was confiscated n’ dude didn’t take da time ta steal dat shit back.

 **Dean**  
Fake 911 phone call? sammy, i don’t know, datz pretty illegal.

 **Sam**  
Yo’’re welcome.

Sam grins.

 **Dean**  
Listen, we gotta rap.

 **Sam**  
Tell me 'bout dat shit. so tha husband was unfaithful. we r’ dealin’ wit’ a whore in white. n’ biatchz buried behind her asshole old den, so dat should have been dadz next stop.

 **Dean**  
Sammy, would yo’ shut the fuck up fo’ a second?

 **Sam**  
I just can’t figure out Why the fuck dad hasn’t destroyed da corpse yet.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, datz What the fuck i’m tryin’ ta tell yo’. dudez gone. dad left jericho.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck? how tha fuck do yo’ know?

 **Dean**  
I’ve got his muthafuckin’ journal.

 **Sam**  
Dude doesn’t git anywhere without dat thang.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, dude did dis time.

 **Sam**  
What the fuckz dat shit say?

 **Dean**  
Ah, tha same old ex-marine crap, When the fuck dude wants ta let us know Where the fuck dudez goin’.

 **Sam**  
Coordinates. Where the fuck ta?

 **Dean**  
I’m not shizzle yet.

 **Sam**  
I don’t understand. i mean, What the fuck could be so important dat dad would just skip out in tha middle o’ a job? dean, What the fuck tha hell be goin’ on?

Sam looks the fuck up n’ slams tha brake, droppin’ tha phone: constance appeared on tha road in front o’ his ass. tha ca goes right through her asshole as sam brings dat shit ta a halt.

 **Dean**  
Sam? sam!

Inside tha car, sam breathes hard. constance be sittin’ in tha back seat.

 **Constance**  
Take me home.


	6. 1.01 Pilot (ACT FIVE)

_Highway_   
_(ext. highway – night)_

**Constance**  
Take me home!

 **Sam**  
No.

Constance glares n’ da doors lock themselves. sam struggles ta reopen ‘em. tha gas pedal presses down n’ tha ca begins ta drive itself. sam tries ta steer, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but constance be doin’ dat too. sam continues ta try ta git tha door open. in da back seat, constance flickers.

_Breckenridge road_   
_(ext. abandoned den – night)_

Tha ca pulls the fuck up in front o’ constancez den n’ stops. da engine shuts off n’ so do da lights.

 **Sam**  
Don’t do dis.

Constance flickers. her asshole voice be fucked up.

 **Constance**  
I can neva git home.

 **Sam**  
Yo’’re scared ta git home.

Sam looks back n’ constance isn’t there. dude glances 'round n’ back n’ sees her asshole in tha shotgun seat. biatch climbs da fuck into his muthafuckin’ lap, shovin’ his ass back against tha seat hard enough ta recline tha seat. sam struggles.

 **Constance**  
Hold me. i’m so cold.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ can’t fuck me. i’m not unfaithful. i’ve neva been!

 **Constance**  
Yo’ gotta be. just hold me.

Constance kisses sam as dude continues ta struggle, reachin’ fo’ tha keys. biatch pulls back n’ disappears, a flash o’ somethang horrible behind her asshole face as biatch vanishes. sam looks 'round fo’ a moment, then yells in pain n’ yanks his muthafuckin’ hoodie open. there r’ five new holes burned through da fabric, matchin’ ta constancez fingers: biatch flickers in front o’ his ass, her asshole hand reachin’ da fuck into his muthafuckin’ chest. a gunshot goes off, shatterin’ da window n’ startlin’ constance. dean approaches, still firin’ at her asshole. biatch glares at his ass n’ vanishes, then reappears, n’ dean keeps firin’ until biatch disappears again. sam manages ta sit the fuck up n’ start da ca.

 **Sam**  
I’m takin’ yo’ home.

Sam drives forward. dean stares afta da ca. sam smashes through tha side o’ tha den. dean hurries through tha wreckage ta tha passenga side o’ tha ca.

 **Dean**  
Sam! sam! yo’ okay?

 **Sam**  
I think…

 **Dean**  
Can yo’ move?

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch. help me?

Dean leans through da window ta give sam a hand.

Constance picks the fuck up a large framed photograph peep When the fuck biatch brought troy here: tha whore be constance n’ tha children r’ presumably hers.

Dean helps sam out o’ tha ca.

 **Dean**  
There yo’ git.

Dean closes tha ca door. they look 'round n’ peep constance; biatch looks the fuck up. biatch glares at 'em n’ throws tha picture down. a bureau scoots towards sam n’ dean, pinnin’ 'em against tha ca. da lights flicker; constance looks 'round, scared. wata begins ta pour down tha staircase. biatch goes ova. at da top r’ da pimp n’ biatch from da photograph. they hold hands n’ speak in chorus.

 **Children**  
Yo’’ve come home ta us, mommy.

Constance looks at 'em, distraught. suddenly they r’ behind her asshole; they embrace her asshole tightly n’ biatch screams, her asshole image flickerin’. in a surge o’ energy, still screaming, constance n’ da two children melt da fuck into a puddle in da floor. sam n’ dean shove da bureau ova n’ git look at da spot Where the fuck constance n’ her asshole children vanished.

 **Dean**  
So dis be Where the fuck biatch drowned her asshole kids.

Sam nods.

 **Sam**  
Datz Why the fuck biatch could neva git home. biatch was too scared ta face 'em.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ found her asshole weak spot. nice work, sammy.

Dude slaps sam on tha chest Where the fuck dudez been injured n’ walks away. sam laughs through da pain.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch, i wish i could say da same fo’ yo’. What the fuck were yo’ thinkin’ shootin’ caspa in da face, yo’ freak?

 **Dean**  
Hey. saved yo’ goddamn ass.

“highway ta hell” by ac/dc begins ta play.

Dean leans ova ta look at tha ca.

 **Dean**  
I’ll tell yo’ anotha thang. if yo’ screwed the fuck up my fuckin’ car?

Dean twists 'round ta look at sam.

 **Dean**  
I’ll fuck yo’.

Sam laughs.

_Highway_   
_(ext. highway – night)_

Da impala tears down da road; da right headlight be out.

 **Music**  
Livin’ easy, lovin’ free  
Season ticket on a one-way ride

Sam has da journal open ta “dean 35-111” n’ a map open on his muthafuckin’ lap n’ be findin’ coordinates wit’ a ruler, a flashlight tucked between chin n’ shoulda.

 **Music**  
Askin’ nothang

 **Sam**  
Okay, herez Where the fuck dad went.

 **Music**  
Leave me be

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz called blackwata ridge, colorado.

 **Music**  
Takin’ everythin’ in my fuckin’ stride

Dean nods.

 **Dean**  
Sounds charmin’. how tha fuck far?

 **Music**  
Don’t need reason

 **Sam**  
'bout six hundred miles.

 **Music**  
Don’t need rhyme

 **Dean**  
Hey, if we shag ass we could make dat shit by mornin’.

 **Music**  
Ain’t nothang i would ratha do

Sam looks at his ass, hesitatin’.

 **Sam**  
Dean, i, um…

 **Music**  
Goin’ down

Dean glances at da road n’ back.

 **Music**  
Party time

 **Dean**  
Yo’’re not goin’.

 **Music**  
My fuckin’ friends r’ gonna be there too

 **Sam**  
Da interviewz in like, ten hours. i gotta be there.

Dean nods, disappointed, n’ returns his muthafuckin’ attention ta tha road.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch. yeah biatch, whateva.

Dean glances at sam.

 **Dean**  
I’ll take yo’ home.

Sam turns da flashlight off. they drive on.

 **Music**  
Highway ta hell

 _Apartment_  
 _(ext._ samz _apartment buildin’ – night)_

 **Music**  
I’m on tha highway ta hell

They pull the fuck up in front o’ tha apartment, dean still frownin’. sam gets out n’ leans ova ta look through da window.

 **Sam**  
Call me if yo’ find his ass?

Dean nods.

 **Sam**  
N’ maybe i can meet the fuck up wit’ yo’ later, huh?

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, all right.

Sam pats da ca door twice n’ turns away. dean leans toward tha passenga door, one arm goin’ ova tha back o’ tha seat.

 **Dean**  
Sam?

Sam turns back.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ know, we made a hell o’ a team back there.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

Dean drives off. sam watches his ass git n’ sighs.

 _(int._ samz _apartment – night)_

Sam lets his dirty ass in. everythin’ be dark n’ quiet.

 **Sam**  
Jess?

Sam closes da door.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ home?

Sam notices a plate o’ chocolate chip cookies on da table, wit’ a note dat reads “missed yo’! ludd yo’!”, next ta a national geographic. sam picks one the fuck up n’ eats dat shit as dude sneaks da fuck into tha bedroom, smilin’. da showa be audibly runnin’. sam sits on tha bed, shuts his muthafuckin’ eyes, n’ flops onto his muthafuckin’ back.

Blood drips onto samz forehead, one drop, then another; dude flinches n’ opens his muthafuckin’ eyes. dude gasps in horror: jess be pinned ta tha ceiling, starin’ down at his ass n’ bleedin’ from tha belly.

 **Sam**  
No!

Jess bursts da fuck into flame; tha fire spreads across tha ceilin’.

Dean kicks tha front door open.

 **Dean**  
Sam!

Sam raises one arm ta shield his muthafuckin’ face.

 **Sam**  
Jess!

Dean comes runnin’ da fuck into da bedroom.

 **Dean**  
Sam! sam!

Dean looks the fuck up n’ sees jess.

 **Sam**  
No! no!

Dean grabs sam off da bed n’ bodily shoves his ass out da door, sam strugglin’ all da way.

 **Sam**  
Jess! jess! no!

Flames engulf da apartment.

Afta da fire

 _(ext._ samz _apartment – night)_

In a scene much like tha end o’ tha flashback, a fire truck be parked outside tha building, firethugs n’ police keepin’ back gawkers. dean looks on, then turns n’ walks back ta his muthafuckin’ ca. sam be standin’ behind tha open trunk, loadin’ a shotgun. dean looks at da trunk, then at sam, whose face be set in a mask o’ desperate anga. sam looks the fuck up, then sighs, nods, n’ tosses da shotgun da fuck into da trunk.

 **Sam**  
We got work ta do.

Sam shuts tha trunk.


	7. 1.02 Wendigo (ACT ONE)

_CEMETERY_  
Palo Alto, California  
EXT. CEMETERY - DAY

Birdz chirp. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM, bustin a suit n’ tie n’ carryin a funky-ass bouquet of various flowers excludin roses, strutts all up in a otherwise deserted cemetery.

SAM sighs n’ stops next ta a gravestone. Well shiiiit, it readz “JESSICA LEE MOORE”, “Beloved Daughter”, “January 24th 1984 - November 2nd 2005”. There be a lil’ small-ass picture of a grinnin JESS set tha fuck into tha stone above her name, a funky-ass black-and-white picture of her leanin against tha stone between a white teddy bear n’ a wooden box wit a cold-ass lil crucifix leanin on tha picture, a lil’ small-ass Gangsta flag next ta tha box, n’ three candlez standin on tha gravestone; one iz of tha Virgin de Guadalupe.

SAM looks between tha gravestone n’ tha flowers.

 **SAM**  
I, uh…

SAM laughs.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass always holla’d roses were, was lame, so I brought you, uh…

SAM looks all up in tha picture set tha fuck into tha gravestone, then looks away, chokin back tears yo. Dude steps closer ta tha gravestone.

 **SAM  
** Jess…oh Dogg…

SAM kneels ta set down tha flowers.

 **SAM  
** I should have protected you, biatch. I should have holla’d at you tha real deal.

SAM leans tha flowers up in front of tha crucifix fo’ realz. An arm covered up in dirt blasts outta tha ground n’ grabs SAM by tha wrist.

_IMPALA  
INT. IMPALA - DAY_

SAM jerks awake. Well shiiiit, it is 10 Nov 2005, he is ridin shotgun next ta DEAN, Foreignerz “Hot-Blooded” is playing, n’ tha cemetery visit is minutes behind dem if it eva occurred.

 **MUSIC**  
I be hot-blooded, check it n’ see  
I gots a gangbangin’ fever of a hundred n’ three  
Come on, baby, do you do mo’ than dance?

SAM blinks n’ rubs his wild lil’ fuckin eyes. DEAN looks over, concerned.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass aiiight?

 **MUSIC  
** I be hot-blooded

SAM glances over n’ away.

 **MUSIC  
** I be hot-blooded

 **SAM  
** Yeah, I be fine.

DEAN nods.

 **DEAN  
** Another nightmare?

SAM clears his cold-ass throat.

 **MUSIC  
** Yo ass don’t gotta read mah mind

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass wanna drive fo’ a while?

 **MUSIC  
** To know what tha fuck I have up in mind

SAM laughs.

 **MUSIC  
** Honey, you oughta know

 **SAM  
** Dean, yo’ whole game you never once axed mah crazy ass that.

 **DEAN  
** Just thought you might want to. Never mind.

 **MUSIC  
** Now you move so fine

 **SAM  
** Look, dude, you worried bout mah dirty ass.

 **MUSIC  
** Let me lay it on tha line

 **SAM  
** I git it, n’ fuck you yo, but I be perfectly aiiight.

 **MUSIC  
** I wanna know

 **DEAN  
** Mm-hm.

 **MUSIC  
** What you bustin afta tha show

SAM grabs a map.

 **SAM  
** All right, where is we?

 **MUSIC  
** Now itz up ta you

 **DEAN  
** We is just outside of Grand Junction.

 **MUSIC  
** We can cook up a secret rendezvous

SAM foldz down tha map, which iz of Colorado n’ has a big-ass red X labeled 35-111.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know what?

 **MUSIC  
** Just me n’ you

 **SAM  
** Maybe we shouldn’t have left Stanford so soon.

 **MUSIC  
** I be bout ta show you lovin’ like you never knew

 **DEAN  
** Sam, our phat asses dug round there fo’ a week. We came up wit nothing. If you wanna find tha thang dat capped Jessica-

 **SAM  
** We gotta find Dad first.

 **MUSIC**  
Thatz why I be hot-blooded  
Peep it n’ see

 **DEAN  
** Dad disappearing-

 **MUSIC  
** I gots a gangbangin’ fever of a hundred n’ three

 **DEAN  
** -and dis thang showin up again n’ again n’ again afta twenty years, itz no coincidence.

 **MUSIC  
** Come on, baby, do you do mo’ than dance?

 **DEAN  
** Dad gonna git lyrics yo. Dude bout ta know what tha fuck ta do.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but weird, man.

 **MUSIC  
** I be hot-blooded

 **SAM  
** These coordinates he left us.

 **MUSIC  
** Hot-blooded

 **SAM  
** This Blackwata Ridge.

 **DEAN  
** What bout it?

 **SAM  
** Therez not a god damn thang there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin’ thru fo'sho. It aint nuthin but just woods.

SAM puts down tha map.

 **SAM  
** Why is da perved-out muthafucka bustin our asses ta tha middle of nowhere?

They drive past tha Nationizzle Forest sign dat says, “Yo, wuz crackalackin’, biatch? Yo ass is smokin LOST CREEK COLORADO Nationizzle Forest”.

_RANGER STATION  
EXT. RANGER STATION - DAY_

Da Impala is parked next ta a sign dat say “RANGER STATION Lost Creek Trail, Lost Creek Nationizzle Forest”.

 **SAM (voiceover)  
** So Blackwata Ridge is pretty remote.

_INT. RANGER STATION - DAY_

SAM looks at a 3D map of tha nationistic forest, payin particular attention ta tha ridge labeled “BLACKWATER RIDGE”. DEAN looks all up in tha decorations.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but cut off by these canyons here, rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver n’ gold mines all over tha place.

 **DEAN  
** Dude, hit up tha size of dis freakin bear.

SAM looks over n’ shit. DEAN is lookin at a gangbangin’ framed photo of a playa standin behind a much larger bear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM comes ta stand next ta DEAN.

 **SAM  
** And a thugged-out dozen or mo’ grizzlies up in tha area. It aint nuthin but no nature hike, thatz fo’ sure.

A forest ranger, RANGER WILKINSON, strutts up behind them; when da perved-out muthafucka speaks, DEAN n’ SAM whip around, startled.

 **RANGER  
** Yo ass thugs aren’t plannin on goin up near Blackwata Ridge by any chance?

 **SAM  
** Oh, no, sir, we environmenstrual study majors from UC Boulder, just hustlin on a paper.

SAM laughs a lil. DEAN grins n’ raises a gangbangin’ fist.

 **DEAN  
** Recycle, man.

 **RANGER  
** Bull.

SAMz eyes flick ta DEAN, whoz ass don’t move.

 **RANGER  
** Yo ass is playaz wit dat Haley girl, right?

DEAN considers.

 **DEAN  
** Yes yes y'all. Yes, we are, Ranger-

DEAN checks tha RANGERz nametag.

 **DEAN  
** Wilkinson.

 **RANGER  
** Well I'ma rap exactly what tha fuck we holla’d at her n’ shiznit yo. Her brutha filled up a funky-ass backcountry permit sayin da thug wouldn’t be back from Blackwata until tha twenty-fourth, so it aint exactly a missin peeps now, is it?

DEAN shakes his head.

 **RANGER  
** Yo ass tell dat hoe ta quit worrying, I be shizzle her brotherz just fine.

 **DEAN  
** Us thugs will. Well dat Haley girlz like a pistol, huh?

 **RANGER  
** That is puttin it mildly.

 **DEAN  
** Actually you know what tha fuck would help is if I could show her a cold-ass lil copy of dat backcountry permit. Yo ass know, so dat thugged-out biiiatch could peep her brotherz return date.

Da RANGER eyes DEAN. DEAN raises his wild lil’ fuckin eyebrows.

_EXT. RANGER STATION - DAY_

DEAN n’ SAM leave tha ranger station. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. DEAN is holdin a piece of paper n’ laughing.

 **SAM  
** What, is you cruisin fo’ a hookup or something?

 **DEAN  
** What do you mean?

 **SAM  
** Da coordinates point ta Blackwata Ridge, so what tha fuck is we waitin for, biatch? Letz just go find Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, why even rap ta dis girl?

DEAN n’ SAM stop on opposite sidez of tha Impala.

 **DEAN  
** I don’t give a fuck, maybe we should know what tha fuck we struttin tha fuck into before we straight-up strutt tha fuck into it?

A pause.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Since when is you all blast first ask thangs later, anyway?

 **SAM  
** Since now, nahmeean?

SAM turns away; tha sound of tha hoopty door openin is heard.

 **DEAN  
** Really?

DEAN goes round tha car.

_COLLINS HOUSE  
EXT. COLLINS HOUSE - DAY_

DEAN n’ SAM is standin all up in tha door ta a house. Da door opens ta reveal HALEY COLLINS.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass must be Haley Collins. I be Dean, dis is Sam, we’re, ah, we rangers wit tha Park Service. Ranger Wilkinston busted our asses over n’ shiznit yo. Dude wanted our asses ta ask all dem thangs bout yo’ brutha Tommy.

HALEY hesitates.

 **HALEY  
** Lemme peep some ID.

DEAN pulls up a gangbangin’ fake ID wit tha name ‘Samuel Cole’ n’ holdz it up against tha screen. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch yo. HALEY looks at it, then at DEAN, whoz ass smilez yo. HALEY opens tha door.

 **HALEY  
** Come on in.

 **DEAN  
** Thanks.

Da door swings open; HALEY catches sight of tha Impala.

 **HALEY  
** That yours?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

SAM is lookin back all up in tha Impala.

 **HALEY  
** Sick car.

HALEY turns ta lead DEAN n’ SAM tha fuck into tha kitchen, where BEN COLLINS is chillin all up in tha table on a laptop. DEAN turns his head ta grill suttin’ ta SAM, whoz ass rolls his wild lil’ fuckin eyes.

_INT. KITCHEN - DAY_

**SAM  
** So if Tommyz not due back fo’ a while, how tha fuck do you know somethingz wrong?

HALEY comes back tha fuck into tha room wit a funky-ass bowl she places on tha table.

 **HALEY  
** Dude checks up in every last muthafuckin dizzle by cell yo. Dude emails, photos, wack lil vizzles-we aint heard anythang up in over three minutes now, nahmeean?

 **SAM  
** Well, maybe his schmoooove ass can’t git cell reception.

 **HALEY  
** Dat punk gots a satellite phone, like a muthafucka.

 **DEAN  
** Could it be he just havin funk n’ forgot ta check in?

 **BEN  
** Dude wouldn’t do that.

DEAN eyes BEN. BEN looks away yo. HALEY puts mo’ chicken on tha table.

 **HALEY  
** Our muthafathas is gone. It aint nuthin but just mah two brothers n’ mah dirty ass. We all keep pretty close tabs on each other.

 **SAM  
** Can I peep tha pictures da perved-out muthafucka busted yo slick ass?

 **HALEY  
** Yeah.

On a laptop, HALEY pulls up pictures.

 **HALEY  
** Thatz Tommy.

HALEY clicks twice n’ another picture comes up, then tha still frame openin tha sickest fuckin vizzle.

 **TOM  
** Yo Haley, dizzle six, we still up near Blackwata Ridge. We fine, keepin safe, so quit freakin’ tha fuck out, aiiight, biatch? Talk ta you tomorrow.

SAM spots tha shadow flickin past.

 **DEAN  
** Well, we’ll find yo’ brutha n’ shit. Our thugged-out asses headin up ta Blackwata Ridge first thang.

 **HALEY  
** Then maybe I be bout ta peep you there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin’ thru fo'sho. Look, I can’t sit round here no mo’. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I hired a muthafucka. I be headin up in tha morning, n’ I'ma find Tommy mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin I know how tha fuck you feel.

 **SAM  
** Yo, do you mind forwardin these ta me son?

 **HALEY  
** Sure.

_BAR  
INT. BAR - NIGHT_

Someone breaks a game of pool fo’ realz. A waitress goes past carryin brew n’ shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n’ DEAN sit tha fuck down at a table.

 **SAM  
** So, Blackwata Ridge don’t git a shitload of traffic. Local campers, mostly. But still, dis past April, two hikers went missin up there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin’ thru fo'sho. They was never found.

SAM opens Johnz journal.

 **DEAN  
** Any before that?

SAM pulls up newspaper articlez ta show DEAN.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, up in 1982, eight different playas all vanished up in tha same year fo’ realz. Authoritizzles holla’d dat shiznit was a grizzly attack.

DEAN readz tha headline up in Da Lost Creek Gazette.

GRIZZLY BEAR ATTACKS!  
UP TO EIGHT HIKERS VANISH IN LOST CREEK AREA  
HIKERS DISAPPEARANCE BAFFLE AUTHORITIES’  
Families continue search n’ rescue efforts up in spite of disappointin […]

SAM pulls up his fuckin laptop.

 **SAM  
** And again n’ again n’ again up in 1959 n’ again n’ again n’ again before dat up in 1936.

SAM opens tha laptop, which already has a window open ta TOMz vizzle.

 **SAM  
** Every twenty-three years, just like clockwork. Okay. Watch all dis bullshit yo. Herez a cold-ass lil clincher n’ shit. I downloaded dat muthafucka Tommyz vizzle ta tha laptop. Peep dis out.

SAM pulls up tha vizzle n’ goes all up in three framez of tha vizzle one at a time fo’ realz. A shadow crosses tha screen.

 **DEAN  
** Do it again.

SAM repeats tha frames.

 **SAM  
** Thatz three frames. Thatz a gangbangin’ fraction of a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Whatever dat thang is, it can move.

DEAN hits SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks up.

 **DEAN  
** Told you suttin’ weird was goin on.

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

SAM closes tha laptop.

 **SAM  
** I gots one mo’ thang.

SAM handz over another newspaper article.

 **SAM  
** In 'fifty-nine one camper survived dis supposed grizzly attack. Just a kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Barely crawled outta tha woodz kickin it.

DEAN looks at Da Lost Creek Gazette.

 **DEAN  
** Is there a name?

_SHAW HOUSE  
INT yo. HOUSE - NIGHT_

An OLD MAN, MR. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHAW, talks ta SAM n’ DEAN while leadin dem inside his house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHAW has a cold-ass lil blunt up in his crazy-ass grill.

 **SHAW  
** Look, ranger, I don’t give a fuck why you askin me bout all dis bullshit. It aint nuthin but hood record. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was a kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! My fuckin muthafathas gots mauled by a-

SAM interrupts.

 **SAM  
** Grizzly, biatch? Thatz what tha fuck beat down them?

SHAW takes a puff of his blunt, takes it out, n’ nods.

 **DEAN  
** Da other playas dat went missin dat year, dem bear attacks too?

A pause.

 **DEAN  
** What bout all tha playas dat went missin dis year, biatch? Same thang?

A pause.

 **DEAN  
** We knew what tha fuck we was dealin with, we might be able ta stop dat shit.

 **SHAW  
** I seriously doubt dis shiznit fo’ realz. Anyways, I don’t peep what tha fuck difference it would make.

SHAW sits down.

 **SHAW  
** Yo ass wouldn’t believe mah dirty ass. No Muthafucka eva done did.

SAM sits down across from SHAW.

 **SAM  
** Mista Muthafuckin Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shaw, what tha fuck did you see?

SHAW pauses.

 **SHAW  
** Nothing. Well shiiiit, it moved too fast ta see. Well shiiiit, it hid too well. I heard it, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin’ chickens wit tha siz-auce fo’ realz. A roar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Like…no playa or animal I eva heard.

 **SAM  
** It came at night?

SHAW nods.

 **SAM  
** Got inside yo’ tent?

 **SHAW  
** It gots inside our cabin. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. I was chillin up in front of tha fireplace when it came in. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it didn’t smash a window or break tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it unlocked dat shit. Do you know of a funky-ass bear dat could do suttin’ like that, biatch? I didn’t even raise up till I heard mah muthafathas screaming.

 **SAM  
** It capped them?

 **SHAW  
** Dragged dem off tha fuck into tha night.

SHAW shakes his head.

 **SHAW  
** Why it left me kickin it…been askin mah dirty ass dat eva since.

A pause. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHAWz handz git all up in his collar.

 **SHAW  
** Did leave me this, though.

SHAW opens his collar ta reveal three long scars. Claw marks. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n’ DEAN peep dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SHAW  
** Therez suttin’ evil up in dem woods. Dat shiznit was some sort of a thugged-out demon.

_LATER  
INT. MOTEL, biatch? - NIGHT_

DEAN n’ SAM strutt tha length of a cold-ass lil corridor wit rooms on either side.

 **DEAN**  
Spirits n’ demons don’t gotta unlock doors. If they want inside, they just go all up in tha walls.

 **SAM  
** So itz probably suttin’ else, suttin’ corporeal.

 **DEAN  
** Corporeal, biatch? Excuse me, pimp.

 **SAM  
** Shut up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what tha fuck do you think?

 **DEAN  
** Da claws, tha speed dat it moves…could be a skinwalker, maybe a funky-ass black dog. Whatever we poppin’ off about, we poppin’ off on some cold-ass lil creature, n’ itz corporeal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Which means we can bust a cap up in dat shit.

_EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT_

DEAN opens tha trunk of tha Impala, then tha weapons box, n’ props it open wit a gangbangin’ finger-lickin’ dirty-ass shotgun. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch yo. Dude puts some glocks up in a thugged-out duffel bag. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM leans in.

 **SAM  
** We cannot let dat Haley hoe go up there.

 **DEAN  
** Oh yeah, biatch? What is we gonna tell her, biatch? That dat thugged-out biiiatch can’t go tha fuck into tha woodz cuz of a funky-ass big-ass freaky monster?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

DEAN looks at SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Her brotherz missing, Sam. Dat hoe not gonna just sit dis out. Now we go wit her, we protect her, n’ we keep our eyes peeled fo’ our fuzzy predator playa.

DEAN picks up tha duffel.

 **SAM  
** Findin Dadz not enough?

SAM slams tha weapons box shut, then tha trunk.

 **SAM  
** Now we gotta babysit too?

DEAN stares at SAM.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Nothing.

Dude throws tha duffel bag at SAM n’ strutts off. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM stares afta his muthafuckin ass.

_FOREST  
EXT. FOREST - DAY_

A MAN, ROY, talks ta HALEY (who is bustin shorts) n’ BEN while checkin a gangbangin’ finger-lickin’ dirty-ass shotgun. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy biatch. They’re all carryin full backpacks.

 **ROY  
** I be bout ta rap again, I don’t be thinkin Lil’ Bow Wow should come.

 **HALEY  
** Roy-

 **ROY  
** Look, you payin me phat scrilla ta keep dem hoes safe. I be thinkin Benz safest at home.

Da Impala pulls up. ROY, HALEY, n’ BEN stare yo. HALEY shakes her head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM n’ DEAN git outta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM opens tha back door of tha Impala n’ pulls up tha duffel bag.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass muthafuckas gots room fo’ two more?

 **HALEY  
** Wait, you wanna come wit us?

 **ROY  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is these muthafuckas?

 **HALEY  
** Apparently dis be all tha park steez could musta up fo’ tha search n’ rescue.

SAM headz past everyone.

 **ROY  
** Yo ass is rangers?

 **DEAN  
** Thatz right.

 **HALEY  
** And you hikin up in biker boots n’ jeans?

DEAN looks down at his dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Well, dopeheart, I don’t do shorts.

DEAN headz past HALEY.

 **ROY  
** What, you be thinkin dis is funky, biatch? It aint nuthin but fucked up back ghetto up there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin’ thru fo'sho yo. Her brutha might be hurt.

SAM turns back.

 **DEAN  
** Believe me, I know how tha fuck fucked up it can be. Us playas just wanna help dem find they brother, thatz all.

DEAN headz past SAM.

_MINE  
INT. MINE - DAY_

A mine shaft lets up in light. TOM n’ GARY is hangin by they wrists from tha ceiling. There is assorted corpses wit dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Growling. GARY spots a tall skinny shape n’ starts yelling. TOMMY do his dopest ta turn away n’ do close his wild lil’ fuckin eyes tightly as GARY yells.


	8. 1.02 Wendigo (ACT TWO)

_FOREST_   
_EXT. FOREST - DAY_

Da crew hikes all up in tha forest, ROY up in tha lead, then DEAN, HALEY, BEN, n' SAM brangin up tha rear.

 **DEAN**  
Roy, you holla'd you did a lil hunting.

 **ROY**  
Yeah, mo' than a lil.

 **DEAN**  
Uh-huh. What kind of furry crittas do you hunt?

 **ROY**  
Mostly buck, sometimes bear.

DEAN passes ROY.

 **DEAN**  
Tell me, uh, Bambi or Yogi eva hunt you back?

ROY grabs DEAN. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks on.

 **DEAN**  
Whatcha bustin, Roy?

ROY grabs a stick n' pokes tha bear trap DEAN had almost stepped in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. HALEY looks annoyed.

 **ROY**  
Yo ass should peep where you stepping. Ranger.

ROY drops tha stick n' retakes tha lead.

 **DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but a funky-ass bear trap.

They hike on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. HALEY catches up ta DEAN.

 **HALEY**  
Yo ass didn't pack any provisions. Yo ass muthafuckas is carryin a thugged-out duffel bag. Yo ass aint rangers.

HALEY grabs DEANz arm.

 **HALEY**  
So whoz ass tha hell is yo slick ass?

BEN goes past HALEY n' DEAN. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at DEAN, whoz ass indicates wit his wild lil' fuckin expression dat SAMz ta go on by; SAM obeys. DEAN watches his ass go fo' a moment.

 **DEAN**  
Sam n' I is brothers, n' our slick asses lookin fo' our daddy n' shiznit yo. Dude might be here, our phat asses don't give a gangbangin' fuck. I just figured dat you n' me, we up in tha same boat.

 **HALEY**  
Why didn't you just tell me dat from tha start?

 **DEAN**  
I be spittin some lyrics ta you now, nahmeean, biatch? 'sides, itz probably da most thugged-out real I've eva been wit a biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. ...ever n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So we aiiight?

A pause.

 **HALEY**  
Yeah, aiiight.

 **DEAN**  
And what tha fuck do you mean I didn't pack provisions?

DEAN pulls up a funky-ass big-ass ounce ta tha bounce of peanut M&Ms n' sticks his hand up in tha bag as dat schmoooove muthafucka hikes on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. HALEY waits a moment, then bigs up.

_LATER_   
_EXT. FOREST - DAY_

ROY leadz tha way, followed by SAM, BEN, HALEY, n' DEAN.

 **ROY**  
This is dat shit. Blackwata Ridge.

SAM headz past ROY.

 **SAM  
** What coordinates is we at?

ROY pulls up a GPS, which readz N 35o 45.383, W 111o 00.55.

 **ROY**  
Thirty-five n' minus one-eleven.

DEAN comes up ta SAM. They listen.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass hear that?

 **SAM**  
Yeah. Not even crickets.

 **ROY**  
I'ma go take a look around.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass shouldn't go off by yo ass.

 **ROY**  
Thatz dope. Don't worry bout mah dirty ass.

ROY waves his wild lil' freakadelic glock n' pushes between DEAN n' SAM ta retake tha lead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN turns back ta tha others as BEN n' HALEY catch up.

 **DEAN**  
All right, dem hoes stays together n' shit. Letz go.

_CAMPSITE_   
_EXT. FOREST - DAY_

SAM, DEAN, BEN, n' HALEY is lookin round near a big-ass rock.  
 **ROY**  
Haley dawwwwg! Over here!

HALEY runs towardz ROYz voice, followed closely by tha others. They come ta a halt.  
 **HALEY**  
Oh mah Dogg.

Da tents is torn open n' bloody n' all tha supplies is scattered.

 **ROY**  
Looks like a grizzly.

DEAN n' HALEY look around.

 **HALEY**  
Tommy?

HALEY takes off her backpack n' goes all up in tha campsite.

 **HALEY**  
Tommy!

SAM moves ta catch up wit HALEY.

 **SAM**  
Shh.

 **HALEY**  
Tommy!

 **SAM**  
Shh-hh-hh!

 **HALEY**  
Why?

 **SAM**  
Somethang might still be up there.

 **DEAN**  
Sam!

SAM goes over ta DEAN, snappin a stick, n' crouches next ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN**  
Da bodies was dragged from tha campsite. But here, tha tracks just vanish. Thatz weird.

DEAN n' SAM stand up.

 **DEAN**  
I be bout ta rap what, thatz no skinwalker or black dog.

DEAN goes back ta tha campsite n' SAM bigs up yo. HALEY picks up TOMz beeper; itz bloody. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch cries. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turns tha beeper over n' tha back is open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN crouches next ta her muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, his schmoooove ass could still be kickin it.

HALEY gives DEAN a Look.

 **SOMEONE**  
Help! Help!

ROY leadz tha way as mah playas runs ta tha aid of tha shouter.

 **SOMEONE**  
Help! Somebody!

They find no one.

 **HALEY**  
It seemed like dat shiznit was comin from round here, didn't it?

They listen.

 **SAM**  
All Y'all back ta camp.

Back all up in tha campsite, all tha supplies is missing.

 **HALEY**  
Our packs!

 **ROY**  
So much fo' mah GPS n' mah satellite phone.

 **HALEY**  
What tha hell is goin on?

 **SAM**  
It aint nuthin but smart. Well shiiiit, it wants ta cut our asses off so we can't call fo' help.

 **ROY**  
Yo ass mean one of mah thugs, some nutjob up there just stole all our gear.

SAM goes ta DEAN.

 **SAM**  
I need ta drop a rhyme wit you, biatch. In private.

SAM n' DEAN head a lil ways away from tha group.

 **SAM**  
Good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Let me peep Dadz journal.

DEAN handz it over n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM opens it n' flips all up in until he findz a particular page.

 **SAM**  
All right, check dat out.

SAM points ta a First Nations-style drawin of a gangbangin' figure.

 **DEAN**  
Oh come on, wendigos is up in tha Minnesota woodz or, or northern Michigan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I never even heard of one dis far westside.

 **SAM**  
Think bout it, Dean, tha claws, tha way it can mimic a human voice.

 **DEAN**  
Great.

DEAN takes up his thugged-out lil' pistol.

 **DEAN**  
Well then dis is useless.

SAM gives DEAN back Johnz journal n' headz past DEAN, stoppin fo' a moment.

 **SAM**  
We gotta git these playas ta safety.

Back all up in tha campsite, SAM addresses tha group.

 **SAM**  
All right, listen up, itz time ta bounce tha fuck out. Things have gotten...more fucked up.

 **HALEY**  
What?

 **ROY  
** Kid, quit freakin' tha fuck out. Whateverz up there, I be thinkin I can handle dat shit.

 **SAM**  
It aint nuthin but not me I be worried about. If you blast dis thang, you just gonna make it mad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We gotta muthafuckin bounce. Now.

 **ROY**  
One, you poppin' off nonsense. Two, you up in no posizzle ta give anybody orders.

 **DEAN**  
Relax.

 **SAM**  
We never should have let you come up here up in tha straight-up original gangsta place, all right, biatch? I be tryin ta protect you, biatch.

ROY steps right tha fuck into SAMz space.

 **ROY**  
Yo ass protect me son, biatch? I was hustlin these woodz when yo' mommy was still humpin' you phat night.

 **SAM**  
Yeah, biatch? It aint nuthin but a thugged-out damn near slick hustla n' shit. It aint nuthin but smarta than you, n' itz gonna hunt you down n' smoke you kickin it unless we git yo' wack sorry ass outta here.

ROY laughs.

 **ROY**  
Yo ass know you crazy, right?

 **SAM**  
Yeah, biatch? Yo ass eva hunt a wen-

DEAN pushes SAM.

 **HALEY**  
Roy!

 **DEAN**  
Chill out.

 **HALEY**  
Stop. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Quit dat shit. All Y'all just stop. Look. Tommy might still be kickin it fo' realz. And I aint leavin here without his muthafuckin ass.

A long pause.

 **DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but gettin late. This thang be a phat hunta up in tha dizzle yo, but a unbelievable hunta at night. We bout ta never beat it, not up in tha dark. We need ta settle up in n' protect ourselves.

 **HALEY**  
How?


	9. 1.02 Wendigo (ACT THREE)

_CAMPSITE_   
_EXT. FOREST - NIGHT_

Da crew has built a cold-ass lil campfire, n' DEAN draws suttin' up in tha dirt round tha campsite while HALEY pokes all up in tha fire.

 **HALEY**  
One mo' time, that's-

 **DEAN**  
Anasazi symbols. It aint nuthin but fo' protection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da wendigo can't cross over dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

ROY laughs, glock over his shoulder.

 **DEAN**  
No Muthafucka likes a skeptic, Roy.

DEAN headz over ta sit next ta SAM, whoz ass be all up in tha edge of tha campsite.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass wanna tell me what tha fuck be happenin up in dat freaky head of yours?

 **SAM**  
Dean-

 **DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, you not fine. Yo ass is like a powder keg, dude, it aint like you, biatch. I be supposed ta be tha belligerent one, remember?

A pause.

 **SAM**  
Dadz not here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I mean, dat much we know fo' sure, right, biatch? Dude would have left our asses a message, a sign, right?

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, you probably right. Tell you tha real deal, I don't be thinkin Dadz eva been ta Lost Creek.

 **SAM**  
Then letz git these playas back ta hood n' letz hit tha road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Go find Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, why is we still even here?  
This is why.

DEAN comes round ta SAMz front n' holdz up Johnz journal.

 **DEAN**  
This book. This is Dadz single most valuable possession-everythang he knows bout every last muthafuckin evil thang is up in here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. And he passed it on ta us. I be thinkin da thug wants our asses ta pick up where he left off. Yo ass know, savin people, hustlin thangs. Da crew bidnizz.

SAM shakes his head.

 **SAM**  
That make no sense. Why don't he just-call us, biatch? Why don't he-tell our asses what tha fuck da thug wants, tell our asses where he is?

 **DEAN**  
I dunno. But tha way I peep it, Dadz givin our asses a thang ta do, n' I intend ta do dat shit.

 **SAM**  
Dean...no. I gotta find Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I gotta find Jessicaz killa n' shit. It aint nuthin but tha only thang I can be thinkin about.

 **DEAN**  
Okay, all right, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen ta mah dirty ass. You've gotta prepare yo ass. I mean, dis search could take a while, n' all dat anger, you can't keep it burnin over tha long haul. It aint nuthin but gonna bust a cap up in you, biatch. Yo ass gotta have patience, man.

SAM looks down, then up.

 **SAM**  
How tha fuck do you do it, biatch? How tha fuck do Dad do it?

DEAN looks over at HALEY n' BEN.

 **DEAN**  
Well fo' one, dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

SAM looks over at HALEY n' BEN.

 **DEAN**  
I mean, I figure our crewz so screwed ta hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes thangs a lil bit mo' bearable.

A pause.

 **DEAN**  
I be bout ta rap what tha fuck else helps.

SAM looks back at DEAN.

 **DEAN**  
Bustin' as nuff evil lil playaz of biiiatches as I possibly can.

SAM smilez fo' realz. A twig snaps.

 **SOMEONE, presumably tha WENDIGO**  
Help me biaaatch! Please!

DEAN standz n' readies his wild lil' freakadelic gun.

 **WENDIGO**  
Help!

SAM shines a gangbangin' flashlight about.

 **DEAN**  
Dat punk tryin ta draw our asses out. Just stay cool, stay put.

 **ROY**  
Inside tha magic circle?

 **WENDIGO**  
Help! Help me!

Growling.  
ROY points his wild lil' freakadelic glock all up in tha sound.

 **ROY**  
Okay, thatz no grizzly.

HALEY talks ta BEN.

 **HALEY**  
It aint nuthin but all gravy. You'll be all right, I promise.

Somethang rushes past yo. HALEY shrieks.

 **SAM**  
It aint nuthin but here.

ROY blasts all up in tha rustling, then again.

 **ROY**  
I hit dat shiznit son!

ROY goes ta peep what tha fuck dat schmoooove muthafucka hit.

 **DEAN**  
Roy, no! Roy!

DEAN turns ta HALEY n' BEN.

 **DEAN**  
Don't move.

HALEYz holdin a stick, burnin at one end, as a weapon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN n' SAM run afta ROY.

 **ROY**  
It aint nuthin but over here biaaatch! It aint nuthin but up in tha tree!

Da WENDIGO reaches down from tha tree n' snaps ROYz neck.

 **DEAN**  
Roy!

SAM shines tha flashlight around, then directly tha fuck into tha camera.


	10. 1.02 Wendigo (ACT FOUR)

_CAMPSITE_   
_EXT. FOREST - DAY_

SAM is chillin against a hollow tree stump, holdin Johnz journal n' playin wit a lanyard attached ta same. DEAN n' HALEY n' BEN is among tha tents.

 **HALEY**  
I don't...I mean, these typez of thangs, they aren't supposed ta be real.

 **DEAN**  
I wish I could rap different.

 **HALEY**  
How tha fuck do we know it aint up there watchin us?

 **DEAN**  
Us dudes don't. But we safe fo' now, nahmeean?

 **HALEY**  
How tha fuck do you know bout dis stuff?

A pause while DEAN considers.

 **DEAN**  
Kind of runs up in tha crew.

SAM comes over.

 **SAM**  
Hey.

HALEY standz up.

 **SAM**  
So we've gots half a cold-ass lil chizzle up in tha daylight fo' realz. And I fo' one wanna bust a cap up in dis evil lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch.

 **DEAN**  
Well, hell, you know I be in.

SAM shows tha wendigo page of Johnz journal ta HALEY n' BEN.

 **SAM**  
'Wendigo' be a Cree Indian word. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it means 'evil dat devours'.

 **DEAN**  
They're hundredz of muthafuckin years old. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Each one was once a man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes a Indian, or other times a gangbangin' frontiersman or a miner or hunter.

 **HALEY**  
Howz a playa turn tha fuck into one of dem thangs?

DEAN picks a cold-ass lil couple thangs up off tha ground.

 **DEAN**  
Well, itz always tha same. Durin some harsh winta a muthafucka findz his dirty ass starving, cut off from supplies or help. Becomes a cold-ass lil cannibal ta survive, smokin other thugz of his cold-ass tribe or camp.

 **BEN  
** Like tha Donner Party.

 **SAM**  
Cultures all over tha ghetto believe dat smokin human flesh gives a thug certain abilities. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Speed, strength, immortality.

 **DEAN**  
If you smoke enough of it, over years, you become dis less than human thang. Yo ass be always hungry.

 **HALEY**  
So if thatz true, how tha fuck can Tommy still be kickin it?

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass aint gonna like dat shit.

DEAN glances at SAM, then back ta HALEY.

 **HALEY**  
Tell mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN**  
Mo' than anything, a wendigo knows how tha fuck ta last long wintas without chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch. I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Well shiiiit, it hibernates fo' muthafuckin years at a time yo, but when itz awake it keeps its suckas kickin dat shit, yo. It, uh, it stores them, so it can feed whenever it wants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. If yo' brotherz kickin it, itz keepin his ass somewhere dark, hidden, n' safe. We gotta track it back there.

 **HALEY**  
And then how tha fuck do we stop it?  
 **DEAN**  
Well, glocks is useless, so is knives. Basically-

DEAN holdz up tha can of lighta fluid, tha brew bottle, n' tha white cloth he'd picked up.

 **DEAN**  
We gotta torch tha sucker.

_FOREST_   
_EXT. FOREST - DAY_

DEAN leadz tha way all up in tha woods, Molotov cocktail up in hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! HALEY bigs up, then BEN, then SAM. They pass trees wit claw marks n' blood.

_EXT. FOREST - DAY, LATER_

SAM is leadin tha crew now, nahmeean?

 **SAM**  
Dean.

DEAN catches up.

 **DEAN**  
What tha fuck iz it?

SAM n' DEAN look round all up in tha trees. There is bloody claw marks n' fucked up branches all over dis biiiatch.  
 **SAM**  
Yo ass know, I was thinking, dem claw prints, so clear n' distinct. They was almost too easy as fuck ta follow.

Growling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN whip around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Trees rustle.  
HALEY is standin under a tree. Blood drips on her shirt. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch notices n' looks up, then leaps outta tha way; ROYz corpse landz where she'd stood.  
DEAN examines ROY as SAM goes over ta HALEY.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass aiiight, biatch? Yo ass gots it?

 **DEAN**  
His neckz broke.

SAM helps HALEY up. Mo' growling.

 **DEAN**  
Okay, run, run, run, run, go, go, go!

All Y'all takes off.  
BEN falls n' SAM hurries back ta help his ass up, dividin tha crew two n' two.

 **SAM**  
Come on, I gotcha, I gotcha.

DEAN n' HALEY stop short: tha wendigo is up in front of dem wild-ass muthafuckas yo. HALEY screams.

 **BEN**  
Haley?

SAM stops hustlin n' picks up Deanz Molotov cocktail, tha forty broken.

 **SAM**  
Dean!


	11. 1.02 Wendigo (ACT FIVE)

_FOREST_   
_EXT. FOREST - DAY_

**BEN**  
If it keeps its suckas kickin it, why would it bust a cap up in Roy?

 **SAM**  
Honestly, biatch? I be thinkin cuz Roy blasted at it, pissed it off.

BEN findz a trail of peanut M&Ms n' picks one up.

 **BEN**  
They went dis way.

SAM catches up ta BEN, whoz ass handz over tha M&M. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM laughs.

 **SAM**  
It aint nuthin but betta than breadcrumbs.

SAM tosses tha M&M away.  
SAM n' BEN follow tha trail. They come ta a mine entrizzle marked wit a sign dat say WARNING! DANGER! DO NOT ENTER EXTREMELY TOXIC MATERIAL. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at BEN, shrugs, n' goes inside. BEN bigs up fo' realz. Above tha entrizzle be a larger sign dat say KEEP OUT NO ADMITTANCE.

_MINE_   
_INT. MINE - DAY_

SAM shines tha flashlight ahead of dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Growling; SAM shuts off tha light n' pulls BEN against tha wall. Da WENDIGO comes towardz dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM covers BENz grill before his schmoooove ass can scream. Da WENDIGO takes a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different tunnel all up in tha crossing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' BEN keep going. Da floorboardz creak n' BEN n' SAM fall all up in tha floor; they land up in a pile of bones. There be another pile nearby of skulls. BEN spots dem n' leaps backward.

 **SAM**  
Yo, itz all gravy, itz all gravy, itz all gravy.

SAM n' BEN look up; DEAN n' HALEY is hangin by they wrists from tha ceiling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM runs ta DEAN, BEN ta HALEY.

 **SAM**  
Dean!

 **BEN**  
Haley, wake up!

SAM grabs DEAN n' shakes his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM**  
Dean!

DEAN opens his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

 **SAM**  
Yo, you aiiight?

DEAN winces.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah.

 **BEN**  
Haley, Haley, wake up, wake up!

SAM cuts DEAN down n' BEN takes care of HALEY. They help dem over ta a empty patch of floor n' git dem sat down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN make pained noises.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass shizzle you all right?

DEAN grimaces.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah. Yep. Where is he?

 **SAM**  
Dat punk gone fo' now, nahmeean?

HALEY divests her muthafuckin ass of rope. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch standz up n' spots TOM still hangin n' starts crying.

 **HALEY**  
Tommy...

HALEY touches TOMz cheek. TOMz head jerks up yo. HALEY jumps back n' shrieks. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turns ta SAM.

 **HALEY**  
Cut his ass down!

SAM cuts TOM down.

 **HALEY**  
We gonna git you home.

Da jacked supplies is piled up in tha corner n' shit. DEAN picks up flare guns.

 **DEAN**  
Peep it out.

 **SAM**  
Flare guns. Those'll work.

SAM grins. DEAN laughs n' twirls tha guns.  
They head down a tunnel, DEAN n' SAM up in tha lead wit tha flare glocks n' HALEY n' BEN supportin TOM, whoz ass is limping.  
Growling.

 **DEAN**  
Looks like one of mah thugss home fo' supper.

 **HALEY**  
We bout ta never outrun dat shit.

DEAN looks back all up in tha others.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass thankin what tha fuck I be thinking?

 **SAM**  
Yeah, I be thinkin so.

 **DEAN**  
All right, dig mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stay wit Sam. Dat punk gonna git you outta here.

 **HALEY**  
What is you gonna do?

DEAN winks n' starts struttin n' yelling.

 **DEAN**  
Chow time, you freaky bastard hommie! Yeah, thatz right, brang it on, baby, I taste good.

Da rest of DEANz lyrics is indistinct.  
SAM waits until DEAN be a safe distizzle away.

 **SAM**  
All right, come on! Hurry!

Da Collinses follow SAM down tha tunnel.

_INT. MINE - DAY_

**DEAN**  
Yo, you want some white meat, biiiatch! I be right here!

_INT. MINE - DAY_

SAM, HALEY, BEN, n' TOM hurry down a tunnel.  
Growling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM points tha glock at it, then lowers tha glock n' turns ta tha Collinses.

 **SAM**  
Git his ass outta here.

 **HALEY**  
Sam, no.

 **SAM**  
Go! Go! Go!

 **BEN**  
Come on, Haley!

HALEY n' BEN help TOM along tha mine tunnel.  
SAM holdz tha flare glock locked n loaded ta blast, lookin down tha tunnel.

 **SAM**  
Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Come on.

Growling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM turns: tha WENDIGO is right up in his wild lil' face. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM blasts n' misses, then runs afta tha Collinses.

 **HALEY**  
Sam!

SAM catches up.

 **SAM**  
Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry.

They run ta tha end of tha tunnel, tha WENDIGO right behind.

 **SAM**  
Git behind mah dirty ass.

SAM is big-ass enough ta hide all three Collinses.  
Da WENDIGO approaches, takin its time.  
DEAN comes up behind tha WENDIGO.

 **DEAN**  
Hey!

Da WENDIGO turns. DEAN blasts it up in tha stomach. Da flare goes off n' tha WENDIGO goes up in flames.

 **DEAN**  
Not bad, huh?

SAM grins.


	12. 1.02 Wendigo (EPILOGUE)

_EXT. RANGER STATION - NIGHT_

An ambulizzle loadz up TOM. Two POLICE OFFICERS rap battlez BEN; SAM standz behind BEN.

 **OFFICER**  
And tha bear came back again n' again n' again afta you yelled at it?

 **BEN**  
Thatz when it circled tha campsite. I mean, dis grizzly must have weighed eight hundred, nine hundred pounds.

SAM nods.

 **OFFICER**  
All right, we'll go afta it first thang.

HALEY talks ta DEAN; both have already been patched up.

 **HALEY**  
So I don't give a fuck how tha fuck ta fuck you, biatch.

DEAN smirks lasciviously yo. HALEY smilez despite her muthafuckin ass.

 **HALEY**  
Must you skankyen tha moment?

 **DEAN**  
Yeah.

A PARAMEDIC comes up ta HALEY.

 **PARAMEDIC**  
Yo ass ridin wit yo' brother?

 **HALEY**  
Yeah.

Da PARAMEDIC headz back ta tha ambulizzle yo. HALEY turns ta BEN.

 **HALEY**  
Letz go.

SAM n' BEN nod at each other n' shiznit yo. HALEY kisses DEAN on tha cheek.

 **HALEY**  
I hope you find yo' father.

HALEY n' BEN head fo' tha ambulance.

 **HALEY**  
Thanks, Sam.

HALEY n' BEN climb up in tha ambulizzle wit TOM, whoz ass is shirtless n' bandaged.  
SAM sits on tha Impalaz hood wit DEAN.

 **PARAMEDIC 2**  
Close her up.

A third PARAMEDIC closes tha ambulizzle doors.

 **DEAN**  
Man, I don't give a fuck bout camping.

 **SAM**  
Me like a muthafucka.

Noisez of tha ambulizzle rollin away, sirens on.

 **DEAN**  
Sam, you know we gonna find Dad, right?

 **SAM**  
Yeah, I know. But up in tha meantime, biatch? I be driving.

DEAN tosses SAM tha keys.  
"Fly By Night" by Rush begins ta play.  
SAM n' DEAN git up in tha car, slammin tha doors almost up in sync.

 **MUSIC**  
Why try, biatch? I know why

Da hoopty starts n' drives off.

_EXT. ROAD - DAY_

Da Impala drives along.

 **MUSIC**  
My fuckin shizzle aint comin n' I just can't pretend  
My fuckin shizzle aint comin n' I just can't pretend


	13. 1.03 Dead in the Water (NOW)

_Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin_   
_EXT. CARLTON HOUSE - DAY_   
_INT. CARLTON HOUSE - DAY_

WILL CARLTON sits on tha kitchen counta smokin cereal, BILL CARLTON all up in tha table readin tha newspaper n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SOPHIE CARLTON comes all up in tha room.  
SOPHIE kisses her daddy on tha cheek.

 **SOPHIE**  
Morning, Daddy.

 **BILL**  
Morning, dopeheart.

SOPHIE goes ta git suttin' outta tha refrigerator.

 **WILL**  
All these workouts, Soph, I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. Guys don't like buff hoes.

 **SOPHIE**  
Yeah, well, hoes don't like muthafuckas whoz ass still live at home.

WILL drains tha gin n juice from his cereal bowl n' slides off tha counter.

 **WILL**  
Ha ha ha.

 **SOPHIE**  
Ha ha.

SOPHIE opens tha door ta muthafuckin bounce.

 **BILL**  
Be careful.

 **SOPHIE**  
I will.

SOPHIE closes tha door.

_EXT. LAKE - DAY_

SOPHIE standz on tha dock, lookin all up in tha lake. WILL watches from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distizzle as her dope ass dives in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch swims n' comes up fo' air, lookin around; her big-ass booty sees no one. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch keeps swimming. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch comes up fo' air again n' again n' again n' looks round some more; still no one. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SOMEONE approaches her from underwata n' pulls her under n' shit. Bubbles. Nothing.


	14. 1.03 Dead in the Water (ACT ONE)

_RESTAURANT_  
_EXT. MOTEL - DAY_

A truck goes past a neon sign dat say HOTEL, behind a funky-ass buildin dat say THE Lynnwood INN. Da Impala is parked up in front.

 _INT. RESTAURANT - DAY_  
There be a mostly empty plate up in front of DEAN, whoz ass is circlin obituaries up in a newspaper.  
DEAN circlez a obituary dat reads:  
CARLTON, SOPHIE -Da Carlton crew is fucked up ta announce tha dirtnap of they beloved daughta up in a tragic swimmin accident. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sophie Carlton, 18, was havin her [...] Lake Manitoc WI, a [...] suddenly [...]  
An bangin WAITRESS, whose nametag say WENDY, approaches.

 **WENDY  
** Can I git you anythang else?

DEAN looks up n' grins round tha pen his schmoooove ass chewin on.  
SAM comes over n' sits down.

 **SAM**  
Just tha check, please.

 **WENDY**  
Okay.

WENDY strutts away. DEAN drops his head, then looks at SAM.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass know, Sam, we is allowed ta have funk once up in a while.

DEAN points ta WENDY struttin away; dat biiiiatch bustin short shorts.

 **DEAN**  
Thatz fun.

SAM looks at his muthafuckin ass. DEAN handz SAM tha newspaper.

 **DEAN**  
Here, take a peep this, I be thinkin I gots one. Lake Manitoc, Wisconsin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Last week Sophie Carlton, eighteen, strutts tha fuck into tha lake, don't strutt up fo' realz. Authoritizzles dragged tha water; nothing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sophie Carlton is tha third Lake Manitoc drownin dis year. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. None of tha other bodies was found either n' shit. They had a gangbangin' funeral two minutes ago.

 **SAM**  
A funeral?

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, itz weird, they buried a empty coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. For, uh, closure or whatever.

 **SAM**  
Closure, biatch? What closure, biatch? Muthafuckas don't just disappear, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Other playas just stop lookin fo' dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **DEAN**  
Somethang you wanna say ta me son?

 **SAM**  
Da trail fo' Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but gettin colda every last muthafuckin day.

 **DEAN**  
Exactly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what tha fuck is we supposed ta do?

 **SAM**  
I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang fo' realz. Anything.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass know what, biatch? I be sick of dis attitude. Yo ass don't be thinkin I wanna find Dad as much as you do?

 **SAM**  
Yeah, I know you do, itz just-

 **DEAN**  
I be tha one thatz been wit his ass every last muthafuckin single dizzle fo' tha past two years, while you've been off ta college goin ta pep rallies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Us thugs will find Dad yo, but until then, we gonna bust a cap up in every last muthafuckin thang shitty between here n' there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Okay?

SAM rolls his wild lil' fuckin eyes. WENDY strutts by, distractin DEAN.

 **SAM**  
All right, Lake Manitoc yo. Hey!

DEAN returns his thugged-out attention ta SAM.

 **DEAN**  
Huh?

 **SAM**  
How tha fuck far?

_LAKE MANITOC_

"Round n' Round" by Ratt begins ta play.

_EXT. ROAD - DAY_

Da Impala passes a cold-ass lil clothesline wit white sheets.

_EXT. BRIDGE - DAY_

Da Impala crosses a funky-ass bridge n' passes one of mah thugs fishin off same.

_EXT. ROAD - DAY_

**MUSIC**  
Round n' round  
With ludd we'll find a way  
Just give it time

Da Impala drives past a sign dat readz "Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Lake Manitoc WI."

_EXT. CARLTON HOUSE - DAY_

Da Impala pulls up in front of tha Carlton house.

 **MUSIC**  
Round n' round

Da Impalaz engine stops.  
DEAN knocks on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. WILL CARLTON opens dat shit.

 **DEAN**  
Will Carlton?

 **WILL**  
Yeah, thatz right.

 **DEAN**  
I be Agent Ford. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This is Agent Hamill.

 **DEAN**  
Us thugs wit tha US Wildlife Service.

DEAN holdz up a ID.

_EXT. LAKE - DAY_

BILL CARLTON is chillin on a funky-ass bench on tha dock. WILL brangs SAM n' DEAN round ta peep his muthafuckin ass.

 **WILL**  
Bitch was on some hundred yardz out. Thatz where she gots dragged down.

 **DEAN**  
And you shizzle her dope ass didn't just drown?

 **WILL**  
Yeah. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was a varsitizzle swimmer. Bitch practically grew up in dat lake. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was as safe up there as up in her own bathtub.

 **SAM**  
So no splashing, biatch? No signz of distress?

 **WILL**  
Fuck dat shit, thatz what tha fuck I be spittin some lyrics ta you, biatch.

 **SAM**  
Did yo dirty ass peep any shadows up in tha water, biatch? Maybe some dark shape breach tha surface?

 **WILL**  
No fo' realz. Again, dat biiiiatch was straight-up far up there.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass eva peep any strange tracks by tha shoreline?

 **WILL**  
Fuck dat shit, never n' shit. Why, biatch? Why, what tha fuck do you thinkz up there?

 **DEAN**  
We bout ta let you know as soon as our phat asses do.

DEAN headz back ta tha car.

 **SAM**  
What bout yo' father?

DEAN stops n' turns back.

 **SAM**  
Can we rap ta him?

WILL turns ta peep BILL, then turns back.

 **WILL**  
Look, if you don't mind, I mean...he didn't peep anythang n' he kind of been all up in all muthafuckin day.

 **SAM**  
We understand.

SAM n' DEAN git all up in tha car.

 _POLICE STATION_  
_INT. POLICE STATION - DAY_

SHERIFF JAKE DEVINS talks ta SAM n' DEAN.

 **JAKE**  
Now, I be sorry yo, but why do tha Wildlife Service care bout a accidental drowning?

 **SAM**  
Yo ass shizzle itz accidental, biatch? Will Carlton saw suttin' grab his sister.

 **JAKE**  
Like what?

They strutt tha fuck into JAKEz crib. JAKE motions ta chairs up in front of his fuckin lil' desk.

 **JAKE**  
Here, sit,. Biiiatch please.There is no indigenous carnivores up in dat lake.

SAM n' DEAN sit.

 **JAKE**  
Therez not a god damn thang even big-ass enough ta pull down a person, unless dat shiznit was tha Loch Ness Monster.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah.

Dude laughs.

 **DEAN**  
Right.

SAM glances at DEAN.

 **JAKE**  
Will Carlton was traumatized, n' sometimes tha mind skits tricks. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Still-

JAKE sits down.

 **JAKE**  
Us dudes dragged dat entire lake. We even ran a sonar sweep, just ta be sure, n' there was not a god damn thang down there.

 **DEAN**  
Thatz weird, though, I mean, that's, thatz tha third missin body dis year.

 **JAKE**  
I know. These is playas from mah town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. These is playas I care about.

 **DEAN**  
I know.

 **JAKE**  
Anyway...

JAKE sighs.

 **JAKE**  
All this...it won't be a problem much longer.

 **DEAN**  
What do you mean?

 **JAKE**  
Well, tha dam, of course.

 **DEAN**  
Of course, tha dam. It's, uh, it sprung a leak.

 **JAKE**  
It aint nuthin but fallin apart, n' tha fedz won't give our asses tha grant ta repair it, so they've opened tha spillway. In another six months, there won't be much of a lake. There won't be much of a town, either n' shit. But as Federal Wildlife, you already knew that.

 **DEAN**  
Exactly.

A YOUNG WOMAN, ANDREA BARR, taps on tha door.  
  
ANDREA  
Sorry, is I interrupting?

SAM n' DEAN stand up.

 **ANDREA**  
I can come back later.

 **JAKE**  
Gentlemen, dis is mah daughter.

 **DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but a pleasure ta hook up you, biatch. I be Dean.

DEAN shakes ANDREAz hand.

 **ANDREA**  
Andrea Barr yo. Hi.

 **DEAN**  
Hi.

 **JAKE**  
They're from tha Wildlife Service fo' realz. Bout tha lake.

 **ANDREA**  
Oh.

A BOY, LUCAS BARR, strutts up in round ANDREA.

 **DEAN**  
Oh, hey there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Whatz yo' name?

LUCAS strutts away without bustin lyrics fo' realz. ANDREA bigs up.

 **JAKE**  
His name is Lucas.

LUCAS n' ANDREA is up in tha main room fo' realz. ANDREA gives his ass some crayons outta a funky-ass box.

 **SAM  
** Is he aiiight?

 **JAKE**  
My fuckin grandsonz been all up in all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! We all have.

JAKE standz n' goes ta tha crib door.

 **JAKE**  
Well, if there be a anythang else I can do fo' you, please let me know.

DEAN, SAM, n' JAKE leave tha crib.

 **DEAN**  
Thanks. Yo ass know, now dat you mentioned it, could you point our asses up in tha direction of a reasonably priced motel?

 **ANDREA**  
Lakefront Motel. Go round tha corner n' shit. It aint nuthin but bout two blocks south.

 **DEAN**  
Two-would you mind showin us?

ANDREA laughs.

 **ANDREA**  
Yo ass want me ta strutt you two blocks?

 **DEAN**  
Not if itz any shit.

 **ANDREA**  
I be headed dat way anyway.

ANDREA turns ta JAKE.

 **ANDREA**  
I be bout ta be back ta pick up Lucas at three.

ANDREA turns ta LUCAS.

 **ANDREA**  
We bout ta git all up in tha park, aiiight, dopeie?

ANDREA kisses LUCAS on tha head.  
DEAN waves as they muthafuckin bounce. JAKE nods.

 **SAM**  
Thanks again.

 _STREET_  
_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY_

ANDREA leadz DEAN n' SAM along tha street.

 **DEAN**  
So, thugged-out kid.

 **ANDREA**  
Thanks.

They cross a street.

 **DEAN**  
Kidz is tha best, huh?

ANDREA glances at his ass n' ignores his muthafuckin ass. They keep strutting. They stop up in front of a funky-ass buildin dat say LAKEFRONT MOTEL.

 **ANDREA**  
There it is. Like I holla'd, two blocks.

 **SAM**  
Thanks.

ANDREA addresses DEAN.

 **ANDREA**  
Must be hard, wit yo' sense of direction, never bein able ta find yo' way ta a thugged-out decent pickup line.

ANDREA leaves, callin back over her shoulder.

 **ANDREA**  
Trip off yo' stay!

 **SAM**  
'Kidz is tha best', biatch? Yo ass don't even like kids.

 **DEAN**  
I gots a straight-up boner fo' kids.

 **SAM**  
Name three lil pimps dat you even know.

DEAN be thinkin n' comes up empty. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM waves a hand n' strutts tha fuck into tha motel. DEAN scratches his head.

 **DEAN**  
I be thinking!

 _MOTEL_  
_INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY_

SAM is hustlin on his fuckin laptop. DEAN is goin all up in his threadz.

 **SAM**  
So there be a tha three drownin suckas dis year.

 **DEAN**  
Any before that?

 **SAM**  
Uh, yeah.

SAM has a funky-ass browser window open ta Da Lake Manitoc Tribune. DROWNING TAINTS ICE FISHING FESTIVAL yo. Dude clicks, n' another browser window comes up, again n' again n' again tha Tribune: 12-YEAR-OLD GIRL DROWNS IN LAKE, Second drownin up in 6 months at Lake Manitoc

 **SAM**  
Six mo' spread up over tha past thirty-five years. Those bodies was never recovered either n' shit. If there is suttin' up there, itz pickin up its pace.

DEAN tosses a item of threadz onto a funky-ass bed.

 **DEAN**  
So, what, we gots a lake monsta on a funky-ass binge?

 **SAM**  
This whole lake monsta theory, it, it just bugs mah dirty ass.

DEAN comes over ta read over SAMz shoulder.

 **DEAN**  
Why?

 **SAM**  
Loch Ness, uh, Lake Champlain, there be literally hundredz of eyewitnizz accounts yo, but here, almost nothing.

SAM looks all up in tha Tribune homepage.

 **SAM**  
Whatever it is up there, no onez livin ta rap bout dat shit.

SAM scrolls ta tha comments section of a article. DEAN points at dat shit.

 **DEAN**  
Wait, Barr, Christopher Barr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Where have I heard dat name before?

SAM readz from tha page.

 **SAM**  
Christopher Barr, tha sucka up in May.

SAM clicks a link, openin a freshly smoked up page. LOCAL MAN IN TRAGIC ACCIDENT. Da picture loads: it shows a five-o fool wit LUCAS.

 **SAM**  
Oh. Christopher Barr was Andreaz homeboy, Lucass daddy n' shiznit fo' realz. Apparently tha pimpin' muthafucka took Lucas up swimming. Lucas was on a gangbangin' floatin wooden platform when Chris drowned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Two minutes before tha kid gots rescued.

SAM clicks tha picture fo' a funky-ass betta look, then scratches his head.

 **SAM**  
Maybe our crazy asses have a eyewitnizz afta all.

 **DEAN**  
No wonder dat kid was so freaked out. Watchin one of yo' muthafathas take a thugged-out dirtnap aint suttin' you just git over.

 _PARK_  
_EXT. PARK - DAY_

Kidz is bustin up n' playin fo' realz. ANDREA sits on a funky-ass bench n' watches LUCAS, whoz ass be at another bench colorin n' playin wit toy soldiers.

 **SAM (voiceover)**  
Can our laid-back asses join yo slick ass?

ANDREA looks up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is there.

 **ANDREA**  
I be here wit mah son.

DEAN looks over at LUCAS.

 **DEAN**  
Oh. Mind if I say hi?

DEAN goes over ta LUCAS.

 **ANDREA**  
Tell yo' playa dis whole Jeremy Maguire thang aint gonna work on mah dirty ass.

SAM sits next ta ANDREA.

 **SAM**  
I don't be thinkin thatz what tha fuck dis be about.

DEAN approaches LUCAS.

 **DEAN**  
Howz it going?

DEAN kneels down next ta tha bench where LUCAS is coloring; when LUCAS don't even look up, DEAN picks up one of tha toy soldiers.

 **DEAN**  
Oh, I used ta ludd these thangs.

DEAN imitates glocks n' explosions, then tosses tha toy soldier down.

 **DEAN**  
So crayons is mo' yo' thang, biatch? Thatz cool. Chicks dig artists.

LUCAS has a pile of drawings on tha bench. DEAN takes a look. Da top one iz of a funky-ass big-ass black swirl; tha second one iz of a red bicycle.

 **DEAN**  
Yo, these is pretty good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Yo ass mind if I sit n' draw wit you fo' a while?

DEAN picks up a cold-ass lil crayon.

 **DEAN**  
I aint so shitty mah dirty ass.

DEAN sits on tha bench, picks up a pad of paper, n' starts drawing.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass know, I be thankin you can hear me, you just don't wanna talk. I don't give a fuck exactly what tha fuck happened ta yo' dad yo, but I know dat shiznit was suttin' real bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be thinkin I know how tha fuck you feel. When I was yo' age, I saw something.  
A pause.

 **DEAN**  
Anyway. Well, maybe you don't be thinkin mah playas will dig you, or, uh...or believe you, biatch. I want you ta know dat I will. Yo ass don't even gotta say anything. Yo ass could draw me a picture bout what tha fuck you saw dat day, wit yo' dad, on tha lake. Okay, no problem. This is fo' you, biatch.

DEAN holdz up ta LUCAS tha picture da ruffneck drew. It aint nuthin but stick figures.

 **DEAN**  
This is mah crew.

DEAN points at each thug up in turn.

 **DEAN**  
Thatz mah dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Thatz mah momma. Thatz mah geek brother, n' thatz mah dirty ass.

A pause.

 **DEAN**  
All right, so I be a sucky artist. I be bout ta peep you around, Lucas.

DEAN headz back ta SAM n' ANDREA. LUCAS picks up tha picture.  
DEAN approaches ANDREA n' SAM.

 **ANDREA**  
Lucas aint holla'd a word, not even ta mah dirty ass. Not since his fuckin lil' dadz accident.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, our crazy asses heard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Sorry.

ANDREA nods.

 **SAM**  
What is tha doctors saying?

 **ANDREA**  
That itz a kind of post-traumatic stress.

 **SAM**  
That can't be easy as fuck . For either of you, biatch.

 **ANDREA**  
We moved up in wit mah dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude helps up all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! It aint nuthin but just...when I be thinkin bout what tha fuck Lucas went through, what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka saw...

A pause.

 **DEAN**  
Kidz is strong. You'd be surprised what tha fuck they can deal with.

LUCAS leaves tha bench, headin fo' tha group.

 **ANDREA**  
Yo ass know, he used ta have such game yo. Dude was hard ta keep up with, ta rap tha real deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Now he just sits there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Drawin dem pictures, playin wit dem army men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I just wish-

LUCAS strutts up, carryin a picture.

 **ANDREA**  
Yo dopeie.

LUCAS handz DEAN tha picture.

 **DEAN**  
Thanks. Thanks, Lucas.

It aint nuthin but a picture of tha Carlton house.  
LUCAS headz back ta tha bench.

 _CARLTON HOUSE_  
_INT. CARLTON HOUSE - DAY_

BILL is chillin up in a cold-ass lil chair, bustin nothing. WILL approaches.

 **WILL**  
Yo, Dad, biatch? You, you should probably smoke something. I'ma cook up some fuckin dinner, aiiight?

BILL say not a god damn thang n' turns his head away.

_INT. KITCHEN - DAY_

WILL washes a gangbangin' fish all up in tha sink yo. Dude do not turn tha wata off when his thugged-out lil' punk-ass begins cuttin up tha fish. Da wata turns brown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. WILL notices n' shuts off tha gin n juice n' shit. Black wata comes up all up in tha drain n' fills tha sink. WILL rolls up his sleeve ta pull tha plug outta tha drain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude comes up wit tha plug yo, but tha wata don't drain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude sticks his thugged-out arm back up in tha water, n' suttin' grabs it, pullin his ass tha fuck into tha sink yo. Dude drowns. Da wata drains.


	15. 1.03 Dean in the Water (ACT TWO)

_MOTEL_  
_INT. MOTEL - DAY_

DEAN is inside tha motel room chillin on a funky-ass bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM opens tha door n' comes in.

 **SAM**  
So, I be thinkin itz safe ta say we can rule up Nessie.

 **DEAN  
** What do you mean?

SAM sits next ta DEAN.

 **SAM**  
I just drove past tha Carlton house. There was a ambulizzle there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Will Carlton is dead as fuckin fried chicken.

 **DEAN**  
Dude drowned?

 **SAM**  
Yep. In tha sink.

 **DEAN**  
What tha hell, biatch? So you right, dis aint a cold-ass lil creature. Us dudes dealin wit suttin' else.

 **SAM**  
Yeah yo, but what?

 **DEAN**  
I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. Wata wraith, maybe, biatch? Some kind of demon, biatch? I mean, suttin' dat controls water...wata dat be reppin tha same source.

 **SAM**  
Da lake.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah.

 **SAM**  
Which would explain why itz uppin tha body count. Da lake is draining. It'll be dry up in all dem months. Whatever dis thang is, whatever it wants, itz hustlin outta time.

 **DEAN**  
And if it can git all up in tha pipes, it can git ta mah playas, almost anywhere.

DEAN standz up.

 **DEAN**  
This is gonna happen again n' again n' again soon.

DEAN sits down on a cold-ass lil chair.

 **SAM**  
And our phat asses do know one other thang fo' sure. We know dis has gots suttin' ta do wit Bizzle Carlton.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, it took both his kids.

 **SAM**  
And I've been askin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lucass dad, Chris-Bizzle Carltonz godson.

 **DEAN**  
Letz go pay Mista Muthafuckin Carlton a visit.

 _LAKE  
_ _EXT. LAKE - DAY_

BILL CARLTON is chillin on tha bench on tha dock.

 **SAM (voiceover)**  
Mista Muthafuckin Carlton?

BILL looks up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN approach.

 **SAM**  
We'd like ta ask you all dem thangs, if you don't mind.

 **DEAN**  
We from the, tha Department-

 **BILL**  
I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit whoz ass you with. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I answered enough thangs todizzle.

 **SAM**  
Yo crazy-ass lil hustla holla'd da perved-out muthafucka saw suttin' up in dat lake. What bout yo slick ass, biatch? Yo ass eva peep anythang up there, biatch? Mista Muthafuckin Carlton, Sophiez drownin n' Willz dirtnap-we be thinkin there might be a cold-ass lil connection ta you or yo' crew.

 **BILL**  
My fuckin lil pimps is gone. It's...itz worse than dying. Go away. Please.

SAM n' DEAN head back ta tha car.

 **SAM**  
What do you think?

 **DEAN**  
Aw, I be thinkin tha skanky muthafuckaz been all up in hell. I also be thinkin he not spittin some lyrics ta our asses something.

SAM leans on tha Impala.

 **SAM**  
So now what?

DEAN goes still.

 **SAM**  
What tha fuck iz it?

 **DEAN**  
Huh.

DEAN is lookin all up in tha Carlton house.

 **DEAN**  
Maybe Bizzlez not tha only one whoz ass knows something.

DEAN pulls up tha picture LUCAS brought him, which iz of tha Carlton house. DEAN looks at SAM.

_DEVINS/BARR HOUSE_

**ANDREA (voiceover)**  
I be sorry yo, but I don't be thinkin itz a phat idea.

 **DEAN (voiceover)**  
I just need ta rap ta his muthafuckin ass.

_INT yo. HOUSE - DAY_

SAM n' DEAN is inside ANDREAz house, poppin' off ta her muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN**  
Just fo' all dem minutes.

 **ANDREA**  
Dude won't say anything. What goodz it gonna do?

 **SAM**  
Andrea, we be thinkin mo' playas might git hurt. We be thinkin somethingz goin' down up there.

 **ANDREA**  
My fuckin homeboy, tha others, they just drowned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Thatz all.

 **DEAN**  
If thatz what tha fuck you straight-up believe, then we'll go. But if you be thinkin there be a even a possibilitizzle dat suttin' else could be goin on here, please let me rap ta yo' son.

_INT. LUCAS'S BEDROOM - DAY_

LUCAS is coloring, toy soldiers standin round his muthafuckin ass. DEAN, ANDREA, n' SAM approach tha doorway. DEAN entas n' crouches down by LUCAS.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, Lucas. Yo ass remember me son?

LUCAS has drawn two mo' picturez of a red bicycle.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass know, I, uh, I wanted ta fuck you fo' dat last drawing. But tha thang is, I need yo' help again.

LUCAS is drawin a thug up in gin n juice n' shit. DEAN opens tha doggy den picture n' puts it down up in front of LUCAS.

 **DEAN**  
How tha fuck did you know ta draw this, biatch? Did yo dirty ass know suttin' shitty was gonna happen, biatch? Maybe you could nod yeaaaa or no fo' mah dirty ass.

LUCAS keeps coloring.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass is trippin like a muthafucka. It aint nuthin but all gravy. I understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! See, when I was yo' age, I saw suttin' real shitty happen ta mah mom, n' I was scared, like a muthafucka. I didn't feel like rappin', just like you, biatch. But see, mah mom-I know dat biiiiatch wanted mah crazy ass ta be brave. I be thinkin bout dat every last muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! And I do mah dopest ta be brave fo' realz. And maybe, yo' daddy wants you ta be brave like a muthafucka.

LUCAS drops his crayon n' looks up at DEAN yo. Dude handz DEAN a picture of a white church, a yellow house, n' a funky-ass pimp wit a funky-ass blue basebizzle cap n' red bicycle up in front of a wooden fence.

 **DEAN**  
Thanks, Lucas.

Bizzley Squierz "Too Daze Gone" starts ta play.

 **MUSIC**  
Walkin all up in tha streets just tha other day

 _CAR_  
_INT. IMPALA - DAY_

DEAN n' SAM is up in tha Impala, SAM holdin tha church picture.

 **MUSIC**  
Movin'

 **DEAN**  
Andrea holla'd tha kid never drew like dat till his fuckin lil' daddy died.

 **SAM**  
There is cases-goin all up in a traumatic experience could make playas mo' sensitizzle ta premonitions, psycho tendencies.

 **DEAN**  
Whateverz up there, what tha fuck if Lucas is tappin tha fuck into it somehow, biatch? I mean, itz only a matta of time before some muthafucka else drowns, so if you gots a funky-ass betta lead, please.

 **SAM**  
All right, we gots another doggy den ta find.

 **DEAN**  
Da only problem is there be a on some thousand yellow two-stories up in dis county ridin' solo.

SAM looks all up in tha picture.

 **SAM**  
See dis church, biatch? I bet there be a less than a thousand of dem round here.

 **DEAN**  
Oh, College Boy be thinkin da perved-out muthafucka so smart.

 **MUSIC**  
Too daze gone  
I be broke down, insufferable  
My fuckin mind is on tha blink

 **SAM**  
Yo ass know, um...

 **MUSIC**  
It aint nuthin but lata than you think

 **SAM**  
What you holla'd bout Mom...

 **MUSIC**  
And I be too daze gone

 **SAM**  
Yo ass never holla'd at mah crazy ass dat before.

 **DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but no big-ass deal.

 **MUSIC**  
Went ta peep a gangbangin' playa just tha other day

 **DEAN**  
Oh God, our asses aint gonna gotta gangbang or anything, is we?

 **MUSIC**  
Movin'

 _SWEENEY HOUSE_  
_EXT. CHURCH - DAY_

SAM n' DEAN approach a white church shaped like tha one up in LUCASz picture. DEAN holdz up tha picture n' looks at it, comparin it ta tha scene up in front of him; there be a a yellow doggy den next ta tha church n' a wooden fence near tha house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at DEAN. They both look up all up in tha church n' cross tha street ta tha house.

 **DEAN (voiceover)**  
We sorry ta bother you, ma'am-

 _INT._ _SWEENEY HOUSE - DAY_

DEAN n' SAM is inside tha house, bustin lyrics ta a OLD WOMAN, MRS. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SWEENEY.

 **DEAN**  
-but do a lil pimp live here, by chance, biatch? Dude might wear a funky-ass blue bizzle cap, has a red bicycle.

 **SWEENEY**  
No sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Not fo' a straight-up long time. Peterz been gone fo' thirty-five muthafuckin years now, nahmeean?

Therez a picture of PETER on tha side table. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SWEENEY sighs.

 **SWEENEY**  
Da five-o never-I never had any scam what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude just disappeared.

SAM points up ta DEAN a fuckin shitload of toy soldiers on a table.

 **SWEENEY**  
Losin him-you know, it's...itz worse than dying.

DEAN glances at SAM.

 **DEAN**  
Did da ruffneck disappear from here, biatch? I mean, from dis house?

 **SWEENEY**  
Dude was supposed ta ride his bike straight home afta school, n' he never flossed up.

DEAN picks a picture off tha mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. There is two thugs up in tha picture, one PETER wit a funky-ass bicycle. DEAN readz from tha back of tha picture.

 **DEAN**  
Peta Sweeney n' Bizzley Carlton, nineteen seventy.

 _LAKE_  
_EXT. LAKE - DAY_

BILL is chillin on tha bench on tha dock, poppin' off ta his dirty ass, or ta tha lake.

 **BILL**  
You've taken every last muthafuckin thang, everyone. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I gots not a god damn thang left. I didn't understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I didn't believe. Now I be thinkin I do. I be thinkin I finally know what tha fuck you want.

 _IMPALA_  
_INT. IMPALA - DAY_

DEAN n' SAM is driving.

 **SAM**  
Okay, dis lil pimp Peta Sweeney vanishes, n' dis be all connected ta Bizzle Carlton somehow.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, Bizzle shizzle as a muthafucka seems ta be hidin something, huh?

 **SAM**  
And Bizzle, tha playas he loves, they all gettin punished.

 **DEAN**  
So what tha fuck if Bizzle did suttin' ta Peter?

 **SAM**  
What if Bizzle capped him?

 **DEAN**  
Peterz spirit would be furious. It'd want revenge. It aint nuthin but possible.

_EXT. CARLTON HOUSE - DAY_

Da Impala pulls up in front of tha Carlton house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN approach tha house.

 **SAM**  
Mista Muthafuckin Carlton?

An engine roars.

_EXT. LAKE - DAY_

SAM n' DEAN go round tha doggy den ta peep BILL goin up on tha lake up in his boat.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, check it out.

SAM n' DEAN run ta tha end of tha dock, yelling.

 **DEAN**  
Mista Muthafuckin Carlton! Yo ass need ta come back! Come outta tha gin n juice playa! Turn tha boat around!

 **SAM**  
Mista Muthafuckin Carlton!

BILL ignores dem n' keeps going. Da wata rises up n' flips BILLz boat over n' shit. Well shiiiit, it n' he vanish.


	16. 1.03 Dead in the Water (ACT THREE)

_POLICE STATION_   
_INT. POLICE STATION - DAY_

LUCAS is chillin up in a cold-ass lil chair, rockin back n' forth fo' realz. ANDREA is chillin next ta him, holdin a paper bag n' a plastic container.

 **ANDREA**  
Baby, whatz wrong?

SAM, DEAN, n' JAKE DEVINS strutt up in tha door fo' realz. ANDREA looks over.

 **ANDREA**  
Sam, Dean.

ANDREA standz up, puttin tha bag n' container on her chair.

 **ANDREA**  
I didn't expect ta peep you here.

 **JAKE**  
So now you on a gangbangin' first-name basis. What is you bustin here?

 **ANDREA**  
I brought you dinner.

 **JAKE**  
I be sorry, dopeheart, I don't straight-up have tha time.

 **ANDREA**  
I heard bout Bizzle Carlton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Is it true, biatch? Is suttin' goin on wit tha lake?

 **JAKE**  
Right now our phat asses don't give a fuck what tha fuck tha real deal is. But I be thinkin it might be betta if you n' Lucas went on home.

LUCAS looks up n' whines, lookin stricken; he jumps up n' grabs DEANz arm.

 **DEAN**  
Lucas, hey, what tha fuck is it?

 **DEAN**  
Lucas.

 **ANDREA**  
Lucas.

 **DEAN**  
Lucas, itz all gravy. It aint nuthin but all gravy. Yo, Lucas, itz all gravy. It aint nuthin but all gravy.

ANDREA pulls LUCAS away from DEAN n' leadz his ass outside. LUCAS don't look away from DEAN.  
JAKE throws down his jacket n' goes tha fuck into his crib. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN follow.

 **JAKE**  
Okay, just so I be clear, you see...suttin' battle Bizzlez boat, bustin Bizzle-who be a straight-up phat swimmer, by tha way-into tha drink, n' you never peep his ass again?

DEAN glances at SAM.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, dat bout sums it up.

 **JAKE**  
And I be supposed ta believe this, even though I've already sonar-swept dat entire lake, biatch? And what tha fuck you describin is impossible, biatch? And you not straight-up Wildlife Service?

DEAN looks surprised.

 **JAKE**  
Thatz right, I checked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Departmentz never heard of y'all two.

 **DEAN**  
See, now, we can explain that.

 **JAKE**  
Enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Please. Da only reason you breathang free air is one of Bizzlez neighbors saw his ass steerin up dat boat just before you done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So, our crazy asses gotz a cold-ass lil couple options here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I can arrest you fo' impersonatin posse officials n' git freaky wit you as material witnesses ta Bizzle Carltonz disappearance. Or, we can chalk dis all up ta a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass day, you git tha fuck into yo' car, you put dis hood up in yo' rearview mirror, n' you don't eva darken mah stoop again.

 **SAM**  
Door number two soundz good.

 **JAKE**  
Thatz tha one I'd pick.

_DEVINS/BARR HOUSE_   
_INT. LUCAS'S BEDROOM - NIGHT_

LUCAS is up in his bangin room wit tha toy soldiers, drawin another black spiral. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. ANDREA strutts by his fuckin lil' door up in a robe.

 **ANDREA**  
Baby, what tha fuck is you bustin up, biatch? Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Letz git all up in bed.

ANDREA picks LUCAS up.

_IMPALA_   
_INT. IMPALA - NIGHT_

DEAN n' SAM is up in tha Impala, waitin at a traffic light fo' realz. A sign say I-43 Uptown ta Milwaukee is ta tha left. Da light turns green. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Impala don't move.

 **SAM**  
Green.

 **DEAN**  
What?

 **SAM**  
Lightz green.

DEAN turns right.

 **SAM**  
Uh, tha interstatez tha other way.

 **DEAN**  
I know.

_INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT_

ANDREA is up in tha bathroom. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch plugs tha drain of her tub n' turns tha wata on.

_INT. IMPALA - NIGHT_

SAM n' DEAN is up in tha car.

 **SAM**  
But Dean, dis thang, I be thinkin itz over.

 **DEAN**  
I aint so sure.

 **SAM**  
If Bizzle murdered Peta Sweeney n' Peterz spirit gots its revenge, case closed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da spirit should be at rest.

 **DEAN**  
All right, so what tha fuck if we take off n' dis thang aint done, biatch? Yo ass know, what tha fuck if we've missed something, biatch? What if mo' playas git hurt?

 **SAM**  
But why would you be thinkin that?

 **DEAN**  
Because Lucas was straight-up trippin like a muthafucka.

 **SAM**  
Thatz what tha fuck dis be about?

 **DEAN**  
I just don't wanna leave dis hood until I know tha kidz all gravy.

 **SAM**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass, biatch? And what tha fuck have you done wit mah brother?

DEAN glances at SAM.

 **DEAN**  
Shut up.

_DEVINS/BARR HOUSE_   
_INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT_

Da bathtub is mostly full n' ANDREA tests tha wata wit one hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch takes off her robe n' gets up in tha gin n juice n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch leans back, grabs a washcloth, n' closes her eyes. Da wata comin outta tha faucet turns brown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. ANDREA starts washin her muthafuckin ass wit tha cloth, then opens her eyes. Da wata is entirely brown now, nahmeean, biatch? Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screams n' tries ta git outta tha tub yo, but suttin' drags her down.

_INT yo. HALLWAY - NIGHT_

LUCAS poundz on tha bathroom door.

_INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT_

ANDREAz head is pulled under tha gin n juice n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch pulls it out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is pulled under again; lather, rinse, repeat. LUCAS keeps poundin fo' realz. ANDREA is invisible under tha water.

_EXT yo. HOUSE - NIGHT_

SAM n' DEAN have arrived.

 **SAM**  
Is you shizzle bout this, biatch? It aint nuthin but pretty late, man.  
DEAN rings tha doorbell fo' realz. At dat moment, LUCAS opens tha door, desperately afraid.

 **DEAN**  
Lucas, biatch? Lucas!

LUCAS takes off. DEAN n' SAM follow his ass to:

_INT yo. HALLWAY - NIGHT_

Wata is pourin up from under tha bathroom door n' down tha stairs. LUCAS starts poundin on tha bathroom door again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN pushes his ass over ta SAM n' kicks up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. LUCAS grabs DEAN, so SAM runs tha fuck into tha bathroom n' sticks his thugged-out arms up in tha tub, tryin ta pull ANDREA out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is pulled back under yo, but SAM keeps pullin until ANDREA be all tha way out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch starts coughin up water.`


	17. 1.03 Dead in the Water (ACT FOUR)

_DEVINS/BARR HOUSE_   
_INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY_

Dawn is breaking. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' ANDREA sit up in tha livin room fo' realz. ANDREA is dry n' bustin laid back threadz.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass betta tell me son?

 **ANDREA**  
No.

DEAN is lookin all up in notebooks on bookshelves.

 **ANDREA**  
It don't make any sense.

ANDREA starts crying.

 **ANDREA**  
I be goin crazy.

Bitch puts her grill up in her hands.

 **SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, you not. Tell me what tha fuck happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Everything.

 **ANDREA**  
I heard...I thought I heard...there was dis voice.

 **SAM**  
What done did it say?

 **ANDREA**  
It holla'd...it holla'd 'come fuck wit me'.

ANDREA sobs.

 **ANDREA**  
Whatz happening?

DEAN pulls up a scrapbook dat say "Jake - 12 muthafuckin years old" n' opens it, flippin pages yo. Dude closes it again n' again n' again n' goes ta SAM n' ANDREA; he puts tha book down up in front of ANDREA, open ta a picture of Explorer Troop 37.

 **DEAN**  
Do you recognize tha lil playas up in these pictures?

 **ANDREA**  
What, biatch? Um, um, no. I mean, except thatz mah daddy right there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho yo. Dude must done been bout twelve up in these pictures.

Bitch moves her finger over ta another picture of JAKE as a cold-ass lil child; he is standin next ta PETER. DEAN looks at SAM.

 **DEAN**  
Chris Barrz drowning. Da connection wasn't ta Bizzle Carlton. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it must done been ta tha sheriff.

 **SAM**  
Bizzle n' tha sheriff-they was both involved wit Peter.

 **ANDREA**  
What bout Chris, biatch? My fuckin dad-what is you poppin' off about?

DEAN looks sideways.

 **DEAN**  
Lucas?

LUCAS is starin up tha window.

 **DEAN**  
Lucas, what tha fuck is it?

LUCAS opens tha door n' strutts outside. Everyone bigs up.

 **ANDREA**  
Lucas, honey?

LUCAS stops n' looks all up in tha ground, then at DEAN.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass n' Lucas git back ta tha doggy den n' stay there, aiiight?

ANDREA pulls LUCAS back ta tha house. DEAN n' SAM presumably fetch shovels from tha Impala, before they start digging. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAMz shovel clanks against something. They dig wit they handz n' pull up a red bicycle.  
 ****  
SAM  
Peterz bike.

 **JAKE**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?

SAM n' DEAN turn around; JAKE is there, pointin a glock at dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **SAM**  
Put tha glock down, Jake.

SAM n' DEAN drop tha shovels.

 **JAKE**  
How tha fuck did you know dat was there?

 **DEAN**  
What happened, biatch? Yo ass n' Bizzle capped Peter, drowned his ass up in tha lake n' then buried tha bike, biatch? Yo ass can't bury tha real deal, Jake. Nothang stays buried.

ANDREA sees JAKE wit tha glock aimed at SAM n' DEAN. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch talks ta LUCAS.

 **ANDREA**  
Go ta yo' room, dopeie. Now. Lock tha door n' wait fo' mah dirty ass. Don't come out.

LUCAS runs off fo' realz. ANDREA goes outside.

 **JAKE**  
I don't give a fuck what tha fuck tha hell you poppin' off about.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass n' Bizzle capped Peta Sweeney thirty-five muthafuckin years ago. Thatz what tha fuck tha hell I be poppin' off about.

ANDREA runs up.

 **ANDREA**  
Dad!

 **DEAN**  
And now you gots one seriously pissed-off spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither.

 **SAM**  
It aint nuthin but gonna take Andrea, Lucas, mah playas you love. It aint nuthin but gonna drown dem wild-ass muthafuckas fo' realz. And itz gonna drag they bodies Dogg knows where, so you can feel tha same pain Peterz momma felt fo' realz. And then, afta that, itz gonna take you, n' it aint gonna stop until it do.

 **JAKE**  
Yeah, n' how tha fuck do you know that?

 **SAM**  
Because thatz exactly what tha fuck it did ta Bizzle Carlton.

 **JAKE**  
Listen ta yourselves, both of you, biatch. Yo ass is insane.

 **DEAN**  
I don't straight-up give a ratz ass what tha fuck you be thinkin of us. But if we gonna brang down dis spirit, we need ta find tha remains, salt them, n' burn dem tha fuck into dust. Now tell me you buried Peta somewhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Tell me you didn't just let his ass go up in tha lake.

LUCAS didn't git all up in his bangin room; he outside watching.

 **PETER**  
Come fuck wit mah dirty ass.

LUCAS bigs up tha voice.

 **ANDREA**  
Dad, be any of dis true?

 **JAKE**  
No. Don't dig dem wild-ass muthafuckas. They're liars n' they dangerous.

 **ANDREA**  
Somethang tried ta drown mah dirty ass. Chris took a dirt nap on dat lake. Dad, look all up in mah face.

JAKE do.

 **ANDREA**  
Tell me you-you didn't bust a cap up in mah playas.

JAKE looks away.

 **ANDREA**  
Oh mah Dogg.

 **JAKE**  
Bizzley n' I was all up in tha lake. Peta was tha smallest one. We always bullied his ass yo, but dis time, it gots rough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Us thugs was holdin his head under tha gin n juice n' shit. Us dudes didn't mean to. But our crazy asses held his ass under too long n' da ruffneck drowned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We let tha body go, n' it sank.

DEAN glances at SAM.

 **JAKE**  
Oh, Andrea, we was kids. Us thugs was so trippin like a muthafucka. Dat shiznit was a mistake. But, Andrea, ta say dat I have anythang ta do wit these drownings, wit Chris, cuz of some pimp, biatch? It aint nuthin but not rational.

 **DEAN**  
All right, dig me, all of you, biatch. We need ta git you away from dis lake, as far as we can, n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

ANDREA turns her head n' spots LUCAS goin down ta tha lake. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch gasps.

 **JAKE**  
Lucas!

They all run up ta tha dock. LUCAS is leanin over tha side, reachin fo' a toy soldier up in tha water.

 **PETER**  
Come fuck wit mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN**  
Lucas!

 **ANDREA**  
Lucas muthafucka! Baby, stay where yo ass is!

A hand comes up n' pulls LUCAS tha fuck into tha gin n juice n' shit. Da adults have reached tha edge of tha lake. JAKE stops. PETERz head is visible; JAKE recognizes his muthafuckin ass. DEAN n' SAM keep hustlin ta tha end of tha dock n' dive in.

 **ANDREA**  
Oh mah God!

Bitch takes off her jacket ta jump in.

 **SAM**  
Andrea, stay there!

 **ANDREA**  
No! Lucas!

 **SAM**  
We bout ta git him! Just stay on tha dock!

SAM dives under again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN comes up fo' realz. A minute later, so do SAM.

 **DEAN**  
Sam?

SAM shakes his head.

 **ANDREA**  
Lucas, where is yo slick ass?

JAKE takes off his jacket as SAM n' DEAN dive back down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. JAKE wades in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. ANDREA looks over.

 **JAKE**  
Peter, if you can hear mah dirty ass...please, Peter, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I be so-I be soopa-doopa sorry bout dat bullshit.

 **ANDREA**  
Daddy, no!

 **JAKE**  
Peter n' shit. Lucas-he's, he just a lil boy. Please, it aint his wild lil' fault, itz mine. Please take mah dirty ass.

DEAN n' SAM come up fo' air.

 **DEAN**  
Jake, no!

PETER surfaces.

 **JAKE**  
Just let it be over!

JAKE is dragged down.

 **ANDREA**  
Daddy dawwwwg! Daddy dawwwwg! No!

DEAN n' SAM dive down again.

 **ANDREA**  
No!

SAM comes up, bobbin his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! ANDREA grills 'no!'

DEAN comes up, holdin LUCAS, whoz ass aint moving.


	18. 1.03 Dead in the Water (EPILOGUE)

_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY_

DEAN n' SAM strutt outta tha motel. DEAN opens tha hoopty door n' SAM tosses a thugged-out duffel in.

 **SAM**  
Look, our asses aint gonna save everybody.

 **DEAN**  
I know.

 **ANDREA**  
Sam, Dean.

ANDREA strutts up wit LUCAS.

 **DEAN**  
Hey.

 **ANDREA**  
We glad we caught you, biatch. Us playas just, um, we made you lunch fo' tha road.

LUCAS is carryin a tray of sandwiches.

 **ANDREA**  
Lucas insisted on makin tha sandwiches his dirty ass.

 **LUCAS**  
Can I give it ta dem now?

 **ANDREA**  
Of course.

ANDREA smilez n' kisses LUCASz head.

 **DEAN**  
Come on, Lucas, letz load dis tha fuck into tha car.

 **SAM**  
How tha fuck you holdin up?

 **ANDREA**  
It aint nuthin but just gonna take a long-ass time ta sort all up in every last muthafuckin thang, you know?

SAM sighs.

 **SAM**  
Andrea, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

ANDREA shakes her head.

 **ANDREA**  
Yo ass saved mah son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I can't ask fo' mo' than dis shit. Dad loved mah dirty ass yo. Dude loved Lucas. No matta what tha fuck da ruffneck did, I just gotta hold on ta that.

DEAN puts tha sandwiches up in tha car.

 **DEAN**  
All right, if you gonna be poppin' off now, dis be a straight-up blingin phrase, so I want you ta repeat it one mo' time.

 **LUCAS**  
Zeppelin rules!

 **DEAN**  
Thatz right. Up high.

DEAN holdz his hand up fo' a high-five. LUCAS obliges, grinning.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass take care of yo' mom, aiiight?

 **LUCAS**  
All right.

ANDREA comes up n' kisses DEAN.

 **ANDREA**  
Nuff props, biatch.

DEAN be thinkin a minute, then scratches his head n' goes round tha car.

 **DEAN**  
Sam, move yo' ass. We gonna run outta daylight before our crazy asses hit tha road.

DEAN gets up in tha car, then SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shiznitty Companyz "Movin' On" starts ta play when DEAN starts tha engine.

 **MUSIC**  
I gots ta move on n' I never seem ta slow down

SAM n' DEAN smile at ANDREA n' LUCAS wavin peace out.

 **MUSIC**  
Yeah yeah yeah, I be movin on, movin on from hood ta town

SAM n' DEAN drive away.

_EXT. ROAD - DAY_

**MUSIC**  
Yeah yeah yeah, I never seem ta slow down

Da Impala drives on.


	19. 1.04 Phantom Traveler (NOW)

A still frame of a tropical beach scene yo. Hawaiian-style noize plays.

 _INT fo'_ realz _. AIRPORT - DAY_

A plane takin off is heard.  
A straight-up NERVOUS MAN up in a suit, GEORGE PHELPS, sits up. PHELPS checks his cold-ass ticket n' entas tha bathroom.

 **INTERCOM**  
Nuff props fo' flyin United Britannia Airlines.

 _INT fo'_ realz _. AIRPORT BATHROOM - DAY_

PHELPS is leanin over tha sink, splashin wata on his wild lil' grill fo' realz. A SECOND MAN comes outta tha stall area n' dries his hands.

 **SECOND MAN**  
Nervous flyer?

 **PHELPS**  
It aint nuthin but dat obvious, huh?

 **SECOND MAN**  
Yo ass know, what tha fuck is tha oddz of dyin up in a plane crash, biatch? I mean, what, biatch? Twenty thousand ta one?

PHELPS watches his ass go.

 **PHELPS**  
Wow. That's, uh, straight-up reassuring. Nuff props, biatch.

Above his head, a cold-ass lil cloud of black particlez exits a vent, swirls round his head, n' entas his wild lil' fuckin eyes.

_INT. PLANE - DAY_

**PILOT**  
Thanks.

Da PILOT, CHUCK, turns n' addresses a FLIGHT ATTENDANT, AMANDA.

 **CHUCK**  
Amanda, how tha fuck is yo dirty ass todizzle?

 **AMANDA**  
I be bustin just fine, Chuck.

AMANDA addresses a PASSENGER.

 **AMANDA**  
Welcome aboard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 15C towardz tha back of tha plane, on tha right.

 **PASSENGER**  
Nuff props, biatch.

AMANDA addresses PHELPS.

 **AMANDA  
** Have a sick flight, sir.

PHELPS turns, n' we n' AMANDA peep dat his wild lil' fuckin eyes is straight-up black, even tha whites.

 **PHELPS**  
Oh, I be countin on dat shit.

AMANDA blinks nuff muthafuckin times, watchin PHELPS, n' shakes her head.

 **AMANDA**  
Um...uh, 11F, thatz tha middle of tha plane, on...

 **PASSENGER 2**  
Nuff props, biatch.

 **AMANDA**  
...the left.

_INT. PLANE - DAY_

**COPILOT**  
In just all dem minutes our flight crew will begin room steez up in tha cabin...

PHELPS turns ta his seatmate.

 **PHELPS**  
Excuse mah dirty ass. Do you know how tha fuck long we've been up?

 **WOMAN**  
Oh, uh...

Da WOMAN checks her watch.

 **WOMAN**  
Bout forty minutes.

 **PHELPS**  
Wow. Time straight-up do fly, huh, biatch? Excuse mah dirty ass. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I gots ta stretch mah legs.

PHELPS gets up, squeezes past tha WOMAN, n' headz ta tha back of tha plane. When he reaches tha rear exit, he grasps tha release handle fo' realz. A YOUNG MAN up in a aisle seat, MAX JAFFEY, notices his muthafuckin ass.

 **MAX**  
Yo, what tha fuck tha hell is you bustin?!

PHELPS turns ta peep MAX, eyes black again, then rips tha door open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude goes flyin up tha window, tha door flies off tearin half a win off tha plane, n' tha plane goes down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. AMANDA strugglez ta git ta a seat and, afta tha oxygen masks deploy, ta git one over her face. MAX, CHUCK, n' tha COPILOT already have dem on.


	20. 1.04 Phantom Traveler (ACT ONE)

_INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY_  


DEAN be asleep on his stomach.  
As tha door opens, DEAN awakens n' slips a hand under his thugged-out lil' pillow fo' a weapon.  
As tha pimpin' muthafucka turns ta look, da perved-out muthafucka sees SAM entering, carryin fruity-ass malt liquor n' pastries.  


**SAM**  
Morning, sunshine.  


**DEAN**  
What time is it?  


**SAM**  
Uh, itz bout five forty-five.  


**DEAN**  
In tha morning?  


**SAM**  
Yep.  


**DEAN**  
Where do tha dizzle go?  


DEAN sits up.  


**DEAN**  
Did yo dirty ass git any chill last night?  


**SAM**  
Yeah, I grabbed a cold-ass lil couple hours.  


**DEAN**  
Liar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. 'Cause I was up at three, n' you was watchin a George Foreman infomercial.  


**SAM**  
Yo, what tha fuck can I say, biatch? It aint nuthin but rivetin TV.  


**DEAN**  
When was tha last time you gots a phat nightz chill?  


**SAM**  
I don't give a fuck, a lil while, I guess. It aint nuthin but not a funky-ass big-ass deal.  


**DEAN**  
Yeah, it is.  


**SAM**  
Look, I appreciate yo' concern-  


**DEAN**  
Oh, I aint concerned bout you, biatch. It aint nuthin but yo' thang ta keep mah ass kickin it, so I need you sharp.  


SAM shrugs.  


**DEAN**  
Seriously, is you still havin nightmares bout Jess?  


SAM crosses tha room, sits on tha other bed, n' handz a gangbangin' fruity-ass malt liquor ta DEAN.  


**SAM**  
Yeah. But it aint just her n' shit. It aint nuthin but every last muthafuckin thang. I just forgot, you know, biatch? This thang. Man, it gets ta you, biatch.  


**DEAN**  
Yo ass can't let dat shit. Yo ass can't brang it home like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.  


**SAM**  
So, what, biatch? All dis dat shit...never keeps you up at night?  


DEAN shakes his head.  


**SAM**  
Never, biatch? Yo ass is never afraid?  


**DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, not straight-up.  


SAM reaches under DEAN'S pillow ta pull up a big-ass hustlin knife n' holdz it up as evidence.  
DEAN takes tha knife back.  


**DEAN**  
Thatz not fear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. That is precaution.  


**SAM**  
All right, whatever n' shit. I be too chillaxed ta argue.  


DEANz beeper rings.  


**DEAN**  
Hello?  


_INT. OFFICE - DAY, alternatin wit INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY_  


**JERRY**  
Dean, it's, uh, itz Jeremy Panowski. Yo ass n' yo' daddy helped mah crazy ass up a cold-ass lil couple muthafuckin years back.  


**DEAN**  
Oh, right, yeah. Up up in Kittanning, Pennsylvania, tha poltergeist thang. It aint nuthin but not back, is it?  


**JERRY**  
No. No. Thank god, no. But itz suttin' else, and...uh, I be thinkin it could be a shitload worse.  


**DEAN**  
What tha fuck iz it?  


**JERRY**  
Can we rap up in person?  


DEAN eyes SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM eyes back.  


_EXT. FIELD - DAY_  


Da Impala drives along a road.  


_INT yo. HANGAR - DAY_  


**JERRY**  
Thanks fo' makin tha trip so quick. I ought ta be bustin you muthafuckas a gangbangin' favor, not tha other way around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dean n' yo' daddy straight-up helped mah crazy ass out.  


**SAM**  
Yeah, tha pimpin' muthafucka holla'd at mah dirty ass. Dat shiznit was a poltergeist?  


**MAN**  
Poltergeist, biatch? Man, I loved dat porno.  


**JERRY**  
Yo, no muthafuckaz poppin' off ta you, biatch. Keep strutting. Damn right dat shiznit was a poltergeist, practically tore our doggy den apart. Tell you something, if it wasn't fo' you n' yo' dad, I probably wouldn't be kickin dat shit, yo. Yo crazy-ass daddy holla'd you was off at college. Is dat right?  


**SAM**  
Yeah, I was. I'm-takin some time off.  


**JERRY**  
Well, da thug was real proud as a muthafucka of you, biatch. I could tell yo. Dude talked bout you all tha time.  


**SAM**  
Dude did?  


**JERRY**  
Yeah, you bet da ruffneck done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Oh, hey, you know I tried ta git a hold of his ass yo, but I couldn't yo. Howz da ruffneck bustin, anyway?  


**DEAN**  
He's, um, wrapped up in a thang n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.  


**JERRY**  
Well, we missin tha oldschool dude yo, but we git Sam. Even trade, huh?  


DEAN laughs.  


**SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, not by a long-ass shot.  


**JERRY**  
I gots suttin' I want you muthafuckas ta hear.  


_INT. OFFICE - DAY_  


**JERRY**  
I listened ta all dis bullshit fo' realz. And, well, it sounded like dat shiznit was up yo' alley.  


JERRY puts a CD up in a thugged-out drive.  


**JERRY**  
Normally I wouldn't have access ta all dis bullshit. It aint nuthin but tha cockpit voice recorder fo' United Britannia flight 2485. Dat shiznit was one of ours.  


**RECORDING**  
Maydizzle dawwwwg! Maydizzle dawwwwg! Repeat son! This is United Britania 2485-immediate instruction help! United Britanis 2485, I copy yo' message-May be fuckin wit some mechanical failure...  


There be a funky-ass bangin whooshin sound.  


**JERRY**  
Took off from here, crashed bout two hundred milez south. Now, they sayin mechanical failure. Cabin depressurized somehow. No Muthafucka knows why. Over a hundred playas on board. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Only seven gots up kickin dat shit, yo. Pilot was one yo. His name is Chuck Lambert. Dat punk a phat playa of mine. Chuck is, uh...well, he pretty fucked up bout dat shit. Like dat shiznit was his wild lil' fault.  


**SAM**  
Yo ass don't be thinkin it was?  


**JERRY**  
Fuck dat shit, I don't.  


**SAM**  
Jerry, we gonna need passenger manifests, um, a list of survivors.  


**JERRY**  
All right.  


**DEAN**  
And, uh, any way we can take a peep tha wreckage?  


**JERRY**  
Da other shiznit is no problem. But tha wreckage...fellas, tha NTSB has it locked down up in a evidence warehouse. No way I've gots dat kind of clearance.  


DEAN frowns.  


**DEAN**  
No problem.  


_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY_  


SAM is waitin by tha hoopty outside a Copy Jack fo' realz. As DEAN exits, a bangin biatch enters.  


**WOMAN**  
Hey  


**DEAN**  
Hi.  


**SAM**  
You've been up in there alllll muthafuckin day.  


DEAN holdz up two IDs.  


**DEAN**  
Yo ass can't rush perfection.  


**SAM**  
Homeland Security?  


SAM takes one of tha IDs.  


**SAM**  
Thatz pretty illegal, even fo' us.  


**DEAN**  
Yeah, well, itz suttin' new. Yo ass know, biatch? Muthafuckas aint peeped it a thousand times.  


They git up in tha car.  


**DEAN**  
All right, so, what tha fuck do you got?  


**SAM**  
Well, there be a thugged-out definitely EVP on tha cockpit voice recorder.  


**DEAN**  
Yeah?  


**SAM**  
Listen.  


Dude skits tha tape, which has been edited ta pull up a scratchy voice.  


**VOICE**  
No survivors!  


**DEAN**  
"No survivors", biatch? Whatz dat supposed ta mean, biatch? There was seven survivors.  


**SAM**  
Got mah dirty ass.  


**DEAN**  
So, what tha fuck is you thinking, biatch? A hustled flight?  


**SAM**  
Therez a long-ass history of spirits n' dirtnap omens on planes n' ships, like phantom travelers.  


**DEAN**  
Mm-hmm.  


**SAM**  
Or remember flight 401?  


**DEAN**  
Right. Da one dat crashed, tha airline salvaged a shitload of its parts, put it up in other planes, then tha spirit of tha pilot n' copilot hustled dem flights.  


**SAM**  
Right.  


**DEAN**  
Yep.  


**SAM**  
Maybe we gots a similar deal.  


**DEAN**  
All right, so, survivors, which one do you wanna rap ta first?  


**SAM**  
Third on tha list: Max Jaffey.  


**DEAN**  
Why him?  


**SAM**  
Well, fo' one, he from round here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. And two, if mah playas saw anythang weird, da ruffneck done did.  


**DEAN**  
What make you say that?  


**SAM**  
Well, I was rappin ta his crazy-ass mother.  


_EXT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY_  


Da Impala is parked up in front of tha gate ta a funky-ass buildin wit a sign up front readin RIVERFRONT PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL.  


**SAM (voiceover)**  
And dat dunkadelic hoe holla'd at mah crazy ass where ta find his muthafuckin ass.  


_EXT. GARDEN AT HOSPITAL - DAY_  


MAX is struttin wit a cold-ass lil cane between SAM n' DEAN.  


**MAX**  
I don't understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I already was rappin wit Homeland Security.  


**DEAN**  
Right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some freshly smoked up shiznit has come up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So if you could just answer a cold-ass lil couple thangs...  


**SAM**  
Just before tha plane went down, did you notice anything...unusual?  


**MAX**  
Like what?  


**DEAN**  
Strange lights, weird noises, maybe. Voices.  


**MAX**  
Fuck dat shit, nothing.  


**DEAN**  
Mista Muthafuckin Joffey-  


**MAX**  
Jaffey.  


**DEAN**  
Jaffey. Yo ass checked yo ass up in here, right?  


MAX nods.  


**DEAN**  
Can I ask why?  


**MAX**  
I was a lil stressed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I survived a plane crash.  


**DEAN**  
Uh huh fo' realz. And thatz what tha fuck terrified yo slick ass, biatch? Thatz what tha fuck you was afraid of?  


**MAX**  
I...I don't wanna rap bout dis no mo'.  


**DEAN**  
See, I be thinkin maybe you did peep suttin' up there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. We need ta know what.  


**MAX**  
No. Fuck dat shit, I was...delusional. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seein thangs.  


**DEAN**  
Dude was seein thangs.  


**SAM**  
It aint nuthin but all gravy. Then just tell our asses what tha fuck you thought you saw, please.  


**MAX**  
There was...this-man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And, uh, dat schmoooove muthafucka had these...eyes-these, uh...black eyes fo' realz. And I saw him-or I thought I saw his muthafuckin ass...  


**DEAN**  
What?  


**MAX**  
Dude opened tha emergency exit. But that's...thatz impossible, right, biatch? I mean, I looked it up. Therez suttin' like two tonz of heat on dat door.  


**DEAN**  
Yeah.  


**SAM**  
This dude, uh, did da perved-out muthafucka seem ta step tha fuck up n' disappear rapidly, biatch? It would look suttin' like a mirage?  


**MAX  
** What is you, nuts?  


SAM tilts his head.  


**MAX  
** Dude was a passenger n' shiznit yo. Dude was chillin right up in front of mah dirty ass.  


_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY  
  
_

Da IMPALA pulls up in front of a house.  


**SAM  
** So here we are. George Phelps, seat 20C.  


**DEAN  
** Hmm. Man, I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit how tha fuck phat yo ass is.  


DEAN n' SAM git outta tha car.  


**DEAN  
** Even yoked up on PCP or something, no way you can open up a emergency door durin a gangbangin' flight.  


**SAM  
** Not if you human. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But maybe dis muthafucka George was suttin' else. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some kind of creature, maybe, up in human form.  


**DEAN  
** Do dat be lookin like a cold-ass lil creaturez lair ta yo slick ass?  


SAM turns ta peep tha perfectly ordinary house.  


_INT. PHELPS HOUSE - DAY  
  
_

DEAN n' SAM sit across from MRS. PHELPS. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is lookin at a gangbangin' framed photograph.  


**SAM  
** This is yo' late homeboy?  


**MRS. PHELPS  
** Yes, dat was mah George.  


**DEAN  
** And you holla'd da thug was a...dentist?  


**MRS. PHELPS  
** Mm-hm yo. Dude was headed ta a cold-ass lil convention up in Denver n' shit. Do you know dat da thug was petrified ta fly, biatch? For his ass ta go like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all...  


**SAM  
** How tha fuck long was you married?  


**MRS. PHELPS  
** Thirteen years.  


**SAM  
** In all dat time, did you eva notice anything...strange bout him, anythang outta tha ordinary?  


**MRS. PHELPS  
** Well...uh, dat schmoooove muthafucka had acid reflux, if thatz what tha fuck you mean.  


DEAN n' SAM looks at each other.  


_EXT. PHELPS HOUSE - DAY  
  
_

SAM n' DEAN come down tha stairs up front.  


**SAM  
** I mean it goes without saying. Well shiiiit, it just don't make any sense.  


**DEAN  
** A middle-aged dentist wit a ulcer aint exactly evil personified. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass know what tha fuck we need ta do is git inside dat NTSB warehouse, hit up tha wreckage.  


**SAM  
** Okay. But if we gonna go dat route, we'd betta look tha part.  


_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SUIT RENTAL SHOP - DAY  
  
_

Black Sabbathz "Paranoid" begins ta play.  
DEAN n' SAM exit a store, "MORT'S fo' style", bustin crisp black suits wit white shirts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM adjusts his collar.  


**DEAN  
** Man, I be lookin like one of tha Blues Brothers.  


**SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, you don't. Yo ass look mo' like a...seventh-grader at his wild lil' first dance.  


**MUSIC  
** Finished wit mah biatch  
'Cause dat thugged-out biiiatch couldn't help me wit mah mind  


DEAN looks down at his dirty ass.  


**DEAN  
** I don't give a fuck bout dis thang.  


**MUSIC  
** Muthafuckas be thinkin I be insane  


**SAM  
** Hey. Yo ass want tha fuck into dat warehouse or not?  


**MUSIC  
** Because I be frownin all tha time  


DEAN starts tha Impala, SAM already chillin shotgun.  


_INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STORAGE WAREHOUSE - DAY  
  
_

They enta tha warehouse n' show they badges ta tha SECURITY GUARD, whoz ass nodz n' lets dem in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They strutt among plane wreckage; DEAN pulls up a thang n' puts earbudz up in his wild lil' fuckin ears.  


**SAM  
** What tha fuck iz that?  


**DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but a EMF meter n' shit. Readz electromagnetic frequencies.  


**SAM  
** Yeah, I know what tha fuck a EMF meta is yo, but why do dat one be lookin like a funky-ass busted-up struttman?  


**DEAN  
** 'Cause thatz what tha fuck I juiced it up of. It aint nuthin but homemade.  


DEAN grins.  


**SAM  
** Yeah, I can peep that.  


DEANz grin disappears.  
DEAN runs tha EMF meta over a piece of tha wreckage wit yellow dust on it n' gets a audible spike.  


**DEAN  
** Hit up tha emergency door handle.  


DEAN scratches all up in tha yellow dust n' gets some on his hand.  


**DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz dis stuff?  


**SAM  
** One way ta smoke up.  


SAM scrapes a shitload of tha yellow dust off tha fuck into a funky-ass bag.  


_INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SECURITY DESK OF STORAGE WAREHOUSE - DAY  
  
_

Two AGENTS up in black suits approach tha securitizzle desk n' show they badges.  


**SECURITY GUARD  
** Homeland Security, biatch? What, one crew of y'all muthafuckas aint enough?  


**AGENT  
** What is you poppin' off about?  


**SECURITY GUARD  
** Two of yo' buddies went inside not five minutes ago.  


Da second AGENT looks all up in tha first.  


_INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STORAGE WAREHOUSE - DAY  
  
_

Da AGENTS n' nuff muthafuckin SECURITY GUARDS bust in, glocks drawn, n' search. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN hear dem coming. Da AGENTS n' GUARDS peep nothing.  


_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STORAGE WAREHOUSE - DAY  
  
_

SAM n' DEAN peer round a cold-ass lil corner n' strutt up casually fo' realz. An alarm blares, n' they run ta tha gated exit. Pullin off his suit jacket, DEAN throws it over tha barbed wire all up in tha top of tha fence, n' they climb over n' shiznit yo. Dude grabs tha jacket.  


**DEAN  
** Well, these monkey suits do come up in handy.  


DEAN runs off. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM bigs up.  


_INT fo' realz. AIRPORT - DAY  
  
_

CHUCK is chillin nervously up in a cold-ass lil chair yo. His COPILOT is givin his ass a pep talk.  


**COPILOT  
** Listen, Chuck. It aint nuthin but like gettin back on a horse. Only up in dis case, a lil twin engine. Not even a horse, mo' like a pony. I be bout ta be right there wit you like a muthafucka fo' realz. Anytime you feel like you don't want tha wheel, I be bout ta take over n' shit. Look, Chuck, our phat asses don't gotta do dis todizzle. It make me wanna hollar playa! I aint tryin ta rush you, biatch.  


**CHUCK  
** Fuck dat shit, the...the waitin is worse.  


Da COPILOT glances over his shoulder.  


**COPILOT  
** Okay, they fillin up tha tank. Then we go.  


Da COPILOT gets up n' leaves. CHUCK takes a thugged-out drank of coffee. Behind him, a cold-ass lil cloud of black particlez exits a vent n' rushes tha fuck into CHUCK'S eyes.  


**INT. JERRY'S OFFICE - DAY  
** JERRY looks all up in tha yellow shiznit all up in a microscope; what tha fuck tha microscope sees is replicated on a screen.  


**JERRY  
** Huh. This shiznit is covered up in sulfur.  


**SAM  
** Yo ass is sure?  


**JERRY  
** Take a look fo' yo ass.  


Bangin soundz from outside tha crib.  


**MAN  
** Yo ass effin' piece of crap...  


**JERRY  
** If you fellows will excuse me, I gots a idiot ta fire.  


As JERRY leaves, DEAN goes over n' looks tha fuck into tha microscope.  


**JERRY  
** Hey. Einstein. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yeah, you, biatch. What tha heck you bustin, biatch? Put tha wrench down-  


**DEAN  
** Hmm. Yo ass know, there be a not a fuckin shitload of thangs dat leave behind a sulfuric residue.  


**SAM  
** Demonic possession?  


**DEAN  
** It would explain how tha fuck a mortal playa would have tha strength ta open up a emergency hatch.  


**SAM  
** If tha muthafucka was possessed, itz possible.  


**DEAN  
** This goes way beyond floatin over a funky-ass bed or barfin pea soup. I mean itz one thang ta possess a thug yo, but ta use dem ta take down a entire airplane?  


**SAM  
** Yo ass eva heard of suttin' like dis before?  


**DEAN  
** Never.  


_EXT fo' realz. AIRPORT TARMAC - DAY  
  
_

Da COPILOT is waitin by a lil' small-ass plane; CHUCK, lookin cheerful n' chillaxed, approaches.  


**CHUCK  
** I be ready. Letz do this.  


Da COPILOT, confused, laughs n' bigs up CHUCK ta tha plane.  


_INT. PLANE IN FLIGHT - DAY  
  
_

**COPILOT  
** How tha fuck you feeling?  


**CHUCK  
** I feel pimped out.  


**COPILOT  
** You'll be back flyin jumbos before you know dat shit.  


**CHUCK  
** I hope so yo. How tha fuck long we been up?  


**COPILOT  
** Uh...almost forty minutes.  


**CHUCK  
** Wow. Time straight-up do fly.  


CHUCK suddenly dives tha plane towardz tha ground.  


**COPILOT  
** What is you bustin?  


CHUCK elbows tha COPILOT up in tha face. CHUCKz eyes is black.  


_EXT. ROAD - DAY  
  
_

A tractor is trundlin by as tha plane suddenly appears, crashin tha fuck into a telephone pole n' then tha ground.

 


	21. 1.04 Phantom Traveler (ACT TWO)

_INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY  
  
_

DEAN n' SAM is up in full research mode, wit images n' articlez taped ta tha walls n' strewn across tha beds, n' SAM is lookin at suttin' on tha computer n' shit. DEAN is readin suttin' on one bed while chillin on tha other.  


**SAM  
** So, every last muthafuckin religion up in every last muthafuckin ghetto culture has tha concept of demons n' demonic possession, right, biatch? I mean Christian, Natizzle Gangsta, Hindu, you name dat shit.  


**DEAN  
** Yeah yo, but none of dem describe anythang like dis y'all.  


**SAM  
** Well, thatz not exactly true. Yo ass peep accordin ta Japanese beliefs, certain demons is behind certain fuck ups, both natural n' man-made. One causes earthquakes, another causes disease.  


**DEAN  
** And dis one causes plane crashes?  


DEAN gets up.  


**DEAN  
** All right, so, what, biatch? Our thugged-out asses gotz a thugged-out demon thatz evolved wit tha times n' found a way ta ratchet up tha body count?  


**SAM  
** Yeah. Yo ass know, whoz ass knows how tha fuck nuff planes itz brought down before dis one?  


DEAN snorts, turnin away.  


**SAM  
** What?  


**DEAN  
** I don't give a fuck, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This aint our aiiight gig. I mean, demons, they don't want anything, just dirtnap n' destruction fo' its own sake. This is big-ass fo' realz. And I wish Dad was here.  


**SAM  
** Yeah. Me like a muthafucka.  


DEAN'S beeper rings n' he lyrics dat shit.  


**DEAN  
** Hello?  


**JERRY  
** Dean, itz Jerry.  


**DEAN  
** Oh, hey, Jerry.  


**JERRY  
** My fuckin pilot playa...Chuck Lambert is dead as fuckin fried chicken.  


**DEAN  
** Wha-Jerry, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. What happened?  


**JERRY  
** Dude n' his dawg went up in a lil' small-ass twin bout a minute ago. Da plane went down.  


**DEAN  
** Where'd dis happen?  


**JERRY  
** Bout sixty milez westside of here, near Nazareth.  


**DEAN  
** I be bout ta try ta ignore tha irony up in that.  


**JERRY  
** I be sorry?  


**DEAN  
** Nothing. Jerry, hang up in there, all right, biatch? We bout ta catch up wit you soon.  


DEAN hangs up.  


**SAM  
** Another crash?  


**DEAN  
** Yeah. Letz go.  


**SAM  
** Where?  


**DEAN  
** Nazareth.  


_EXT. ROAD - DAY  
  
_

Da IMPALA drives past a road sign readin NAZARETH 3. Black smoke is visible up in tha near distance.  


_INT. JERRY'S OFFICE - DAY  
  
_

JERRY be again n' again n' again lookin all up in a microscope.  


**DEAN  
** Sulfur?  


JERRY nods.  


**DEAN  
** Well, thatz pimped out fo' realz. All right, thatz two plane crashes involvin Chuck Lambert. This demon soundz like dat shiznit was afta his muthafuckin ass.  


**SAM  
** With all due respect ta Chuck, if thatz tha case, dat would be tha phat news.  


**DEAN  
** Whatz tha shitty news?  


**SAM  
** Chuckz plane went down exactly forty minutes tha fuck into flight fo' realz. And git this, so did flight 2485.  


**JERRY  
** Forty minutes, biatch? What do dat mean?  


**DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but biblical numerology. Yo ass know Noahz ark, it drizzled fo' forty days. Da number means dirtnap.  


**SAM  
** I went back, n' there done been six plane crashes over tha last decade dat all went down exactly forty minutes in.  


**DEAN  
** Any survivors?  


**SAM  
** No. Or not until now, at least, not until flight 2485, fo' some reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. On tha cockpit voice recorder, remember what tha fuck tha EVP Said?  


**DEAN  
** "No survivors."  


DEAN thinks.  


**DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but goin afta all tha survivors. It aint nuthin but tryin ta finish tha thang.  


_INT. IMPALA - NIGHT  
  
_

DEAN is driving. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is on tha phone. Rushz "Workin Man" plays.  


**SAM  
** Really, biatch? Well, fuck you fo' takin our survey, And if you do plan ta fly, please don't forget yo' playaz at United Britannia Airlines. Thanks.  


SAM hangs up.  


**SAM  
** All right. That takes care of Blaine Sanderson n' Dennis Holloway. They're not flyin anytime soon.  


**DEAN  
** So our only wildcard is tha flight attendant Amanda Walker.  


**SAM  
** Right yo. Her sista Karen holla'd her flight leaves Indianapolis at eight pm. It aint nuthin but her first night back on tha thang.  


**MUSIC  
** Well I git up at seven, yeah  
And I git all up in work at nine  


**DEAN  
** That soundz like just our luck.  


**SAM  
** Dean, dis be a gangbangin' five-hour drive, dude, even wit you behind tha wheel.  


**MUSIC  
** I gots no time fo' livin' yeah  
I be hustlin all tha time  


**DEAN  
** Call Amandaz cellphone again, peep if we can't head her off all up in tha pass.  


**MUSIC  
** It seems ta me  
I could live mah game  


**SAM  
** I already left her three voice lyrics. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch must have turned her cellphone off.  


**MUSIC  
** A lot betta than I be thinkin I am  


**SAM  
** God, we never gonna make dat shit.  


**DEAN  
** We bout ta make dat shit.  


**MUSIC  
** I guess thatz why they call me  
They call me tha hustlin man  


_INT fo' realz. AIRPORT - NIGHT  
  
_

DEAN n' SAM rush tha fuck into tha airport n' check tha Departure board.  


**MUSIC  
** Well they call me tha hustlin man  
I guess thatz what tha fuck I am  


**SAM  
** Right there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. They're boardin up in thirty minutes.  


**DEAN  
** Okay. We still have some cardz ta play. We need ta find a phone.  


DEAN picks up a cold-ass lil courtesy phone.  


**VOICE  
** Airport Services.  


**DEAN  
** Yo! Gate thirteen.  


**VOICE  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is you calling, sir?  


**DEAN  
** I be tryin ta contact a Amanda Walker n' shit. Dat hoe a gangbangin' flight attendant on flight, um...flight 4-2-4.  


_INT fo' realz. AIRPORT, GATE 13 - NIGHT  
  
_

**PA VOICE  
** Amanda Walker, Amanda Walker, you gotz a funky-ass beeper call. White courtesy phone, gate thirteen.  


AMANDA approaches tha gate, hearin tha announcement. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch picks up tha phone.  


_INT fo' realz. AIRPORT - NIGHT n' INT fo' realz. AIRPORT, GATE 13 - NIGHT, alternating  
  
_

**DEAN  
** Come on.  


**AMANDA  
** This is Amanda Walker.  


**DEAN  
** Miss Walker n' shit. Yea muthafucka, dis is Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Jizzy Hetfield from St. Frankie Memorial Hospitizzle. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Our thugged-out asses gotz a Karen Walker here.  


**AMANDA  
** Karen?  


**DEAN  
** Nothang serious, just a minor hoopty accident yo, but dat biiiiatch was fucked up, so-  


**AMANDA  
** Wa-wait, thatz impossible. I just gots off tha beeper wit her muthafuckin ass.  


DEAN pauses.  


**DEAN  
** Yo ass what?  


**AMANDA  
** Five minutes ago. Dat hoe at her house, crammin fo' a gangbangin' final. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is this?  


**DEAN  
** Uh, well...there must be some mistake.  


**AMANDA  
** And how tha fuck would you even know I was here?  


SAM goes round DEAN ta try ta hear what tha fuck be happenin.  


**AMANDA  
** Is dis one of Vincez playas?  


**DEAN  
** Guilty as charged.  


**AMANDA  
** Wow. This is unbelievable.  


**DEAN  
** Dat punk straight-up sorry bout dat bullshit.  


**AMANDA  
** Well, you tell his ass ta mind his own bidnizz n' stay outta mah game, aiiight?  


**DEAN  
** Yes yo, but...he straight-up need ta peep you tonight, so-  


**AMANDA  
** Fuck dat shit, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. It aint nuthin but too late.  


**DEAN  
** Don't be like dis shit. Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da muthafuckaz a mess. Really. It aint nuthin but pathetic.  


**AMANDA  
** Really?  


**DEAN  
** Oh, yeah.  


**AMANDA  
** Look, I've gots ta bounce tha fuck out. Um...tell his ass ta booty-call me when I land.  


AMANDA hangs up.  


**DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, no. Wait, Amanda fo' realz. Amanda!  


AMANDA headz fo' tha plane, greetin coworkers.  


**AMANDA  
** Wuz crackalackin' yo, biatch? Yo, Bob.  


Da black cloud comes outta a vent, then goes back in.  


_INT fo' realz. AIRPORT CHECK-IN AREA - NIGHT  
  
_

**DEAN  
** Damn dat shiznit son! So close.  


**INTERCOM  
** Nuff props fo' flyin United Britannia Airlines.  


**SAM  
** All right, itz time fo' plan B. We gettin on dat plane.  


**DEAN  
** Whoa, whoa, now just hold on a second.  


DEAN is wide-eyed.  


**SAM  
** Dean, dat plane is leavin wit over a hundred passengers on board, n' if we right, dat plane is gonna crash.  


**DEAN  
** I know.  


**SAM  
** Okay. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So we gettin on tha plane, we need ta find dat demon n' exorcise dat shit. I be bout ta git tha tickets, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Yo ass git whatever you can outta tha trunk. Whatever dat will make it all up in tha security. Hook up me back here up in five minutes.  


DEAN just looks at his ass anxiously.  


**SAM  
** Is you aiiight?  


**DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, not straight-up.  


**SAM  
** What, biatch? Whatz wrong?  


**DEAN  
** Well, I kind of have dis problem with, uh...  


**SAM  
** Flying?  


**DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but never straight-up been a issue until now, nahmeean?  


**SAM  
** Yo ass is clownin, right?  


**DEAN  
** Do I be lookin like I be clownin, biatch? Why do you be thinkin I drive everywhere, Sam?  


**SAM  
** All right. Uh, I be bout ta go.  


**DEAN  
** What?  


**SAM  
** I be bout ta do dis one on mah own.  


**DEAN  
** What is you, nuts, biatch? Yo ass holla'd it yo ass, tha planez gonna crash.  


**SAM  
** Dean, we can do it together, or I can do dis one by mah dirty ass. I aint seein a third option, here.  


**DEAN  
** Come on! Fo' realz, biatch? Man...  


_INT. PLANE - NIGHT  
  
_

**INTERCOM  
** Flight attendants, please cross-check [something] before departure.  


DEAN, up in tha aisle seat, be anxiously readin tha safety card.  


**SAM  
** Just try ta chillax.  


**DEAN  
** Just try ta shut tha fuck up.  


Da plane takes off, wit DEAN jumpin at every last muthafuckin rumble n' sound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM smirks.


	22. 1.04 Phantom Traveler (ACT THREE)

_INT. PLANE IN FLIGHT - NIGHT_  


DEAN is leanin back, hummin ta his dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks over.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass is hummin Metallica?

 **DEAN**  
Calms me down.

 **SAM**  
Look, dude, I git you nervous, all right, biatch? But you gots ta stay focused.

 **DEAN**  
Okay.

 **SAM**  
I mean, we gots thirty-two minutes n' countin ta track dis thang down, or whoever itz possessing, anyway, n' big-ass up a gangbangin' full-on exorcism.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, on a cold-ass lil crowded plane. Thatz gonna be easy as fuck .

 **SAM**  
Just take it one step at a time, all right, biatch? Now, whoz ass is it possessing?

 **DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but probably gonna be some muthafucka wit some sort of weakness, you know, a cold-ass lil chink up in tha armor dat tha demon can worm all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some Muthafucka wit a addiction or some sort of wack distress.

 **SAM**  
Well, dis is Amandaz first flight afta tha crash. If I was her, I'd be pretty messed up.

 **DEAN**  
Mm-hm.

DEAN turns ta a FLIGHT ATTENDANT, whoz ass aint AMANDA.

 **DEAN**  
Excuse mah dirty ass. Is you Amanda?

 **FLIGHT ATTENDANT**  
Fuck dat shit, I be not.

 **DEAN**  
Oh, mah mistake.

 **FLIGHT ATTENDANT**  
Mm-hm.

DEAN looks ta tha back of tha plane ta AMANDA.

 **DEAN**  
All right, well, thatz gots ta be Amanda back there, so I be bout ta go rap ta her, and, uh, I be bout ta git a read on her menstrual state.

 **SAM**  
What if she already possessed?

 **DEAN**  
Therez ways ta test that.

DEAN goes tha fuck into his bag n' comes up wit a Virgin Mary-shaped forty of water.

 **DEAN**  
I brought holy water.

 **SAM**  
No.

SAM snatches tha forty n' tucks it inside his hoodie.

 **SAM**  
I be thinkin we can go mo' subtle. If she possessed, she'll flinch all up in tha name of Dogg.

 **DEAN**  
Oh. Nice.

DEAN turns ta bounce tha fuck out.

 **SAM**  
Hey.

 **DEAN**  
What?

 **SAM**  
Say it up in Latin.

 **DEAN**  
I know.

DEAN leaves again.

 **SAM**  
Okay yo. Hey!

 **DEAN**  
What?!

 **SAM**  
Uh, up in Latin, itz "Christo".

 **DEAN**  
Dude, I know! I aint a idiot!

DEAN make his way ta tha back of tha plane, thumpin a seat once afta tha plane shakes.

 **COPILOT**  
Ladies n' gentlemen, dis is yo' first fool bustin lyrics...

AMANDA is fussin wit tha drank cart n' napkins.

 **DEAN**  
Hi.

 **AMANDA**  
Yo! Can I help you wit something?

 **DEAN**  
Oh, no. I be just a lil' bit of a uneasy flier n' shit. Well shiiiit, it make me feel betta ta strutt round a lil bit.

 **AMANDA**  
Oh, it happens ta tha dopest of us.

 **DEAN**  
Of course, you bein a stewardess, I guess flyin comes easy as fuck ta you, biatch.

AMANDA laughs.

 **AMANDA**  
You'd be surprised.

 **DEAN**  
Really, biatch? Yo ass be a straight-up trippin flier?

 **AMANDA**  
Yeah, maybe, lil bit.

 **DEAN**  
How tha fuck is it that, bein a stewardess, you scared ta fly?

 **AMANDA**  
Kind of a long-ass story.

 **DEAN**  
Right. I be sorry as a muthafucka fo' asking.

 **AMANDA**  
It aint nuthin but all gravy.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass eva consider other employment?

 **AMANDA**  
No. Look, playas scared of something. I just, uh...I aint gonna let it hold mah crazy ass back.

 **DEAN**  
Huh.

 **AMANDA**  
So...

 **DEAN, on tha fuckin' down-lowly**  
Christo.

 **AMANDA**  
I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. Did yo dirty ass say something?

DEAN hesitates.

 **DEAN**  
Christo?

 **AMANDA**  
I-I didn't, I didn't...

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, nothing. Never mind.

DEAN returns ta his seat.

 **AMANDA**  
Okay.

 **DEAN**  
All right, well, she gots ta be da most thugged-out well-adjusted thug on tha hood.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass holla'd "Christo"?

 **DEAN**  
Yeah.

 **SAM**  
And?

 **DEAN**  
Therez no demon up in her n' shit. Therez no demon gettin up in her muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM**  
So, if itz on tha plane, it can be mah playas fo' realz. Anywhere.

Da plane shakes.

 **DEAN**  
Come on! That can't be normal!

 **SAM**  
Yo, hey, itz just a lil turbulence.

 **DEAN**  
Sam, dis plane is goin ta crash, aiiight, biatch? So quit treatin me like I be friggin' four.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass need ta quit trippin' out.

 **DEAN**  
Well, I be sorry as a muthafucka I can't.

 **SAM**  
Yes, you can.

 **DEAN**  
Dude, stow tha touchy-feely, self-help yoga crap, it aint helping.

 **SAM**  
Listen, if you panicked, you wide open ta demonic possession, so you need ta calm yo ass down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right now, nahmeean?

DEAN takes a long, slow breath.

 **SAM**  
Good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Now, I found a exorcizzle up in here dat I be thinkin is gonna work. Da Rituale Romanum.

 **DEAN**  
What do we gotta do?

 **SAM**  
It aint nuthin but two parts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Da first part expels tha demon from tha victimz body. Well shiiiit, it make it manifest, which straight-up make it mo' powerful.

 **DEAN**  
Mo' powerful?

 **SAM**  
Yeah.

 **DEAN**  
How?

 **SAM**  
Well, it don't need ta possess one of mah thugs no mo'. Well shiiiit, it can just wreak havoc on its own.

 **DEAN**  
Oh fo' realz. And why is dat a phat thang?

 **SAM**  
Well, cuz tha second part sendz tha bastard back ta hell once n' fo' all.

 **DEAN**  
First thangs first, we gots ta find dat shit.

DEAN strutts slowly up tha aisle wit his EMF meter, gettin odd looks but no readings. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM suddenly claps his ass on tha shoulder, n' he jumps.

 **DEAN**  
Ah! Don't do that.

 **SAM**  
Anything?

 **DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, not a god damn thang yo. How tha fuck much time we got?

 **SAM**  
Fifteen minutes. Maybe we missed some muthafucka.

 **DEAN**  
Maybe tha thangz just not on tha plane.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass believe that?

 **DEAN**  
Well, I'ma if you will.

DEAN looks down as tha EMF meta spikes. Da COPILOT exits tha bathroom n' headz towardz tha cockpit.

 **SAM**  
What, biatch? What tha fuck iz it?

 **DEAN**  
Christo.

Da COPILOT turns slowly ta grill dem wild-ass muthafuckas yo. His eyes is black.  
Da COPILOT goes tha fuck into tha cockpit. DEAN looks at SAM.


	23. 1.04 Phantom Traveler (ACT FOUR)

SAM n' DEAN head ta tha back of tha plane towardz Amanda.  


**SAM**  
Dat hoe not gonna believe this.  


**DEAN**  
Twelve minutes, dude.  


**AMANDA**  
Oh, hi. Flightz not too bumpy fo' you, I hope.  


**DEAN**  
Actually, thatz kind of what tha fuck we need ta rap ta you about.  


SAM closes tha curtain.  


**AMANDA**  
Um, aiiight. What can I do fo' yo slick ass?  


**DEAN**  
All right, dis is gonna sound nuts yo, but our laid-back asses just aint gots time fo' tha whole "the truth is up there" rap n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.  


**SAM**  
All right, look, we know you was on flight 2485.  


AMANDAz smile disappeared.  


**AMANDA**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is you muthafuckas?  


**SAM**  
Now, we've spoken ta a shitload of tha other survivors. We know suttin' brought down dat plane n' it wasn't a mechanical failure.  


**DEAN**  
We need yo' help cuz we need ta stop it from goin' down again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Now.  


**AMANDA**  
I be sorry, I-I be straight-up busy. I gotta go back-  


Bitch tries ta brush past DEAN, whoz ass stops her muthafuckin ass.  


**DEAN**  
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I aint gonna hurt you, aiiight, biatch? But dig me, uh...Da pilot up in 2485, Chuck Lambert. Dat punk dead as fuckin fried chicken.  


**AMANDA**  
Wait. What, biatch? What, Chuck is dead?  


**DEAN**  
Dude took a dirt nap up in a plane crash. Now, thatz two plane crashes up in two months. That don't strike you as strange?  


**AMANDA**  
I-  


**SAM**  
Look, there was suttin' wack wit 2485. Now maybe you sensed it, maybe you didn't. But there be a suttin' wack wit dis flight, like a muthafucka.  


**DEAN**  
Amanda, you gotta believe us.  


**AMANDA**  
On...on 2485, there was dis man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. He...had these eyes.  


**SAM**  
Yes yes y'all. Thatz exactly what tha fuck we poppin' off about.  


**AMANDA**  
I don't understand, what tha fuck is you askin me ta do?  


**DEAN**  
Okay. Da copilot, we need you ta brang his ass back here.  


**AMANDA**  
Why, biatch? What do he gotta do wit anything?  


**DEAN**  
Don't have time ta explain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us playas just need ta rap ta his muthafuckin ass. Okay?  


**AMANDA**  
How tha fuck is I supposed ta go up in tha cockpit n' git tha copilot-  


**SAM**  
Do whatever it takes. Tell his ass there be a suttin' fucked up back here, whatever will git his ass outta dat cockpit.  


**AMANDA**  
Do you know dat I could lose mah thang if you-  


**DEAN**  
Okay, well you gonna lose a shitload mo' if you don't help our asses out.  


AMANDA hesitates.  


**AMANDA**  
Okay.  


AMANDA leaves n' goes ta tha cockpit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch knocks on tha door n' say suttin' inaudible ta tha copilot, whoz ass bigs up her back. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM pulls up tha holy gin n juice n' shit. DEAN pulls up Johnz journal n' handz it ta SAM, whoz ass opens dat shit.  


**COPILOT**  
Yeah, whatz tha problem?  


DEAN punches his ass up in tha face, knockin his ass down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude pins his ass down n' puts duct tape over his crazy-ass grill.  


**AMANDA**  
Wait. What is you bustin, biatch? Yo ass holla'd you was just gonna rap ta his muthafuckin ass.  


**DEAN**  
We is gonna rap ta his muthafuckin ass.  


DEAN splashes holy wata on his skin, which sizzles.  


**AMANDA**  
Oh, mah god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Whatz wack wit him?  


**SAM**  
Look. We need you calm. We need you outside tha curtain.  


**AMANDA**  
Well, I don't underst-I don't give a fuck-  


**SAM**  
Don't let anybody in, aiiight, biatch? Yo ass betta do that, biatch? Yo ass betta do that, biatch? Amanda?  


**AMANDA**  
Okay. Okay.  


AMANDA leaves.  


**DEAN**  
Hurry up, Sam. I don't give a fuck how tha fuck much longer I can hold his muthafuckin ass.  


**SAM**  
Regna terrae, cantate Deo, psallite Domino-  


Da DEMON breaks free briefly n' hits dem both until DEAN manages ta subdue his ass again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM picks up where he left off. Da DEMON knocks DEAN off again n' again n' again n' pulls tha tape off his crazy-ass grill yo. Dude grabs SAM by tha collar.  


**DEMON**  
I know what tha fuck happened ta yo' hoe hommie! Biatch must have took a dirt nap screaming! Even now, da hoe burning!  


DEAN recovers n' hits tha DEMON as SAM sits there, stunned.  


**DEAN**  
Sam!  


SAM recovers n' begins readin again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude puts tha book down n' helps DEAN pin down tha DEMON, whoz ass kicks tha book up tha aisle.  


**SAM**  
I gots his muthafuckin ass.  


Da DEMON exits tha COPILOTz body n' disappears tha fuck into a vent.  


**SAM**  
Where'd it go?  


**DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but up in tha plane yo. Hurry up. We gots ta finish dat shit.  


_EXT. PLANE - NIGHT n' INT. PLANE - NIGHT, alternating_  
  


Da plane suddenly dips n' heaves violently. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM strugglez ta retrieve tha book as DEAN splays his dirty ass against tha exit door, screaming.  
SAM manages ta grab tha book n' readz tha rest of tha exorcizzle fo' realz. A bright electrical charge runs all up in tha entire plane, which then levels out.  
Various playas ask if everyonez all gravy fo' realz. AMANDA sighs up in relief. DEAN comes up from behind tha curtain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM standz up.


	24. 1.04 Phantom Traveler (EPILOGUE)

_INT fo' realz. AIRPORT - NIGHT_  
  


Da passengers from tha flight is disembarkin ta a area millin wit uniformed agents (PARAMEDIC, STD, FAA, etc). Da COPILOT is seated up in a wheelchair wit a funky-ass blanket wrapped round him, bein dissed by a FAA AGENT.  


**FAA AGENT**  
Sir, can you tell me what tha fuck happened?  


**COPILOT**  
I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. I was struttin all up in tha airport, then all dat shiznit goes blank. I don't even remember gettin on tha plane.  


AMANDA is bein dissed by another agent.  


**STD AGENT**  
Anythang else?  


**AMANDA**  
Fuck dat shit, thatz all.  


Bitch sees SAM n' DEAN standin across tha way n' grills "Nuff props". They nod.  


**DEAN**  
Letz git outta here.  


DEAN n' SAM head fo' tha exit.  


**DEAN**  
Yo ass aiiight?  


SAM stops n' turns.  


**SAM**  
Dean, it knew bout Jessica.  


**DEAN**  
Sam, these thangs, they, they read minds. They lie fo' realz. All right, biatch? Thatz all it was.  


**SAM**  
Yeah.  


**DEAN**  
Come on.  


_EXT fo' realz. AIRPORT - DAY_  
  


**JERRY**  
No Muthafucka knows what tha fuck you muthafuckas did yo, but I do fo' realz. All dem playas could done been capped.  


JERRY shakes they hands.  


**JERRY**  
Yo crazy-ass dadz gonna be real proud.  


**SAM**  
We bout ta peep you around, Jerry.  


DEAN begins ta head off.  


**DEAN**  
Yo ass know, Jerry.  


**JERRY**  
Yeah.  


**DEAN**  
I meant ta ask you, how tha fuck did you git mah cellphone number, anyway, biatch? I've only had it fo' like six months.  


**JERRY**  
Yo crazy-ass daddy gave it ta mah dirty ass.  


**SAM**  
What?  


**DEAN**  
When did you rap ta him?  


**JERRY**  
I mean, I didn't exactly rap ta his ass yo, but I called his number n' shiznit yo. His voice message holla'd ta hit you wit a cold-ass lil call. Thanks again, muthafuckas.  
JERRY leaves.  


_EXT fo' realz. AIRPORT ACCESS - DAY_  
  


A plane wit a red maple leaf on tha tail flies overhead.  


**SAM**  
This don't make any sense, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I called Dadz number like fifty times. It aint nuthin but been outta service.  


DEAN dials a number n' shiznit fo' realz. As tha voice message begins, tha pimpin' muthafucka turns it so SAM can hear like a muthafucka.  


**JOHN**  
This is Jizzy Winchesta n' shit. I can't be reached. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If dis be a emergency, call mah son, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 785-555-0179 yo. Dude can help.  


SAM fumes n' gets up in tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DEAN bigs up, n' they drive off. Music plays.


	25. 1.05 Bloody Mary (NOW)

_Toledo, Ohio_  
INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHOEMAKER LIVING ROOM - NIGHT  
  


Three GIRLS is laughing, gathered round a table wit candles. Da candlelight is tha only light.  


**GIRL 1**  
Okay, yo' turn, truth or dare?  


**LILY**  
Truth.  


**GIRL 1**  
Do you wanna make up wit Benji Swartz?  


GIRL 2 laughs.  


**LILY**  
Dare.  


**GIRL 1**  
Okay, lame. Yo ass have to...say "Bloody Mary" up in tha bathroom.  


**LILY**  
Is dat tha dopest you can come up with?  


**GIRL 2**  
Whoz Bloody Mary?  


**GIRL 1**  
Dat hoe dis witch.  


**LILY**  
I heard dat biiiiatch was a lady capped up in a cold-ass lil hoopty crash.  


**GIRL 1**  
It don't matta whoz ass she is. Point is, if you say her name three times up in tha bathroom mirror she appears...and scratches yo' eyes out!  


LILY n' GIRL 2 jump.  


**GIRL 2**  
So why would mah playas say it?  


**LILY**  
Because it aint real.  


LILY gets up, n' GIRL 1 handz her a cold-ass lil candle.  


**GIRL 1**  
No turnin on tha lights, n' remember...three times.  


_INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT_  
  


LILY opens tha bathroom door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks all up in tha shadows on tha wall, then closes tha door n' puts tha candle down up in front of tha mirror.  


**LILY**  
Bloody Mary. This is so fuckin wack. Bloody Mary.  


Da candle flickers. LILY looks at it fo' realz. A long pause.  


**LILY**  
Bloody Mary.  


A pause fo' realz. A bangin noise. LILY shrieks. Poundin on tha door.  


_EXT yo. HALLWAY - NIGHT_  
  


LILY opens tha door ta find GIRLS 1 n' 2, laughing.  


**GIRL 1**  
Scared ya.  


**LILY**  
Yo ass muthafuckas is jerks.  


**STEVEN**  
Lily.  


LILY looks up ta tha top of tha stairs, where her big-ass booty sees her father, STEVEN SHOEMAKER.  


**STEVEN**  
Do you mind keepin it down?  


**LILY**  
Sorry, Daddy.  


**GIRLS 1 & 2**  
Sorry, Mista Muthafuckin Shoemaker.  


STEVEN headz upstairs yo. Dude passes nuff muthafuckin mirrors; each has BLOODY MARY.  


_INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM - NIGHT_  
  


STEVEN takes some pizzlez outta tha bathroom medicine cabinet n' closes tha cabinet, revealin another mirror yo. Dude pops tha pizzlez up in his crazy-ass grill, then looks closer all up in tha mirror, noticin some scratches under his wild lil' fuckin eye.  


_INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY_  
  


LILY n' both GIRLS is gigglin together.  


**GIRL 2**  
Yo ass so like him!  


DONNA, LILYz olda sister, comes up in tha front door.  


**DONNA**  
Yo, geek. Yo ass muthafuckas havin fun?  


**LILY**  
Yo ass is up past curfew.  


**DONNA**  
Thanks, Dad.  


DONNA goes upstairs.  


_INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT_  
  


A pool of blood comin up from under tha bathroom door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. DONNA roundz tha corner n' sees it, stops, then starts forward mo' slowly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch hesitantly pushes open tha bathroom door, revealin a pimped out deal mo' blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! DONNA screams.


	26. 1.05 Bloody Mary (ACT ONE)

_DREAM SEQUENCE  
INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STANFORD APARTMENT - NIGHT  
  
_

Da entire scene is tinted blue.  
From 1.01 Pilot, SAM lies on tha bed, eyes closed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! JESS is on tha ceiling. Blood drips on SAMz forehead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude opens his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' sees her muthafuckin ass.  


**JESS  
** Why, Sam, biatch? Why, Sam?  


**SAM  
** No!  


JESS bursts tha fuck into flame.  


**JESS  
** Why, Sam, biatch? Why, Sam?  


_IMPALA  
INT. IMPALA - DAY  
  
_

**DEAN  
** Sam, wake up.  


SAM wakes, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude sits up n' looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dat punk chillin shotgun up in tha Impala, which is parked up in front of a big-ass building.  


**SAM  
** I take it I was havin a nightmare.  


**DEAN  
** Yeah, another one.  


**SAM  
** Yo, at least I gots some chill.  


**DEAN  
** Yo ass know, sooner or lata we gonna gotta rap bout this.  


**SAM  
** Is our crazy asses here?  


**DEAN  
** Yup. Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Toledo, Ohio.  


SAM picks up a newspaper wit STEVEN SHOEMAKERz obituary circled.  
SHOEMAKER, Steven  
Da Shoemaker crew is fucked up ta announce tha sudden dirtnap of they beloved homeboy n' daddy Steven Shoemaker n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Steven was 46 fo' realz. A short steez is ghon be held on Wednesday, [...] 31 at 2:00 p.m. all up in tha Toledo [...] n' cherish you [...] Yo crazy-ass [...]  


**SAM  
** So what tha fuck do you be thinkin straight-up happened ta dis muthafucka?  


**DEAN  
** Thatz what tha fuck we gonna smoke up.  


**DEAN  
** Letz go.  


DEAN n' SAM git outta tha hoopty n' head up ta tha building.  


_MORGUE  
INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY  
  
_

SAM n' DEAN head tha fuck into room 144, marked Morgue.  
Therez two desks. Da empty one has a nameplate dat say Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. D. Feiklowicz. Da other one has tha MORGUE TECHNICIAN.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Hey.  


**DEAN  
** Hey.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Can I help yo slick ass?  


**DEAN  
** Yeah. We the, uh...med hustlas.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Sorry?  


**DEAN  
** Oh, Doctor-  


DEAN stumblez over tha name.  


**DEAN  
** -Figlavitch didn't tell yo slick ass?  


**DEAN  
** We talked ta his ass on tha phone yo. He, uh, we from Ohio State. Dat punk supposed ta show our asses tha Shoemaker corpse. It aint nuthin but fo' our paper.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Well, I be sorry, he at lunch.  


**DEAN  
** Oh well da perved-out muthafucka holla'd, uh-  


**DEAN  
** -oh, well, you know, it don't matter n' shit. Yo ass don't mind just showin our asses tha body, do yo slick ass?  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Sorry, I can't.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Doc is ghon be back up in a hour. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Yo ass can wait fo' his ass if you want.  


**DEAN  
** An hour, biatch? Ooh. We gotta be headin back ta Columbus by then.  


DEAN looks at SAM.  


**SAM  
** Yeah.  


**DEAN  
** Uh, look, dude, dis paperz like half our grade, so if you don't mind helpin our asses out-  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Uh, look, man...no.  


DEAN laughs a lil.  
DEAN turns round n' mumbles.  


**DEAN  
** I'ma hit his ass up in his wild lil' grill I swear.  


SAM hits DEAN on tha arm yo. Dude steps up in front of DEAN n' opens his wallet n' pulls up some twentizzles yo. Dude lays all dem of them, at least five, down on tha MORGUE TECHz desk. Da MORGUE TECH picks up tha scrilla.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Big up mah dirty ass.  


Da MORGUE TECH gets up n' leaves. DEAN grabs SAM when SAM tries ta follow.  


**DEAN  
** Dude, I gots dat scrilla.  


**SAM  
** Yo ass won it up in a poker game.  


**DEAN  
** Yeah.  


SAM bigs up tha MORGUE TECH.  


_INT. MORGUE - DAY  
  
_

**SAM  
** Now tha newspaper holla'd his fuckin lil' daughta found his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch holla'd his wild lil' fuckin eyes was bleeding.  


Da MORGUE TECH pulls back tha shizzle over STEVENz face.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Mo' than dis shit. They practically liquefied.  


**DEAN  
** Any sign of a struggle, biatch? Maybe some muthafucka done did it ta him?  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Nope. Besides tha daughter, da thug was all ridin' solo.  


**SAM  
** Whatz tha straight-up legit cause of dirtnap.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Ah, Docs not sure. Dat punk thankin massive stroke, maybe a aneurysm, biatch? Somethang burst up in there, thatz fo' sure.  


**SAM  
** What do you mean?  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Intense cerebral bleeding. This muthafucka had mo' blood up in his skull than mah playas I've eva seen.  


**SAM  
** Da eyes&mashwhat would cause suttin' like that?  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Capillaries can burst. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See a shitload of bloodshot eyes wit stroke suckas.  


**DEAN  
** Yeah, biatch? Yo ass eva peep explodin eyeballs?  


**MORGUE TECH  
** Thatz a gangbangin' first fo' me yo, but hey, I aint tha doctor.  


**DEAN  
** Yo, be thinkin we could take a peep dat five-o report, biatch? Yo ass know for, uh...our paper.  


**MORGUE TECH  
** I aint straight-up supposed ta show you that.  


SAM, annoyed, pulls up his wallet.  


_INT yo. HOSPITAL - DAY  
  
_

SAM n' DEAN is struttin down stairs.  


**SAM  
** Might not be one of ours. Might just be some freak medicinal thang.  


**DEAN  
** How tha fuck nuff times up in Dadz long n' varied game has it straight-up been a gangbangin' freak medicinal thang n' not some sign of a wack supernatural dirtnap?  


**SAM  
** Uh, almost never.  


**DEAN  
** Exactly.  


**SAM  
** All right, letz go rap ta tha daughter.  


_SHOEMAKER HOUSE  
INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHOEMAKER HOUSE - DAY  
  
_

DEAN n' SAM strutt tha fuck into tha funeral. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. There be a picture of STEVEN SHOEMAKER on tha desk. Da attendees is all pimps up in black suits n' dem hoes up in black dresses, except DEAN n' SAM.  


**DEAN  
** Feel like we underdressed.  


They keep struttin all up in tha doggy den towardz tha back.  


_EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHOEMAKER BACKYARD - DAY  
  
_

A MAN points DEAN n' SAM towardz DONNA n' LILY SHOEMAKER, whoz ass is wit they playaz JILL n' CHARLIE.  


**DEAN  
** Yo ass must be Donna, right?  


**DONNA  
** Yeah.  


**SAM  
** Yea muthafucka, uh-we're straight-up sorry bout dat bullshit.  


**DONNA  
** Nuff props, biatch.  


**SAM  
** I be Sam, dis is Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us thugs hit dat shiznit wit yo' dad.  


DONNA looks at CHARLIE, then back at SAM n' DEAN.  


**DONNA  
** Yo ass did?  


**DEAN  
** Yeah. This whole thang. I mean, a stroke.  


**CHARLIE  
** I don't be thinkin she straight-up wants ta rap bout dis right now  


**DONNA  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy. I be aiiight.  


**DEAN  
** Were there any symptoms, biatch? Dizziness, biatch? Migraines?  


**DONNA  
** No.  


LILY turns around.  


**LILY  
** Thatz cuz it wasn't a stroke.  


**DONNA  
** Lily, don't say that.  


**SAM  
** What?  


**DONNA  
** I be sorry, she just upset.  


**LILY  
** Fuck dat shit, it happened cuz of mah dirty ass.  


**DONNA  
** Sweetie, it didn't.  


**SAM  
** Lily.  


SAM gets down on eye level wit LILY.  


**SAM  
** Why would you say suttin' like that?  


**LILY  
** Right before da ruffneck died, I holla'd dat shit.  


**SAM  
** Yo ass holla'd what?  


**LILY  
** Bloody Mary, three times up in tha bathroom mirror.  


A pause.  


**LILY  
** Bitch took his wild lil' fuckin eyes, thatz what tha fuck her dope ass do.  


**DONNA  
** Thatz not why Dad died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This aint yo' fault.  


**DEAN  
** I be thinkin yo' sisterz right, Lily. Therez no way it could done been Bloody Mary. Yo crazy-ass daddy didn't say it, did he?  


**LILY  
** Fuck dat shit, I don't be thinkin so.  


_INSIDE SHOEMAKER HOUSE  
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY  
  
_

Focus on one of tha mirrors. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is peeped up in tha mirror approachin it, then roundin tha corner.  


_INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM - DAY  
  
_

SAM pushes tha door open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There is still some dried blood on tha floor.  


**SAM  
** Da Bloody Mary legend...Dad eva find any evidence dat dat shiznit was a real thang?  


**DEAN  
** Not dat I know of.  


DEAN strutts tha fuck into tha bathroom and. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM stoops ta tha floor n' touches tha dried blood.  


**SAM  
** I mean, everywhere else all over tha ghetto, lil playas will play Bloody Mary, n' as far as we know, no muthafucka takes a thugged-out dirt nap from dat shit.  


**DEAN  
** Yeah, well, maybe everywhere itz just a rap yo, but here itz straight-up happening.  


**SAM  
** Da place where tha legend fuckin started?  


DEAN shrugs n' opens tha medicine cabinet.  


**SAM  
** But accordin ta tha legend, tha thug whoz ass say B-  


SAM looks all up in tha medicine cabinet mirror, which now faces him, n' closes dat shit.  


**SAM  
** Da thug whoz ass say you know what tha fuck gets dat shit. But here-  


**DEAN  
** Shoemaker gets it instead, yeah.  


**SAM  
** Right.  


**DEAN  
** Never heard anythang like dat before. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Still, tha muthafucka did take a thugged-out dirtnap right up in front of tha mirror, n' tha daughterz right. Da way tha legend goes, you know whoz ass scratches yo' eyes out.  


**SAM  
** It aint nuthin but worth checkin up in to.  


_INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY  
  
_

A biatch visible from knees down approaches.  


_INT. BATHROOM - DAY  
  
_

SAM n' DEAN leave tha bathroom.  


_INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - DAY  
  
_

**CHARLIE  
** What is you bustin up here?  


**DEAN  
** We-we, had ta git all up in tha bathroom.  


**CHARLIE  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?  


**DEAN  
** Like we holla'd downstairs, our crazy asses hit dat shiznit wit Donnaz dad.  


**CHARLIE  
** Dude was a thugged-out dizzle trader or somethang yo. Dude hit dat shiznit by his dirty ass.  


**DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, I know, I meant-  


**CHARLIE  
** And all dem weird thangs downstairs, what tha fuck was that, biatch? So you tell me what tha fuck be happenin, or I start screaming.  


**SAM  
** All right, all right. We be thinkin suttin' happened ta Donnaz dad.  


**CHARLIE  
** Yeah, a stroke.  


**SAM  
** Thatz not a sign of a typical stroke. We be thinkin it might be suttin' else.  


**CHARLIE  
** Like what?  


**SAM  
** Honestly, biatch? Us dudes don't know fuck yet. But our phat asses don't want it ta happen ta any suckas. Thatz tha real deal.  


**DEAN  
** So, if you gonna scream, go right ahead.  


**CHARLIE  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is you, cops?  


SAM looks over his shoulder at DEAN.  


**DEAN  
** Somethang like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.  


**SAM  
** I be bout ta rap what tha fuck yo. Here.  


SAM reaches tha fuck into his thugged-out lil' pocket, pulls up a paper n' pen, n' starts freestylin down his cell number.  


**SAM  
** If you be thinkin of anything, you or yo' playaz notice anythang strange, outta tha ordinary...just give our asses a cold-ass lil call.  


SAM handz her tha paper as he n' DEAN strutt down tha hallway.  


_LIBRARY  
INT. LIBRARY - DAY  
  
_

SAM n' DEAN strutt tha fuck into a library, rather dark fo' tha time of day.  


**DEAN  
** All right, say Bloody Mary straight-up is hustlin dis town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Therez gonna be some sort of proof-Like a local biatch whoz ass took a dirt nap nasty.  


**SAM  
** Yeah but a legend dis widespread itz hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, there be a like 50 versionz of whoz ass she straight-up is. One rap say she a witch, another say she a mutilated bride, there be a a shitload mo' n' mo' n' mo'. They strutt up in ta tha actual library.  


**DEAN  
** All right so what tha fuck is we supposed ta be lookin for?  


**SAM  
** Every versionz gots all dem thangs up in common. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but always a biatch named Mary, n' she always takes a thugged-out dirt nap right up in front of a mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So we've gotta search local newspapers-hood recordz as far back as they go. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See if we can find a Mary whoz ass fits tha bill.  


**DEAN  
** Well dat soundz buggin.  


**SAM  
** No it won't be all kindsa bad, as long as we...

Dude looks all up in tha computas which all say "Out of Order" on dem wild-ass muthafuckas.   
SAM chuckles

 **SAM  
** I take it back. This is ghon be straight-up buggin.  


Cut scene ta DONNAz playa rollin up in a cold-ass lil hoopty poppin' off on her beeper.  


**Charlie  
** I aint sure. They was cops or detectives or something.  


Da beeper conversation is between DONNAz playa n' another hoe whoz ass was all up in tha funeral named Jill. Jill is up in her room takin off her sweater.  


**Jill  
** Whoever they were, they was cute.  


**Charlie  
** Jill  


**Jill  
** Yo ass didn't be thinkin so?  


**Charlie  
** Yeah aiiight they was cute. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Still, do you be thinkin suttin' happened ta DONNAz dad?  


**Jill  
** Maybe LILY was right. Maybe Bloody Mary gots his muthafuckin ass.  


**Charlie  
** Ha ha, straight-up funky.  


**Jill  
** Wait, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. Was dat fear I hear up in yo' voice?  


**Charlie  
** No.  


**Jill  
** Charlie, I be struttin ta tha bathroom mirror n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.  


**Charlie  
** Jill, quit dat shit.  


**Jill  
** Bitch gets ta her bathroom mirror. Oh shiiiiiiiit, I can't help mah dirty ass. I'ma say dat shit. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary.  


There be a silence on tha phone.  


**Charlie  
** Jill, biatch?   


Jill screams.   


**Charlie**  
Jill!?!  


**Jill  
** Starts laughing Yo ass is such a gangbangin' freak, I be bout ta call you tomorrow.

They hang up tha beeper n' Jill goes ta her closet ta finish gettin chizzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch opens tha door, n' on tha inside there be a mirror, where we peep Bloody Mary. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch closes tha closet door n' goes ta sit tha fuck down at her vanity, where of course there be another mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. We peep Bloody Mary as dat dunkadelic hoe takes her earrings out, n' then her reflection again n' again n' again when Jill strutts up in front of her TV screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jill goes back up in tha bathroom ta wash her grill yo, but as da hoe bendz down ta wash, her reflection up in tha mirror stays standing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks up n' sees her reflection lookin at her as if it was another person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Jill starts panickin as tha reflection up in tha mirror starts oozin blood outta its eyes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch reaches up n' feels blood on her own face.  


**Reflection  
** Yo ass done did dat shit. Yo ass capped dat boy.  


Jill falls down afta seemingly bein strangled ta dirtnap as her reflection up in tha mirror watches her muthafuckin ass.


	27. 1.05 Bloody Mary (ACT TWO)

Cut ta SAMz trip again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da flames sucked up tha fuck into Jessicaz body, our crazy asses hear "Why SAM?" n' SAM wakes up.  


**SAM**  
Why'd you let me fall asleep?  


**DEAN**  
Cause I be a phat brutha n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So what tha fuck did you trip about?  


**SAM**  
Lollipops n' candy canes.  


**DEAN**  
Yeah, sure.  


**SAM**  
Did yo dirty ass find anything?  


**DEAN**  
Oh besides a whole freshly smoked up level of frustration, biatch? SAM sits up. No. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I looked at every last muthafuckin thang fo' realz. A few local dem hoes, a Laura n' a Catherine committed suicizzle up in front of a mirror, n' a giant mirror fell tha fuck on a muthafucka named Dizzle yo, but uh, no Mary.  


**SAM**  
Falls back on tha bed. Maybe our laid-back asses just aint found it yet.  


**DEAN**  
I've also been searchin fo' strange dirtnaps up in tha area, you know...eyebizzle bleeding, dat sort of thang. Therez nothing. Whateverz goin' down here, maybe it just ain't Mary.  


SAMz cell beeper rings yo. Dude lyrics dat shit.  


**SAM**  
Hello, biatch? Us dudes do not hear whoz ass is callin yo, but a look of concern comes across SAMz face.  


Cut scene ta a park bench. Charlie is chillin there n' DEAN is chillin on tha back of it, n' SAM is standin there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Charlie is crying.  


**Charlie**  
And they found her on tha bathroom floor fo' realz. And her-her eyes. They was gone.  


**SAM**  
I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.  


**Charlie**  
And her big-ass booty holla'd dat shit. DEAN looks up at SAM. I heard her say dat shit. But it couldn't be cuz of dis shit. I be insane, right?  


**DEAN**  
Fuck dat shit, you not insane.  


**Charlie**  
Oh God, dat make me feel so much worse.  


**SAM**  
Look. We be thinkin somethingz goin' down here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang dat can't be explained.  


**DEAN**  
And we gonna stop it but we could use yo' help.  


Cut scene ta Jillz room. Charlie comes up in n' locks tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then goes over ta tha window n' opens it, where SAM n' DEAN is waitin ta enter n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM entas first n' DEAN throws his ass a thugged-out duffel bag. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sets it on tha bed n' starts goin all up in dat shit.  


**SAM**  
What did you tell Jillz mom?  


**Charlie  
** Just dat I needed some time ridin' solo wit Jillz pictures n' thangs. SAM pulls suttin' outta tha bag n'

DEAN shuts tha curtains. I don't give a fuck bout lyin ta her muthafuckin ass.  


**DEAN**  
Trust us, dis is fo' tha pimped outa good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Hit tha lights.  


**Charlie  
** goes over ta turn off tha lights. What is you muthafuckas lookin for?

 **DEAN  
** We bout ta let you know as soon as we find dat shit.

SAM has a gangbangin' finger-lickin' digital camera ready, n' handz it ta DEAN.

 **SAM  
** Yo, night vision. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

DEAN turns on tha night vision fo' his muthafuckin ass. Da digital camera be aimed at DEAN.  


**DEAN**  
Do I be lookin like Paris Hilton?  


SAM strutts away wit tha camera yo. Dude opens Jillz closet door n' begins filmin round tha mirror.  


**SAM**  
So I don't git dat shit. I mean...the first sucka didn't summon Mary, n' tha second sucka done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Howz dat thugged-out biiiatch choosin them?  


**DEAN**  
Beats mah dirty ass.  


SAM closes tha closet door.  


**DEAN**  
I wanna know why Jill holla'd it up in tha straight-up original gangsta place.  


**Charlie**  
It aint nuthin but just a joke.  


**DEAN**  
Yeah well some muthafuckaz gonna say it again, itz just a matta of time.  


SAM is up in tha bathroom filmin round tha mirror when da perved-out muthafucka stops n' sees tricklez of suttin' hustlin up from behind tha mirror.  


**SAM**  
Hey. DEAN n' Charlie turn ta peep his muthafuckin ass. Therez a funky-ass black light up in tha trunk, right?  


SAM has carried tha mirror up ta Jillz bed n' lays it on tha bed upside down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN throws his ass a funky-ass black light. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM peels off tha brown paper dat is on tha back of tha mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM shines tha black light over tha back of tha mirror n' we peep a handprint, n' tha lyrics "Gary Bryman."  


**Charlie**  
Gary Bryman?  


**SAM**  
Yo ass know whoz ass dat is?  


**Charlie**  
No.  


Cut scene ta outside, again n' again n' again on a funky-ass bench. DEAN n' Charlie is chillin on it, n' SAM comes up behind dem wild-ass muthafuckas.  


**SAM**  
So, Gary Bryman was a 8-year-old boy. Two muthafuckin years ago da thug was capped up in a hit n' run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da hoopty was busted lyrics bout as a funky-ass black Toyota Camry. But no muthafucka gots tha plates or saw tha driver.  


**Charlie**  
Oh mah Dogg.  


**SAM**  
What?  


**Charlie**  
Jill drove dat car.  


**DEAN**  
We need ta git back ta yo' playa DONNAz house.  


Cut scene ta tha bathroom of DONNAz house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is hunched over tha back of tha mirror wit a funky-ass black light. There be a handprint on it, n' tha lyrics "Linda Shoemaker".  


**SAM**  
Linda Shoemaker.  


Cut scene ta downstairs wit DONNA.  


**DONNA**  
Why is you askin me this?  


**SAM**  
Look, we sorry yo, but itz blingin.  


**DONNA**  
Yeah. Lindaz mah momma aiiight, biatch? Biatch overdosed on chillin pizzles, dat shiznit was a accident, n' thatz dat shit. I be thinkin you should muthafuckin bounce.  


**DEAN**  
Now DONNA, just listen.  


**DONNA**  
Git outta mah doggy den biaaatch! she runs upstairs.  


**Charlie**  
Oh mah Dogg. Do you straight-up be thinkin her daddy could've capped her mom?  


**SAM**  
Maybe.  


**Charlie**  
I be thinkin I should stick around.  


**DEAN**  
All right. Whatever you do, don't-  


**Charlie**  
Believe me, I won't say dat shit.  


Cut scene ta DEAN at a cold-ass lil computa n' SAM lookin at some thangs posted on a funky-ass bulletin board.  


**SAM**  
Wait, wait, wait, you bustin a nationwide search?  


**DEAN**  
Yep. Da NCIC, tha STD database-at dis point any Mary whoz ass took a dirt nap up in front of a mirror is phat enough fo' mah dirty ass.  


**SAM**  
But if dat freaky freaky biatch hustlin tha town, her big-ass booty should have took a dirt nap up in tha town.  


**DEAN**  
I be spittin some lyrics ta you there be a not a god damn thang local, I've checked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So unless you gots a funky-ass betta idea-  


**SAM**  
Da way Maryz choosin her suckas, it seems like there be a a pattern.  


**DEAN**  
I know, I was thankin tha SAMe thang.  


**SAM**  
With mista Shoemaker n' Jillz hit n' run.  


**DEAN**  
Both had secrets where playas died.  


**SAM**  
Right. I mean there be a a shitload of folklore bout mirrors-that they reveal all yo' lies, all yo' secrets, dat they a legit reflection of yo' soul, which is why itz shitty luck ta break dem wild-ass muthafuckas.  


**DEAN**  
Right, right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So maybe if you've gots a secret, I mean like a straight-up nasty one where one of mah thugs died, then Mary sees it, n' punishes you fo' dat shit.  


**SAM**  
Whether you tha one dat summoned her or not.  


**DEAN  
** Take a peep all dis bullshit. Cut ta a picture of a biatch lyin by a mirror up in a puddle of blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!

DEAN prints up another picture n' handz it ta SAM. Da picture iz of a handprint n' tha lettas "Tre"  


**SAM**  
Looks like tha SAMe handprint.  


**DEAN**  
Her name was Mary Worthington-an unsolved cappin' up in Fort Weezy, Indiana.  


Cut ta a five-o or detectizzle agency, n' tha lyrics "Fort Weezy, Indiana" come on tha screen.  


**Detective**  
I was on tha thang fo' 35 years-detectizzle fo' most of dis shit. Now dem hoes packs it up in wit all dem loose endz yo, but tha Mary Worthington murder-that one still gets mah dirty ass.  


**DEAN**  
What exactly happened?  


**Detective**  
Yo ass thugs holla'd you was hustlas?  


**SAM**  
We know Mary was 19, lived by her muthafuckin ass. We know dat biiiiatch won all dem local beauty contests, dreamt of gettin outta Indiana, bein a playette fo' realz. And we know tha night of March 29th one of mah thugs broke tha fuck into her crib n' murdered her, cut up her eyes wit a knife.  


**Detective**  
Thatz right.  


**SAM**  
See sir, when we axed you what tha fuck happened, we wanted ta know what tha fuck you be thinkin happened.  


Cut scene ta tha detectizzle pullin some filez outta a gangbangin' file cabinet.  


**Detective**  
Technically I aint supposed ta git a cold-ass lil copy of all dis bullshit. Dude opens a gangbangin' file ta tha picture SAM n' DEAN found on tha computer. Now peep dat there, biatch? T-R-E?  


**DEAN**  
Yeah.  


**Detective**  
I be thinkin Mary was tryin ta spell up tha name of her killer.  


**SAM**  
Yo ass know whoz ass it was?  


**Detective  
** Not fo' sure. But there was a local dude, a surgeon-Trevor SAMpson. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Dude pulls up a picture of a man.

 **Detective  
** And I be thinkin he cut her up good.

 **SAM**  
Now why would da ruffneck do suttin' like that?  


**Detective**  
Her diary mentioned a playa dat dat biiiiatch was seeing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch called his ass by his crazy-ass muthafuckin initial, "T". Well, her last entry, dat biiiiatch was gonna tell "T"z hoe bout they affair.  


**DEAN**  
Yeah but how tha fuck do you know dat shiznit was SAMpson whoz ass capped her?  


**Detective**  
It aint nuthin but hard ta say yo, but tha way her eyes was cut out...it was almost professional.  


**DEAN**  
But you could never prove it?  


**Detective**  
No. No prints, no witnesses yo. Dude was meticulous.  


**DEAN**  
Is da perved-out muthafucka still kickin it?  


**Detective**  
Nope. sits down n' sighs If you ask me, Mary dropped her last livin moments tryin ta expose dis muthafuckaz secret. But she never could.  


**SAM**  
Wherez da hoe buried?  


**Detective**  
Bitch wasn't. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was cremated.  


**DEAN**  
What bout dat mirror nodz all up in tha one up in tha picture. It aint nuthin but not up in some evidence lockup somewhere is it?  


**Detective**  
Ah, no. Dat shiznit was moonwalked back ta Maryz crew a long-ass time ago.  


**SAM**  
Yo ass have tha namez of her crew by any chance?  


Cut scene ta tha inside of a girlz bathroom at a school where DONNA n' Charlie is struttin in.  


**DONNA**  
I mean, you brang these strangers tha fuck into mah doggy den n' they ask me thangs like that?  


**Charlie**  
They was only tryin ta help. Please, DONNA, you gotta believe mah dirty ass.  


**DONNA**  
What, biatch? Bout Bloody Mary, biatch? Of course they have now stopped up in front of tha mirror.  


**Charlie**  
Please, I know it soundz crazy-  


**DONNA**  
Crazy-Ass don't even begin ta cover dat shit. I mean itz one thang fo' mah sista ta believe dis crap, she 12. But yo slick ass?  


**Charlie**  
Think bout tha way yo' daddy died, aiiight, biatch? And tha way Jill died.  


**DONNA**  
Okay so she turns ta grill tha mirror Bloody Mary.  


**Charlie**  
No!  


**DONNA**  
Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary. Bitch turns back ta grill Charlie See, biatch? Nothang happened.  


**Charlie**  
Why would you do that?  


**DONNA**  
Oh mah Dogg. There straight-up is suttin' wack wit you, biatch.  


Cut scene ta tha school halls. Charlie is struttin down past some windows tha fuck into tha classroom, n' we peep Bloody Mary up in one of dem wild-ass muthafuckas.


	28. 1.05 Bloody Mary (ACT THREE)

We come back ta a physics/science class at Charliez school.

 **Teacher  
** Elements dat loose electrons become positizzle ions, which is smalla than other atomz of tha same element.

Charlie opens up her compact.

 **Teacher**  
Therefore tha ionic radius is smalla than tha atomic radius.

Charlie sees Bloody Mary up in tha corner n' screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da class freaks up as her big-ass booty starts hustlin round tha room.

 **Teacher**  
Charlie biaaatch!

Bitch sees tha reflection of Mary up in tha window of tha door, picks up a stool, n' throws it all up in tha window.

 **Teacher**  
Charlie!!!

Da mackdaddy catches Charlie.

 **Teacher**  
Charlie stop dat shiznit son! Whatz wrong!, biatch? Just quit trippin' out.

Charlie sees Mary up in tha reflection of tha mackdaddyz glasses.

 **Charlie  
** Aah! Let me go!

 **Teacher  
** Charlie biaaatch! Charlie runs outta tha room.

Cut ta SAM n' DEAN rollin down tha road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM is on his beeper.

 **SAM  
** Oh straight-up, biatch? Ah thatz too shitty Mista Muthafuckin Worthington. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I would have paid a shitload fo' dat mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Okay, well maybe next time fo' realz. All right, props.

SAM hangs up.

 **DEAN  
** So?

 **SAM  
** So dat was Maryz brutha n' shit. Da mirror was up in tha crew fo' years, until da perved-out muthafucka sold it one week ago ta a store called Estate Antiques fo' realz. A store up in Toledo.

 **DEAN  
** So wherever tha mirror goes, thatz where Mary goes?

 **SAM  
** Her spiritz definitely tied up wit it somehow.

 **DEAN  
** Isn't there a oldschool superstizzle dat say mirrors can capture spirits?

 **SAM  
** Yeah there is. Yeah, when one of mah thugs would take a thugged-out dirtnap up in a doggy den playas would cover up tha mirrors so tha pimp wouldn't git trapped.

 **DEAN  
** So Mary takes a thugged-out dirt nap up in front of a mirror, n' it draws up in her spirit, n' I aint talkin bout no muthafuckin Jack Daniels neither.

 **SAM  
** Yeah but how tha fuck could she move all up in like a hundred different mirrors?

 **DEAN  
** I don't give a fuck yo, but if tha mirror is tha source, I say we find it n' smash dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, I don't give a fuck, maybe. SAMz cell beeper rings. Hello. Da look of concern comes across his wild lil' grill again Charlie?

Cut scene ta wherever SAM n' DEAN where staying. Charlie is chillin on tha bed wit her head on her knees n' SAM n' DEAN have all of tha curtains drawn shut, n' is throwin sheets over tha mirrors, or facin dem ta tha wall or floor.

 **SAM  
** Sits next ta Charlie Yo, hey itz ok. Yo, you can open up yo' eyes Charlie. It aint nuthin but all gravy, all right?

Charlie looks up slowly.

 **SAM  
** Now listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass is gonna stay right here on dis bed, n' you not gonna peep glass, or anythang else dat has a reflection, aiiight, biatch? And as long as you do that, dat thugged-out biiiatch cannot git you, biatch.

 **Charlie  
** But I can't keep dat up forever n' shit. I'ma die, aren't I?

 **SAM  
** No. No. Not anytime soon.

 **DEAN  
** Sits on tha bed too All right Charlie. We need ta know what tha fuck happened.

 **Charlie  
** Us thugs was up in tha bathroom. DONNA holla'd dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz not what tha fuck we poppin' off about. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang happened, didn't it, biatch? In yo' game...a secret...where one of mah thugs gots hurt. Yo ass betta tell our asses bout it?

 **Charlie  
** I had dis pimp yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. I loved his muthafuckin ass. But he kind of scared mah crazy ass too, you know, biatch? And one night, at his house, we gots up in dis fight. Then I broke up wit him, n' he gots upset, n' da perved-out muthafucka holla'd he needed mah crazy ass n' he loved me, n' da perved-out muthafucka holla'd "Charlie, if you strutt up dat door up in dis biatch, I'ma bust a cap up in mah dirty ass." And you know what tha fuck I holla'd, biatch? I holla'd "Go ahead." And I left yo. How tha fuck could I say that, biatch? How tha fuck could I leave his ass like that, biatch? I just...I didn't believe him, you know, biatch? I should have. Bitch puts her grill back on her knees n' starts bustin up like a biatch again.

Cut scene ta SAM n' DEAN rollin up in tha rain.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know her pimp cappin' his dirty ass, thatz not straight-up Charliez fault.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know as well as I do spirits don't exactly peep shadez of gray, DEAN. Charlie had a secret, one of mah thugs died, thatz phat enough fo' Mary.

 **DEAN  
** I guess.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, I've been thinking. Well shiiiit, it might not be enough ta just smash dat mirror.

 **DEAN  
** Why, what tha fuck do you mean?

 **SAM  
** Well Maryz hard ta pin down, right, biatch? I mean she moves round from mirror ta mirror so whoz ta say dat she not just gonna keep hidin up in dem forever, biatch? So maybe we should try ta pin her down, you know, summon her ta her mirror n' then smash dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Well how tha fuck do you know thatz goin ta work?

 **SAM  
** I don't, not fo' sure.

 **DEAN  
** Well whoz gonna summon her?

 **SAM  
** I will. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch bout ta fuckin come afta mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know what, thatz dat shit. Dude pulls tha hoopty over. This be bout Jessica, aint it, biatch? Yo ass be thinkin thatz yo' dirty lil secret dat you capped her somehow, biatch? SAM, dis has gots ta stop, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I mean, tha nightmares n' callin her name up in tha middle of tha night-itz gonna bust a cap up in you, biatch. Now dig me-It wasn't yo' fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame tha thang dat capped her n' shit. Or hell, why don't you take a swin all up in mah grill son, biatch? I mean I be tha one dat dragged you away from her up in tha straight-up original gangsta place.

 **SAM  
** I don't blame you, biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Well you shouldn't blame yo ass, cuz there be a not a god damn thang you could've done.

 **SAM  
** I could've warned her muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Bout what, biatch? Yo ass didn't give a fuck what tha fuck was gonna happen! And besides, all of dis aint a secret, I mean I know all bout dat shit. It aint nuthin but not gonna work wit Mary anyway.

 **SAM  
** No you don't.

 **DEAN  
** I don't what?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass don't give a fuck all bout dat shit. I aint holla'd at you every last muthafuckin thang.

 **DEAN  
** What is you poppin' off about?

 **SAM  
** Well it wouldn't straight-up be a secret if I holla'd at you, would it?

Dean looks surprised

 **DEAN**  
No. I don't like dat shit. It aint nuthin but not gonna happen, forget dat shit.

 **SAM  
** DEAN dat hoe back there is goin ta take a thugged-out dirtnap unless our phat asses do suttin' bout it fo' realz. And you know what, biatch? Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knows how tha fuck nuff mo' playas is gonna take a thugged-out dirtnap afta that, biatch? Now our phat asses bustin all dis bullshit. You've gots ta let me do this.

Cut scene ta tha shop. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is tryin ta pick tha lock on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it opens n' they peep nuff mirrors is up in dis shop.

 **DEAN  
** Well...thatz just pimped out. Dude pulls up tha picture of Maryz dead body ta peep tha mirror. All right letz start looking.

They split up n' strutt round tha store n' we peep a gangbangin' flashin light dat seems ta be part of a alarm.

 **DEAN  
** Maybe they've already sold dat shit.

SAMz flashlight stops on tha mirror.

 **SAM  
** I don't be thinkin so.

DEAN strutts over ta his ass n' pulls up tha picture again n' again n' again ta compare. Well shiiiit, it is tha mirror.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz dat shit. sighs Yo ass shizzle bout this, biatch? SAM handz DEAN tha flashlight.

Sam sighs.

 **SAM  
** Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary.

He looks at DEAN whoz ass gives his ass a unsure look back. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM picks up tha crowbar

 **SAM**  
Bloody Mary.


	29. 1.05 Bloody Mary (ACT FOUR)

DEAN turns ta peep a light comin all up in tha store.  


**DEAN  
** I be bout ta go check dat out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stay here, be careful naaahhmean, biatch?

SAM readies tha crowbar again Smash anythang dat moves. DEAN crawls away towardz tha front door yo. Dude sees a headlight. Crap. Dude puts tha crowbar down n' begins ta strutt ta tha door.  
Meanwhile SAM hears a funky-ass breath, so tha pimpin' muthafucka turns ta peep a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different mirror, when tha camera turns back ta Maryz we peep her up in dat shit.  


Cut scene back ta DEAN whoz ass is now outside facin police.

 **Police**  
Hold dat shit.  


**DEAN**  
Woah muthafuckas, false alarm, I tripped tha system.  


**Police**  
Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is yo slick ass?  


**DEAN**  
I be tha bosss kid.  


**Police**  
Yo ass is Mista Yamashiroz kid?  


Cut scene back ta SAM. We peep Mary up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different mirror now, nahmeean, biatch? Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sees her there outta tha corner of his wild lil' fuckin eye n' smashes tha mirror wit tha crowbar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different one now, n' da perved-out muthafucka sees her n' smashes dat mirror like a muthafucka yo. Dude is now back facin her mirror.  


**SAM**  
Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Come tha fuck into dis one.  


SAM looks oddly at his bangin reflection, which has now taken a mind of its own like Jill's. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM starts havin shiznit breathang n' has a trickle of blood comin outta his wild lil' fuckin eye yo. Dude drops tha crowbar n' grabs his thugged-out ass.  


**Reflection**  
It aint nuthin but yo' fault. Yo ass capped her n' shit. Yo ass capped Jessica.  


Cut back ta DEAN outside.  


**DEAN**  
Like I holla'd, I was adopted.  


**Police**  
Yeah.  


**DEAN  
** Is bein covered back n' front by tha two cops. Yo ass know, I just-I straight-up aint gots time fo' dis n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

Dude punches one cop, backhandz tha other, then punches tha cop up in front of his ass again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They is now on tha ground.  


Cut scene ta SAM n' his bangin reflection.  


**Reflection  
** Yo ass never holla'd at her tha real deal-who you straight-up were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

SAM is now fallin towardz tha ground.

 **Reflection**  
But itz mo' than that, aint it, biatch? Those nightmares you've been havin of Jizzica dying, screaming, burning-Yo ass had dem fo' minutes before her dope ass died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Didn't you, nahmean biiiatch??! Yo ass was so desperate ta ignore them, ta believe they was just dreams yo. How tha fuck could you ignore dem like that, biatch? How tha fuck could you leave her ridin' solo ta die!?! Yo ass dreamt it would happen!!!  


DEANz crowbar goes all up in tha mirror.  


DEAN bendz down ta tha floor ta SAM.

 **DEAN**  
SAM, SAMmy!  


**SAM**  
It aint nuthin but SAM.  


**DEAN**  
God, is you aiiight?  


**SAM**  
Uh, yeah.  


**DEAN  
** Come on, come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Dude pulls SAM up yo. Dude puts SAMz arm over his neck, n' they begin ta strutt out, until Mary (again, much like SAMara comin outta tha TV up in Da Ring) comes outta tha frame of tha mirror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They turn round ta peep her crawlin over tha fucked up glass. May strutts towardz dem n' they both fall ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They both start bleedin from tha grill yo, but DEAN reaches up n' pulls over a mirror so dat Mary is forced ta peep her own reflection.  


**Reflection**  
Yo ass capped them! All dem playas biaaatch! Yo ass capped them!  


Mary starts chokin ta dirtnap n' melts tha fuck into a pile of blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! DEAN throws down tha mirror dat schmoooove muthafucka held n' it shatters.  


**DEAN  
** Yo SAM?

 **SAM**  
Yeah?  


**DEAN**  
This has gots ta be like...what, biatch? 600 muthafuckin yearz of shitty luck?  


SAM chucklez weakly.


	30. 1.05 Bloody Mary (ACT FIVE)

We come back ta SAM n' DEAN rollin up in tha hoopty wit Charlie up in tha back. They pull up in front of a house.  


**Charlie**  
So dis is straight-up over?  


DEAN nods.

 **DEAN**  
Yeah, itz over.  


**Charlie  
** Nuff props, biatch.

DEAN reaches back ta shake her hand, n' she gets outta tha car.  


**SAM  
** Charlie, biatch?

Charlie turns around

 **SAM**  
Yo crazy-ass boyfriendz dirtnap...you straight-up should try ta forgive yo ass. No matta what tha fuck you did, you probably couldn't have stopped dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes shitty thangs just happen.  


Charlie smilez faintly, then turns round ta go tha fuck into tha house.  


DEAN gently hits SAM

 **DEAN**  
Thatz phat lyrics.

They drive off

 **DEAN**  
Yo SAM?  


**SAM**  
Yeah?  


**DEAN  
** Now dat dis be all over, I want you ta tell me what tha fuck dat secret is.

 **SAM  
** Look...yo ass is mah brutha n' I'd take a thugged-out dirtnap fo' you yo, but there be some thangs I need ta keep ta mah dirty ass.

SAM looks up tha window n' sees Jizzica up in a white dress on tha street corner standin next ta a light pole, as they turn tha corner her dope ass disappears behind tha pole, n' our phat asses don't peep her again.


	31. 1.06 Skin (NOW)

**POLICE OFFICER**  
It’s ok. It’s ok.

The girl points to the room across the hall.

 **GIRL**  
In there! In there!

The S.W.A.T team moves to the other room. The man is there, trying to open a pair of doors leading to a balcony.

 **POLICE OFFICER**  
Freeze! Don’t move! Drop the knife. Keep your hands where I can see ‘em. Drop it! Hold it right there! Do it!

The man turns around. It is DEAN. The screen goes black.


	32. 1.06 Skin (ACT ONE)

(FADE IN: Gas Station. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. One Week Earlier n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN pull tha fuck into tha station.)

 **DEAN** **  
** Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.

SAM do not respond.

 **DEAN**  
Sam wears dem hoes’s underwear.

 **SAM** **  
** I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy.

Dude is checkin e-mails on his PalmPilot.

 **DEAN** **  
** Busy doin’ what?

 **SAM** **  
** Readin e-mails.

DEAN gets outta tha hoopty n' starts ta fill tha tank wit gas.

 **DEAN** **  
** E-mails from who?

 **SAM** **  
** From mah playaz at Stanford.

 **DEAN** **  
** You’re kidding. Yo ass still keep up in bust a nut on wit yo' college buddies?

 **SAM** **  
** Why not?

 **DEAN** **  
** Well, what tha fuck exactly do you tell ‘em, biatch? Yo ass know, bout where you’ve been, what tha fuck you’ve been doin’?

 **SAM** **  
** I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip wit mah big-ass brutha n' shit. I tell ‘em I needed some time off afta Jess.

 **DEAN** **  
** Oh, so you lie ta ‘em.

 **SAM** **  
** No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

 **DEAN** **  
** Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, dude, I git it, tellin’ tha real deal is far worse.

 **SAM** **  
** So, what tha fuck is I supposed ta do, just cut dem hoes outta mah game, biatch? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re trippin like a muthafucka?

 **DEAN** **  
** Look, it sucks yo, but up in a thang like this, you can’t git close ta people, period.

 **SAM** **  
** You’re kind of anti-social, you know that?

 **DEAN** **  
** Yeah, whatever n' shit.

SAM continues ta read his wild lil' fuckin e-mails.

 **SAM**  
God….

 **DEAN**  
What?

 **SAM**  
In dis e-mail from dis girl, Rebecky Warren, one of dem playaz of mine.

 **DEAN  
** Is dat freaky freaky biatch hot, biatch?

SAM ignores his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM**  
I went ta school wit her, n' her brother, Zack. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch say Zack’s been charged wit cappin' n' shiznit yo. He’s been arrested fo' cappin' his wild lil' freakadelic hoe yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. Rebecky say da ruffneck didn’t do it yo, but it soundz like tha cops gotz a pimpin' phat case.

 **DEAN**  
Dude, what tha fuck kind of playas is you hangin’ up with?

 **SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, dude, I know Zack yo. He’s no killer.

 **DEAN**  
Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you, biatch.

 **SAM**  
They’re up in St. Louis. We’re goin’.

DEAN chuckles.

 **DEAN**  
Look, sorry ‘bout yo' dawg, aiiight, biatch? But dis do not sound like our kind of problem.

 **SAM**  
It be our problem. They’re mah playas.

 **DEAN**  
St. Louis is four hundred milez behind us, Sam.

They exchange a look fo' realz. A minute later, they pull outta tha gas station n' start driving.

CUT TO: EXT. - REBECCA’s house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch opens tha door n' sees SAM n' DEAN.

 **REBECCA**  
(happily) Oh mah God, Sam!

 **SAM**  
Well, if it aint lil Becky.

 **REBECCA  
** Yo ass know what tha fuck you can do wit dat lil Becky crap.

Bitch smilez n' they hug.

 **SAM**  
I gots yo' e-mail.

 **REBECCA  
** I didn’t be thinkin dat you would come here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

DEAN steps forward n' extendz his hand.

DEAN. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Older brutha n' shit. (Bitch shakes his hand.)

 **REBECCA**  
Hi.

 **DEAN**  
Hi.

 **SAM**  
We’re here ta help. Whatever we can do.

 **REBECCA  
** Come in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

They strutt inside tha house, n' DEAN shuts tha door.

(CUT TO: INT. - House.)

DEAN: Sick place.

 **REBECCA**  
It’s mah muthafathas’. I was just crashin here fo' tha long weekend when every last muthafuckin thang happened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I decided ta take tha semesta off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free.

 **SAM**  
Where is yo' folks?

 **REBECCA**  
They live up in Paris fo' half tha year, so they’re on they way home now fo' tha trial. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. (They enta tha kitchen.) Do you muthafuckas want a funky-ass brew or something?

 **DEAN**  
(smiling) Hey-

 **SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, props. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, tell our asses what tha fuck happened.

 **REBECCA**  
Well, um, Zack came home, n' he found Emily tied ta a cold-ass lil chair fo' realz. And dat biiiiatch was beaten up n' bloody, n' dat biiiiatch wasn’t breathing. (Bitch starts ta cry like a muthafucka.) So, his schmoooove ass called 911, n' tha police-they flossed up, n' they arrested his muthafuckin ass. But, tha thang is, tha only way dat Zack could’ve capped Emily is if da thug was up in two places all up in tha same time. Da police-they gotz a vizzle. It’s from tha securitizzle tape from across tha street fo' realz. And it shows Zack comin home at 10:30. Now, Emily was capped just afta dat yo, but I swear, da thug was here wit me, havin all dem brews until at least afta midnight.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, maybe we could peep tha crime scene. Zack’s house.

 **DEAN  
** We could.

 **REBECCA  
** Why, biatch? I mean, what tha fuck could you do?

 **SAM**  
Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cold-ass lil cop.

DEAN laughs.

 **DEAN**  
Detective, actually.

 **REBECCA  
** Fo' realz, biatch? (DEAN nods.) Where?

 **DEAN**  
Bisbee, Arizona. But I’m off-duty now, nahmeean?

 **REBECCA  
** Yo ass muthafuckas, it’s so sick ta offer yo, but I just-I don’t know.

 **SAM  
** Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do all dis bullshit. Now, we gotta find a way ta prove dat he’s innocent.

 **REBECCA  
** Okay. I’m gonna go git tha keys.

Bitch strutts away, down tha hall.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, yeah, dude, you’re a real straight blasta wit yo' playas.

 **SAM  
** Look, Zack n' Becky need our help.

 **DEAN**  
I just don’t be thinkin dis is our kind of problem.

 **SAM  
** Two places at once, biatch? We’ve looked tha fuck into less.

DEAN say nothing, defeated.


	33. 1.06 Skin (ACT TWO)

FADE TO: EXT. - ZACK’s house. DEAN, SAM, n' REBECCA park tha hoopty n' git out.

 **REBECCA** : (to DEAN) You’re shizzle dis be all gravy?

 **DEAN** : Yeah. I be a fool of tha law.

They strutt ta tha house.

CUT TO: INT. - ZACK’s house. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN enta n' look around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da furniture n' wallz of tha doggy den is smeared wit blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! REBECCA stays on tha porch steps.

 **SAM** : Bec, you wanna wait outside?

 **REBECCA** : No. I wanna help.

Bitch ducks under tha five-o tape n' entas tha house.

 **SAM** : Tell our asses what tha fuck else tha five-o holla'd.

 **REBECCA** : (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a funky-ass break-in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They say dat Emily let her attacker in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da lawyers-they’re already poppin' off bout plea bargain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (Bitch looks round tha room, crying.) Oh, God….

 **SAM** : Look, Bec, if Zack didn’t do this, it means one of mah thugs done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Any scam who, biatch?

REBECCA shakes her head, then begins ta remember something.

 **REBECCA** : Um, there was something, on some week before. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some Muthafucka broke up in here n' stole some clothes-Zack’s clothes. Da police-they don’t be thinkin it’s anything. I mean, we’re not dat far from downtown. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes playas git robbed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (SAM strutts away. DEAN moves ta tha open front door n' sees tha neighbor’s dog, barkin loudly. REBECCA comes up behind his muthafuckin ass.) Yo ass know, dat used ta be tha dopeest dog.

 **DEAN** : What happened?

 **REBECCA** : Dude just chizzled.

 **DEAN** : Do you remember when his schmoooove ass chizzled?

 **REBECCA** : I guess round tha time of tha cappin' n' shit.

DEAN looks at her, then strutts away.

CUT TO: INT. - House. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is up in tha hallway, lookin at a gangbangin' framed picture of his dirty ass, ZACK, n' REBECCA. DEAN strutts over ta his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN** : So, tha neighbor’s dawg went psycho right round tha time Zack’s hoe was capped.

 **SAM** : Animals can gotz a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass sharp sense of tha paranormal.

 **DEAN** : Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’.

 **SAM** : So, you be thinkin maybe dis is our kind of problem?

 **DEAN** : No. Probably not. But we should peep tha securitizzle tape, you know, just ta make sure.

 **SAM** : Yeah.

 **DEAN** : Yeah. (REBECCA strutts over ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas.) So, tha tape. Da securitizzle footage-you be thinkin maybe yo' lawyers could git they handz on it, ‘cause I just don’t have dat kind of jurisdiction.

 **REBECCA** : I’ve already gots dat shit. I didn’t wanna say suttin' up in front of tha cop. (DEAN laughs.) I stole it off tha lawyer’s desk. I just had ta peep it fo' mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN** : All right.

All three of dem muthafuckin bounce.

FADE TO: Street. ZACK is chillin on a funky-ass bench across tha street from a crib yo. Dude watches a Asian playa come outta tha doggy den wit his hoe, LINDSAY.

 **MAN** : I’ll be home tomorrow night. I’ll make it up ta you, biatch.

They kiss. Da playa gets up in his hoopty n' drives away. ZACK watches LINDSAY go back up in tha crib yo. Dude smilez wickedly, n' his wild lil' fuckin eyes glint silver fo' a moment, before returnin ta normal.

FADE TO: INT. - REBECCA’s house. Livin room. DEAN, SAM, n' REBECCA is watchin tha securitizzle footage.  


**REBECCA** : Here his schmoooove ass comes.

Da tape shows ZACK enterin his house.

 **DEAN** : (noticin tha timestamp) 22:04, that’s just afta ten. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass holla'd time of dirtnap was bout 10:30.

 **REBECCA** : Our lawyers hired some kind of vizzle expert yo. Dude say tha tape’s authentic. Well shiiiit, it wasn’t tampered with.

SAM seems ta notice suttin' on tha tape.

 **SAM** : Yo, Bec, can we take dem brews now?

 **REBECCA** : Oh, sure. Bitch gets up ta git all up in tha kitchen.

 **SAM** : Hey. (Bitch turns around.) Maybe some sandwiches, too?

 **REBECCA** : What do you be thinkin dis is, Hooters, biatch?

Bitch leaves tha room.

 **DEAN** : I wish. (Dude strutts over ta SAM.) What tha fuck iz it?

 **SAM** : Peep dis out.

Dude rewindz tha tape, then replays dat shit. One of tha frames shows ZACK lookin directly all up in tha camera yo. His eyes is silver n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM pauses tha tape.

 **DEAN** : Well, maybe it’s just a cold-ass lil camera flare.

 **SAM** : That’s not like any camera flare I’ve eva seen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass know, a shitload of cultures believe dat a photograph can catch a glimpse of tha ass.

 **DEAN** : Right.

 **SAM** : Remember dat dawg dat was freakin’ out, biatch? Maybe da perved-out muthafucka saw dis thang. Maybe dis is some kind of dark double of Zack’s, suttin' dat be lookin like his ass but aint his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN** : Like a Doppelganger.

 **SAM** : Yeah. It’d shizzle explain how tha fuck da thug was two places at once.  


CUT TO: INT. - House. Da Asian playa enters.

 **MAN** : Honey, it’s mah dirty ass. Flight shut down all up in tha last minute. (Dude sets down his briefcase n' keys n' looks around.) I called. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Why didn’t you answer, biatch? (LINDSAY don’t respond.) Lindsay, biatch? (Dude looks around.) Lindsay, biatch? (Dude turns round n' sees blood spattered on tha wall.) Lindsay?! (Dude opens tha door ta a nearby room n' findz LINDSAY. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is tied up in a cold-ass lil chair, beaten n' bloody. Da playa rushes over ta her n' takes tha gag outta her grill.) It’s ok, Lindsay, it’s mah dirty ass.

 **LINDSAY** : Please, don’t hurt me no mo'! Leave me alone biaaatch!

Da playa looks at her, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude hears a noise up in tha other room n' leaves. In tha livin room, tha playa looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly, tha pimpin' muthafucka turns n' sees his dirty ass, standin there wit a funky-ass basebizzle bat. Da playa is puzzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da double’s eyes glint silver, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka hits tha playa over tha head wit tha bat. Da screen goes black.


	34. 1.06 Skin (ACT THREE)

  
_(CUT_ TO: _INT. - House.)_  


 

Da Asian playa enters.

 

**MAN**

Honey, it’s mah dirty ass. Flight shut down all up in tha last minute.

 

Dude sets down his briefcase n' keys n' looks around.

 

**MAN**

I called. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Why didn’t you answer, biatch?

 

LINDSAY don’t respond.

 

**MAN**

Lindsay, biatch?

 

Dude looks around.

 

**MAN**

Lindsay, biatch?

 

Dude turns round n' sees blood spattered on tha wall.

 

**MAN**

Lindsay?!

 

Dude opens tha door ta a nearby room n' findz LINDSAY. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is tied up in a cold-ass lil chair, beaten n' bloody. Da playa rushes over ta her n' takes tha gag outta her grill.

 

**MAN**

It’s ok, Lindsay, it’s mah dirty ass.

 

**LINDSAY**

Please, don’t hurt me no mo'! Leave me alone biaaatch!

 

Da playa looks at her, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude hears a noise up in tha other room n' leaves. In tha livin room, tha playa looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly, tha pimpin' muthafucka turns n' sees his dirty ass, standin there wit a funky-ass basebizzle bat. Da playa is puzzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da double’s eyes glint silver, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka hits tha playa over tha head wit tha bat. Da screen goes black.

 

  
_(FADE_ IN: _EXT. - ZACK’s house.)_  


 

DEAN n' SAM park they hoopty behind tha doggy den n' git out.

 

**DEAN**

Alright, so what tha fuck is our phat asses doin’ here at 5:30 up in tha morning?

 

**SAM**

I realized something. Da vizzletape shows tha killa goin’ up in yo, but not comin’ out.

 

**DEAN**

So, his schmoooove ass came up tha back door, biatch?

 

Dude leans against tha hood of his car.

 

**SAM**

Right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, there should be a trail ta follow fo' realz. A trail tha five-o would never pursue.

  
**DEAN**   


‘Cause they be thinkin tha killa never left fo' realz. And they caught yo' playa Zack inside. I still don’t know what tha fuck we’re doin’ here at 5:30 up in tha morning.

 

SAM looks round tha outside of tha building, n' notices blood smeared on a nearby telephone pole.

 

**SAM**

Blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Some Muthafucka came dis way.

 

**DEAN**

Yeah yo, but tha trail ends. I don’t peep anythang over here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 

An ambulizzle drives past them, n' they exchange a look.

 

_(CUT TO: EXT. - House.)_

 

DEAN n' SAM observe tha scene.

Da Asian playa is handcuffed n' is steppin tha fuck into a five-o car.

 

**DEAN**

(To nearby biatch) What happened?

 

**WOMAN**

Dude tried ta bust a cap up in his hoe. Tied her up n' beat her muthafuckin ass.

 

**SAM**

Fo' realz?

 

**WOMAN**

I used ta peep his ass goin ta work up in tha mornin yo. He’d wave, say wassup yo. Dude seemed like such a sick muthafucka.

 

They peep tha playa git taken away.

 

_(CUT TO: EXT. - House. Later n' shit.)_

 

Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is on tha side of tha house, lookin around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude looks inside two garbage cans but findz not a god damn thang yo. Dude moves ta tha front of tha house, where DEAN comes behind his muthafuckin ass.

 

**DEAN**

Hey.

 

SAM turns around.

 

**DEAN**

Remember when I holla'd dis wasn’t our kind of problem?

 

**SAM**

Yeah.

 

**DEAN**

Definitely our kind of problem.

 

**SAM**

What’d you smoke up?

 

**DEAN**

Well, I just talked ta tha patrolman whoz ass was first on tha scene, heard dis muthafucka, Alex’s rap fo' realz. Apparently tha dude was rollin home from a funky-ass bidnizz trip when his hoe was attacked.

 

**SAM**

So, da thug was two places at once.

 

**DEAN**

Exactly. Then da perved-out muthafucka sees his dirty ass up in tha house, five-o be thinkin he’s a nutjob.

 

**SAM**

Two dark doublez comin' at loved ones up in exactly tha same way.

 

**DEAN**

Could be tha same thang doin’ it, like a muthafucka.

 

SAM be thinkin fo' a second.

 

**SAM**

Shapeshifter, biatch?

 

DEAN shrugs.

 

**SAM**

Somethang dat can make itself be lookin like mah playas?

 

**DEAN**

Every culture up in tha ghetto has a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifta lore. Yo ass know, legendz of creatures whoz ass can transform theyselves tha fuck into muthafuckas or other men.

 

**SAM**

Right, skinwalkers, werewolves.

 

**DEAN**

We’ve gots two attacks within blockz of each other n' shit. I’m guessin’ we’ve gots a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifta prowlin’ tha hood.

 

**SAM**

Let me ask you this-in all dis shapeshifta lore, can any of dem fly?

 

**DEAN**

Not dat I know of.

 

**SAM**

I picked up a trail here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone ran up tha back of dis buildin n' headed off dis way.

 

**DEAN**

Just like yo' playa’s house.

 

**SAM**

Yeah fo' realz. And, just like at Zack’s house, tha trail suddenly ends. I mean, whatever it is just disappeared.

 

**DEAN**

Well, there’s another way ta go-down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 

They look down n' notice a manhole.

 

_(CUT TO: Sewer n' shit.)_

 

DEAN n' SAM climb down tha manhole n' look around.

 

**SAM**

I bet dis runs right by Zack’s house, like a muthafucka. Da shapeshifta could be rockin tha sewer system ta git around.

 

**DEAN**

I be thinkin you’re right. Look at all dis bullshit.

 

They bend down n' examine a pile of blood n' skin on tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They is both disgusted.

 

**SAM**

Is dis from his suckas, biatch?

 

DEAN takes up a pocketknife n' holdz up a shitload of tha skin.

 

**DEAN**

Yo ass know, I just had a sick thought. When tha shapeshifta chizzlez shape-maybe it sheds.

 

**SAM**

That is sick.

 

DEAN puts tha bloody pile back on tha ground.

 

_(CUT TO: Car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.)_

 

DEAN opens tha trunk n' takes up some weapons.

 

**DEAN**

Well, one thang I hustled from Dad, is dat no matta what tha fuck kind of shapeshifta it is, there’s one shizzle way ta bust a cap up in dat shit.

 

**SAM**

Silver cap ta tha ass.

 

**DEAN**

That’s right.

 

SAM’s cell beeper rings yo. Dude lyrics dat shit.

 

**SAM**

This is Sam.

 

Da scene alternates between tha hoopty n' REBECCA’s kitchen.

 

**REBECCA**

Where is yo slick ass?

 

**SAM**

We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some thangs out.

 

**REBECCA**

Well, look, Sam, just stop, ‘cause I straight-up don’t need yo' help no mo'.

 

**SAM**

What is you talkin’ about?

 

**REBECCA**

I holla'd all up in tha lawyers dat we went ta tha crime scene.

 

SAM scoffs.

 

**SAM**

Why would you do that?

 

**REBECCA**

Well, I holla'd at dem dat we was wit a five-o fool fo' realz. And they checked it out, n' they holla'd at mah crazy ass dat there is no Detectizzle Dean Winchester.

 

**SAM**

Bec-

 

**REBECCA**

Fuck dat shit, I don’t KNOW why you would lie ta me bout suttin' like dat n' like dis n' like dat y'all.

 

**SAM**

We’re tryin’ ta help.

 

**REBECCA**

Oh, tryin ta help, biatch? Do you realize dat that was a sealed crime scene, biatch? This could have just fucked up Zack’s case.

 

**SAM**

Bec, I’m sorry yo, but-

 

**REBECCA**

Fuck dat shit, peace out, Sam.

 

Bitch hangs up. DEAN strutts over ta SAM, whoz ass looks pissed tha fuck off.

 

**DEAN**

I don't give a fuck bout ta say it yo, but that’s exactly what tha fuck I’m talkin’ about. Yo ass lie ta yo' playaz cuz if they knew tha real you, they’d be freaked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It’s just-it’d be easier if-

 

**SAM**

If I was like you, biatch.

 

**DEAN**

Yo, dude, like it or not, we aint like other people. But I’ll rap one thang. This whole gig-it ain’t without perks.

 

Dude holdz up a gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM takes it n' puts it up in tha back of his jeans. They strutt away.

 

_(CUT TO: Sewer n' shit.)_

 

DEAN n' SAM is lookin round wit they flashlights n' guns.

 

**DEAN**

I be thinkin we’re close ta its lair.

 

**SAM**

Why do you say that?

 

**DEAN**

Because there’s another puke-inducin pile next ta yo' face.

 

SAM turns n' sees another pile of blood n' skin on a nearby pipe.

 

**SAM**

(disgusted) Oh, Dogg hommie!

 

They look round tha area n' peep a pile of threadz up in a cold-ass lil corner.

 

**DEAN**

Looks like it’s lived here fo' a while.

 

**SAM**

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck knows how tha fuck nuff murdaz he’s gotten away with, biatch?

 

SAM turns n' sees tha shapeshifter, still up in tha form of tha Asian dude, standin behind DEAN.

 

**SAM**

Dean!

 

DEAN turns n' gets socked by tha shapeshifter n' shiznit yo. Dude falls ta tha ground, n' tha shapeshifta runs away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM blasts afta it all dem times but misses yo. Dude moves over ta DEAN.

 

**DEAN**

Git tha lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch!

 

SAM n' DEAN run away, followin tha shapeshifter.

 

_(CUT TO: Street.)_

 

Da shapeshifta comes outta tha manhole n' runs away. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Secondz later, SAM n' DEAN come up n' look around.

 

**SAM**

All right, let’s split up.

 

**DEAN**

All right, I’ll hook up you round tha other side.

 

**SAM**

All right.

 

They strutt away up in separate directions.

 

_(CUT TO: Alley.)_

 

DEAN is lookin around, wit his wild lil' freakadelic glock drawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Passersby turn away, frightened.

 

_(CUT TO: Street.)_

 

Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM be also searching, while keepin his wild lil' freakadelic glock inside his jacket.

 

_(CUT TO: Alley.)_

 

DEAN is still lookin frantically.

 

_(FADE TO: Street corner n' shit.)_

 

Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is waiting. DEAN comes up behind his muthafuckin ass.

 

**DEAN**

Hey.

 

SAM turns around.

 

**DEAN**

Anything?

 

**SAM**

No yo. He’s gone.

 

**DEAN**

All right, let’s git back ta tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 

SAM crosses tha street. DEAN stops, waitin fo' a passin hoopty ta drive by fo' realz. As tha hoopty passes, DEAN’s eyes momentarily glow silver n' shit. Da screen goes black.


	35. 1.06 Skin (ACT FOUR)

(FADE IN: Street.)

DEAN n' SAM stop all up in tha car.

 **SAM**  
Yo ass be thinkin he found another way underground?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Yeah, probably. Yo ass gots tha keys, biatch?

SAM stops n' be thinkin before turnin around.

 **SAM**  
Yo, didn’t Dad once grill a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifta up in San Antonio?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Oh, dat was Austin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it turned up not ta be a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shapeshifter, dat shiznit was a thought form fo' realz. A psycho projection, remember?

 **SAM**  
Oh, right yo. Here ya go.

Dude throws tha shapeshifta tha keys n' strutts away. Da shapeshifta opens tha trunk n' observes all tha weapons yo. Dude laughs.

 **SAM  
** Don’t move biaaatch!

Da shapeshifta turns n' sees SAM pointin tha glock at his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** What have you done wit him?

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Dude, chill. It’s me, all right?

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, I don’t be thinkin so. Where’s mah brother?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
You’re bout ta blast his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam, quit trippin' out.  


**SAM  
** Yo ass caught dem keys wit yo' left. Yo crazy-ass shoulder was hurt.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Yeah, it’s mo' betta n' shit. What do you want me ta do, cry?

 **SAM  
** You’re not mah brother.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Why don’t you pull tha trigger, then, biatch? Hm, biatch? ‘Cause you’re not sure. Dude, you know mah dirty ass.

 **SAM  
** Don’t.

Da shapeshifta pauses before hittin SAM twice wit a cold-ass lil crowbar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM falls ta tha ground.

(CUT TO: Unknown location.)

I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM wakes up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dingy, dusty room yo. His neck n' handz is bound ta a wooden post. Da shapeshifta strutts over ta his ass n' backhandz his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM groans.

 **SAM**  
Where is he, biatch? Where’s Dean?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
I wouldn’t worry bout his muthafuckin ass. I’d worry bout you, biatch.

 **SAM**  
Where is he?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Yo ass don’t straight-up wanna know. (Dude chuckles.) I swear, tha mo' I learn bout you n' yo' crew-I thought I came from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass background.

 **SAM**  
What do you mean, learn, biatch?

Da shapeshifta stops yo. Dude grabs his head up in pain n' grimaces fo' realz. A quick succession of audio clips from past episodes can be heard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! SAM looks all up in tha shapeshifter, confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da shapeshifta chillaxes n' looks at SAM.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** He’s shizzle gots thangs wit you, biatch. Yo ass gots ta git all up in college yo. Dude had ta stay home. I mean, I had ta stay home. With Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass don’t be thinkin I had tripz of mah own, biatch? But Dad needed mah dirty ass. Where tha hell was yo slick ass?

 **SAM** : Where is mah brother, biatch?

Da shapeshifta leans up in close ta SAM.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** I be yo' brutha n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. Yo ass gots playas. Yo ass could gotz a game. Me, biatch? I know I’m a gangbangin' freak fo' realz. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave mah dirty ass.

Dude backs away.

 **SAM**  
What is you talkin’ about?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Yo ass left yo. Hell, I did every last muthafuckin thang Dad axed mah crazy ass to, n' da ruffneck ditched me, like a muthafucka. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me wit yo' sorry ass. But, still, dis game, biatch? It’s not without its perks. (Dude laughs.) I hook up tha sickst people. Like lil Becky. Yo ass know, Dean would bang her if dat schmoooove muthafucka had tha chance. Let’s peep what tha fuck happens.

Dude smilez n' covers SAM wit a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass sheet.

(CUT TO: INT. - REBECCA’s house.)

There be a knock all up in tha door, n' REBECCA comes downstairs ta open dat shit. Well shiiiit, it is tha shapeshifter, still up in tha form of DEAN.

 **REBECCA**  
Oh yo. Hi.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** I know what tha fuck you’re gonna say.

 **REBECCA**  
Oh, you do?

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Well, no, not exactly. But I can take a guess. Git off mah porch, biatch?

Bitch laughs.

 **REBECCA  
** That’s bout right.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** I admit it, our slick asses lied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Thought I’d try ta explain mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam holla'd at mah crazy ass not ta come yo, but, you know, I thought, what tha fuck tha hell, I gotta try.

Dude smiles.

(CUT TO: Unknown location.)

 I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is tryin ta git outta his bangin ropes but fails.

 **SAM**  
Damn dat shit.

Dude hears movement up in another area of tha room, n' dat schmoooove muthafucka hears one of mah thugs coughing.

 **DEAN** : (OS) That betta be you, Sam, n' not dat freak of nature.

SAM laughs.

 **SAM**  
Yeah, it’s mah dirty ass.

DEAN manages ta uncover his dirty ass from tha shizzle n' starts ta undo his bangin ropes. Dude went ta Rebecca’s, lookin’ like you, biatch.

 **DEAN**  
Well, he’s not fuckin wack yo. Dude picked tha thugged-out one.

SAM gives his ass a cold-ass lil trippin look, then continues ta work all up in his bangin ropes.

(CUT TO: REBECCA’s house.)

Livin room. REBECCA n' tha shapeshifta is chillin up in front of tha fireplace.

 **REBECCA**  
So, you’re sayin dat there’s suttin' up there dat made itself be lookin like mah brother.

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Mmhmm.

 **REBECCA**  
What’d you call it?

 **SHAPESHIFTER** : A shapeshifter n' shit. (REBECCA laughs n' rolls her eyes.) Yeah, maybe we’re crazy. But what tha fuck if we’re not, biatch? I mean, look, you holla'd it yo ass dat Zack was up in two places at once. Now, tell me how tha fuck dat can happen.

 **REBECCA**  
Okay, so, dis thang-it can make itself be lookin like anybody?

 **SHAPESHIFTER** : That’s right.

Bitch chuckles.

 **REBECCA  
** Well, what tha fuck is it, like a genetic freak, biatch?

Da shapeshifta laughs.

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Maybe. Evolution be bout mutation, right, biatch? So, maybe dis thang started doin thangs human but was different yo. Hideous n' hated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Until he hustled ta become one of mah thugs.

REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. Da shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, n' da perved-out muthafucka smiles.

(CUT TO: Unknown location.)

I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN n' SAM is still hustlin they way outta they ropes.

 **SAM**  
Yeah, that’s tha thang yo. Dude didn’t just be lookin like you, da thug was you, biatch. Or da thug was becomin you, biatch.

DEAN finally works his way outta tha ropes.

 **DEAN**  
What do you mean?

 **SAM**  
I don’t know, dat shiznit was like da thug was downloadin yo' thoughts n' memories.  
**DEAN**  
Yo ass mean, like tha Vulcan mind meld?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, somethin’ like dis shit. I mean, maybe that’s why da ruffneck don’t just bust a cap up in us.

DEAN gets up n' strutts over ta SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Maybe he need ta keep our asses kickin dat shit, yo. Psychic connection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Dude starts untyin SAM’s ropes.

 **SAM  
** Hands. Yeah. Come on, we gotta go yo. He’s probably at Rebecca’s already.

(CUT TO: Alley.)

DEAN n' SAM climb up a window n' onto tha street.

 **SAM  
** Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We gotta find a phone, call tha police.

 **DEAN  
** Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re gonna put a APB up on mah dirty ass.

SAM shrugs.

 **SAM**  
Sorry.

 **DEAN** : This way.

They start hustlin down tha street.

(CUT TO: REBECCA’s house. Livin room.)

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** It’s funky. I kind of KNOW his muthafuckin ass yo. He’s all alone-close ta no one fo' realz. All da thug wants is fo' one of mah thugs ta ludd his muthafuckin ass yo. He’s like mah dirty ass. (REBECCA looks straight-up uncomfortable.) Yo ass know, dem hoes needz a lil human bust a nut on now n' then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It’s so hard ta be different.

Dude tucks REBECCA’s afro behind her ear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch shrugs away.

 **REBECCA**  
Yo ass should go. (Da shapeshifta leans up in n' whispers suttin' up in her ear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks horrified n' standz up.) Yo ass is disgusting, just git tha hell outta here!

 **SHAPESHIFTER  
** Rebecca, just quit trippin' out.

Dude standz up.

 **REBECCA**  
Calm down, biatch? What tha fuck iz poppin' off wit yo slick ass?

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
What’s wack wit me son, biatch? What’s wack wit yo slick ass, biatch?

Bitch strutts ta tha phone.

 **REBECCA**  
I’m callin tha police.

Da shapeshifta strutts over ta her n' throws tha beeper ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screams n' tries ta run away yo, but tha pimpin' muthafucka trips her n' she falls ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude straddlez her hairy-ass legs n' begins tyin her handz wit tha telephone cord.

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
Give me yo' handz muthafucka! (Bitch continues ta scream.) Shut up!

(CUT TO: Bedroom.)

REBECCA is tied up in a cold-ass lil chair, beaten n' bloody.

 **SHAPESHIFTER**  
You’re a sick girl, Rebecca. I mean, I was horny bout you, biatch. Believe me, dat make dis harder n' shit. (Dude holdz up a knife n' examines dat shit.) But I gotta do what tha fuck I gotta do. (Dude moves towardz her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, they hear a cold-ass lil crash come from another room of tha house. REBECCA screams but tha shapeshifta covers her grill n' holdz tha knife ta her throat.) Shh.

(CUT TO: Hallway.)

Da S.W.A.T. crew is searchin tha house. While they backs is turned, tha shapeshifta crosses tha hall n' goes tha fuck into another room.

(CUT TO: Second bedroom.)

Da shapeshifta entas n' closes tha door, lookin round frantically yo. Dude moves ta a set of doors leadin up ta a funky-ass balcony. Just as he opens tha doors, tha S.W.A.T crew enters.

 **POLICE OFFICER**  
Freeze biaaatch! Drop tha knife biaaatch! Drop tha knife biaaatch! Drop tha knife biaaatch! (Da shapeshifta throws tha knife all up in tha five-o fool, n' tha rest of tha crew begins blasting. Da shapeshifta kicks one of tha men, then goes outside n' jumps off tha balcony, onto tha grass below.) Come on! Come on! Go! Go!

Da shapeshifta runs away, while tha crew continues ta blast n' miss his ass nuff muthafuckin times.

(FADE TO: Sewer n' shit.)

Da shapeshifta stops strutting, lookin weak yo. Dude takes off his jacket n' shirt, then falls ta his knees yo. Dude groans n' screams up in pain as his schmoooove ass continues ta shed his skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da screen goes black.


	36. UPDATE

I've decided to turn this work into a series instead of one long story with a thousand chapters. The series is still called Superghetto. I won't be posting anymore on this particular story because, like I said, it is just so much easier. So, if you're interested in continuing reading these, just go to my profile and click the Superghetto series and then simply go to to the episode you're on. Piece of cake for everyone involved. Thank you, my darlings, see you soon. 


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